Wasteland
by Hedonistic Opportunist
Summary: Sometimes, it's good to keep your mouth shut. Yet, keep it shut for too long and that's when things starts to get messy. Just ask Naruto. NaruSasuNaru, NaruSaku. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Wasteland**

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. At all. Move along.

A/N:

After much consideration, I realised that I was impulsive and, yes, rude to have deleted this. Especially towards the few who were interested in where this was going. I apologise for this stupid, foolish move on my part and hope you won't hate me too much for it.

Before, I forget this fic has nothing to with Becca Abbot's classic Ai No Kusabi fic "Wasteland" or T. S. Eliot. I just chose the title because it fits the mood, and direction the fic is going to take best.

All criticism is accepted.

I thank **Out Of Sheo**l for bet'ing this.

...

One of Sasuke's freakish neighbours was knocking loudly against the wall again – on and off, off and on.

Each time this person did so, a loud and shrill bang resounded, rousing Naruto from his sluggish state, as if he'd been poked by a needle -- deliberately and sadistically slowly -- so that the pain could gradually spread and twirled over his body like vines.

Then, to make things even better, another jackass, probably related to the wall-knocking asshat, started to listen to rap music, cranking the stereo up the highest volume. So high that whatever came blaring out of it, attacked both Naruto and Sasuke's ears with an ear-drum splintering intensity and – nearly – knocked them over.

Naruto slammed his fist against the wall; Sasuke didn't even look up, though he knew why his best friend's patience had cracked.

Enough was just enough.

"Say, does that fucker over there never stop?" Naruto finally asked, wincing when another wave of Coolio's haphazardly arranged sentences invaded his ears; he shook his throbbing hand, wincing a little more when he noted how his skin burnt. Perhaps, driving his fist against the hard concrete wall hadn't been a good idea.

Furthermore, Naruto could feel a headache coming on, the sort that blinded and dazzled you to such an extreme that it induced you to jump out of windows, break bones and scream until your lungs exploded.

Sasuke shook his head. "No. He's like this all the time. Just like the one who's knocking on the wall."

Naruto threw him a "you're kidding me" look and was about to bolt through the door, probably intent on giving Sasuke's neighbour a good kick in the head, or murder him single-handedly. Naturally, neither of them were necessarily favourable solutions to this (as previously described) awful situation.

Therefore, Sasuke stopped Naruto before he could wreak any havoc. Experience had taught him that letting Naruto loose his cool just wasn't a good idea; he'd given too many people a taste of his wild and rebellious side, and they'd either ended up getting nursed by their mothers or had moved away. Naruto wasn't exactly a gentle person.

Understandably, Sasuke didn't want any trouble. He had already had enough on his plate; he didn't need any more, really.

Naruto was such an idiot.

Dragging Naruto by the sleeve of his cotton shirt back into the centre of the room, Sasuke, rolling his eyes in that manner, which signified annoyance and would have made anyone than his best friend run for his life, said:

"You'll get used to do this."

"Fuck no!" Naruto replied, and plopped down on Sasuke's bed with a loud and violent plump. He looked up to the Heavens and shook his hands before speaking again,"Your new place sucks. Your mother should have at least allowed your old man to keep his house."

Sasuke seemed to be compelled to roll his eyes again. For starters, this apartment wasn't new: he, his brother Itachi and his jolly-good Daddy had moved in here when he'd been twelve. Which, as far as Sasuke could recall, had happened some good six years ago. Naruto was total shit when it came to numbers, it seemed. Then again, he wasn't surprised. As far as Sasuke was concerned, he'd never grown used to this poor excuse of an apartment.

"Well, my father should have been smarter than starting an affair with her best friend. You wouldn't take it well either, if the person you built your universe upon betrayed you like that," Sasuke noted, feeling cold and chilly when he'd thought of how his parents' marriage had fallen apart. Even now, the sound of his mother's crying still sent goosebumps running up and down his arms. Whenever he saw her, which wasn't as often as he'd liked, she stared out into space and avoided talking about his father.

Sasuke knew that it still hurt too much.

As much as he hated to admit it, his father deserved it. No, scratch that, he deserved to rot in hell for tearing their family apart.

Naruto didn't respond. His own mother had been dead for years, so he really couldn't say anything on that subject. What he could do though was cheer Sasuke up, and he would do just that.

"Sorry. I guess I'll just miss sleeping in a villa. It made me proud – I could always brag around that it belonged to me."

Sasuke huffed. "So you only befriended me because of that?"

"No, 'course not. You're also a blast with homewo-"

Sasuke threw a book at Naruto, who instinctively caught it with one hand. Sasuke shook his head, and grinned:

"Shut it. So nice to know that you only hang around with me because I actually bother to do my homework."

Naruto sighed loudly and Sasuke fell silent again, focusing on his work once more. Naruto smirked: he'd always admired Sasuke for his ability to be able to deal with his – admittedly – annoying whining and still focus on his assignments.

_Click, Clack, Clash_ were the sounds that Sasuke's continuous typing produced. Even if there was nothing outrageously special in typing things, Sasuke made it look like an art. The words flowed out of him seamlessly and he only paused – never more than half a minute – to either look at his pre-written homework or flex his aching fingers.

With ardent fascination, Naruto observed how swiftly Sasuke's long pale fingers hit the letters of the keyboard, never seeming to do anything wrong. Wanting to get a closer look, Naruto rose from the bed in silent steps and carefully made his way over to Sasuke's well-organised desk, which wasn't drowning in files of papers like his was.

Sasuke stiffened momentarily when he noticed Naruto standing behind him. He couldn't help it – it was some sort of nervous impulse. Or so he told himself internally. And yet, at the sound of Naruto's voice – his breath hitched.

"You know that I'm only kidding, don't you? I mean, you're my best friend and – nothing will ever change that," Naruto said hoarsely.

Sasuke halted in his typing movements, looking up at Naruto with poorly disguised surprise. His black eyes were probing deeply into the other's soul, searching for something that only Naruto was capable of giving to him – Naruto stared back in the same way, even though he did not realise this himself.

Taken a bit aback, Naruto walked away again, not realising that he was trembling slightly. He took a loud breath and began to lick his lips, forcing himself to think of something else – like, say, food. Food was good; food always made him happy. Subsequently, Naruto's stomach growled – loud enough to attract Sasuke's attention yet again.

"Hungry? I can get you something from the fridge..."

Naruto shook his head in a decisive way. Cold tuna fish didn't appeal to him.

"How about we go out and grab some at McDonald's?" Naruto suggested, hoping that Sasuke would take him up on the offer.

"That's unhealthy."

"Oh come on. It won't kill you."

"It won't because I don't eat that crap," Sasuke said tersely and crossed his arms in what looked to be indignation. Indeed, the very thought of oily hamburgers and way too salted chips made the bile come rising to his throat. And all the documentaries he'd watched about cooks spitting into food didn't help ease that sensation one bit.

"You could like just tag along. To talk. You spend way too much time in that blasted room."

Again, Naruto found himself looking at the room, this time paying more attention to it. Everything about it was so pristinely tidy – not a book was out of place. In all the years that Naruto had known Sasuke, he'd never seen his friend's room or things look messy before. Everything about Sasuke spelled orderliness. Indeed, he possessed a nearly samurai-like disciplined approach to life.

Sasuke met Naruto's eyes. He knew what Naruto was going to say, and he didn't like it.

"We're graduating this year, Naruto. This isn't the -" Sasuke started, rubbing his forehead rather hurriedly. He was starting to feel cold again; it chilled him right through the bone.

Naruto knew Sasuke well enough to know that he had to interrupt him. Before Sasuke got way too passionate about lecturing him on the importance of being studious. Not that Naruto disagreed with Sasuke, but right now, he just wasn't in the mood. Besides, throwing a quick glance around the room, Naruto knew they had to get out here; it was damned stifling and oppressive in here.

"This is exactly the time to be having fun, Sasuke."

"You're so totally stupid."

"Why? 'Cause I want to live rather than spend all my time locked up in a room studying?" Naruto uttered, his voice rising up quite a bit, so much that he was nearly yelling. "Well, excuse me for wanting to have a bit of fun before university drains the crap out of me."

"Fine," Sasuke answered through gritted teeth. "Let's go."

"Awesome! You're the best, man."

Saying that, Naruto tackled the just rising from his seat Sasuke and his fingers curled themselves – nearly aggressively – around Sasuke's shoulders. At first, the other boy, as if he were shell-shocked by that gesture, didn't react at all, but remained motionless. Naruto swore that he could hear Sasuke's heartbeat hammering against his ribcage, and that – inexplicably – made him feel electrified. If only because Naruto knew that he was the only one to evoke such kinds of reactions out of Sasuke. In that instant, Naruto didn't even question whether this was appropriate. Whether holding Sasuke that intimately was really platonic.

"Naruto..."

Then, his hands carefully wrapped themselves around Naruto's own shoulders, and Sasuke closed his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy that brief moment. Naruto was so warm, so full of warmth and vivacity that even touching him was a scorching feel. Against reason, Sasuke's hands gripped even tighter Naruto's broad shoulders, covered by a warm cotton pullover; his fingernails dug into Naruto's skin and it felt wonderful.

All of a sudden, Naruto let go, gurgling in his throat – he didn't know why – and only briefly patted Sasuke on the shoulder.

"I guess we should be going," he said jovially, a large grin playing on his face.

Sasuke nodded. "All right."

...

In spite of the fact that it was a Monday evening, the streets were – as per usual – bustling with fierce energy.

Cars zoomed by at a frightening , people walked about mindlessly and everywhere you looked, lights – be they green, red or yellow – flashed down on everyone and everything. It was the most vexing experience of sounds and sights that Sasuke had ever been exposed to. Naruto, of course, thought differently – for him it was the very epitome of being alive.

"This isn't so bad, is it?" Naruto asked, rubbing his hands hastily and surveying the scene with wicked delight lighting up his features, most notably his blue eyes. They sparkled; Naruto was that excited.

"It's brilliant," Sasuke answered in a dead-panned voice, and turned his eyes away from the scene, feeling he'd die of a heart attack instead.

"You don't have to sound that enthusiastic, you know?"

Sasuke sighed, and pulled Naruto into a darker corner. This was better, he thought: the lights were less dazzling here and, even if the urine odour was slightly pungent to his delicate senses, Sasuke preferred it to the smell of heavy perfume and alcohol coming from other people.

"I thought we'd go some place else. It's loud."

Naruto started to shake – more and more with every passing second. He sunk down onto the dirty, filthy and in wrappers covered floor, all the while holding his stomach. Then, as if triggered by some feverish impulse, Naruto burst out laughing; he laughed so hard that even the rats hiding in their holes came out to see what had happened.

"What?" Sasuke spat out, wondering what happened to his idiot of a best friend. He didn't recall anything humorous in his previous actions.

"If you weren't my best friend, I'd thought you'd dragged me here to indulge in public sex."

For a moment, Sasuke was perfectly silent. Then his hands balled to a fist and, gnashing his teeth, he finally yelled out:

"You stupid pervert! I didn't mean it like _that _!"

"Hey, I was only kidding. But you should have seen your face, Sasuke-dear. Nearly made me believe that you'd been planning something along these lines."

"In your wildest dreams."

"No thanks, man. I'd rather do it with a woman," Naruto said laughingly, poking his tongue at Sasuke and the moving to get out of the depressingly dark alleyway. The smell of rotting apples and cigarette ashes just didn't settle with Naruto.

Naruto never saw Sasuke flinch at that comment; he never saw how the words that had so carelessly rolled past his tongue made Sasuke downcast his eyes, square his shoulders, and bite his lower lip in recurring and cruel motions. If Naruto had seen, he'd have thought twice about what he'd said.

"Right," Sasuke muttered non-committally, though he was still nabbing at his lower lip with his teeth. He stopped when he tasted a copper, bitter taste flowing inside of his mouth; it was blood. He quickly wiped it off before Naruto could see it.

...

McDonald's being a cultural phenomenon that not only prevailed in the USA and Europe, but was also beginning to sink its greedy teeth into the Asian civilizations, was crowded and noisy. The sounds were like an unstoppable wave, soaking all the individuals sitting, crowding the place wet with its overwhelming attacks.

"God, this is perfect. Only ramen is better," Naruto announced proudly before he took a full bite of his hamburger.

Sasuke watched this with disgust. Even if the Age of the Barbarians had long since transpired, Naruto was one of the few specimen that still had not been extinct. He ate like a pig – no, he ate like an entire hoard of pigs.

"You could at least eat with your mouth closed."

"Mmmh?"

"Forget it," Sasuke growled and continued to tap his fingers against the plastic surface of the table. Naruto was incorrigible, but that was just the way things were. And Sasuke liked it.

All of a sudden, a cellphone rang. It was Naruto's and he picked it up immediately, fishing the metallic-grey object out of his jean pocket with exited happiness.

"Ah Sakura! Ah, I'm at McDonald's. Sure you can come if you want. We'll be waiting."

Naruto put the cellphone back into his pocket. "That's fine with you isn't it, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's jaw clenched and he turned his head away for a moment – to the left, looking at a couple of boys munching grotesquely away at chips.

"Sure, it is. You didn't have to ask," he said coolly, so coolly that Naruto looked up.

"It's just that you start getting all bitchy and irritated when Sakura-chan comes bursting in. At least, that's what you've been doing lately."

"That's your imagination."

"You sure? Don't worry, she no longer has a thing for you," Naruto said. "She's dating me now."

"Naruto, you and I've known Sakura since we're kids. Just because you're dating her, it doesn't have to change things between me and her. Or you and me, for that matter."

It was perfectly rational, really. Sasuke was his best friend, and he didn't see why a girlfriend should worsen things between the two of them. So far, it hadn't changed anything.

"That's what I'm thinking exactly," Naruto said, nodding in appreciation. But his hands were clenched, and Sasuke was biting his lips – again.

"Yes, then I don't see why we're wasting any more words on this matter."

"I'm just thinking that maybe-" Naruto started, clenching his hands even tighter.

"No, Naruto. Just no."

"You didn't even hear me out!"

"I knew what you were going to say. I'm not going to go out with Ino, thank you very much."

Naruto buried his head in his hands, feeling better like this – the warmth emanating from his calloused and dry hand was comforting, even soothing to his aggravated nerves, which he'd kept pent up for too long. Sasuke was once again being an idiotic stubborn prat. So, he couldn't give up on him just yet.

"She's not such a bad girl, seriously. And she's got a fine ra-"

The very mention of "racks" was enough to make something wild and inhumane flare up in Sasuke: he seemed to be so mortified by the very suggestion that he rose from his seat. Naruto looked up at Sasuke, and shook his head.

"Gee, Sasuke... what the hell? I wasn't saying anything offensive, was I?"

"Say more and you'll regret it," Sasuke promised darkly, his eyes glinting dangerously and Naruto knew that it was time to change the topic. He'd known Sasuke for way too long, and he knew that an angered Sasuke wasn't a pleasant one.

"Fine, fine. Have it your way, bastard. I don't care if you die as a grimy old grit who's never lost his virginity."

And Naruto was on the verge of giving up. He hated it how upset Sasuke looked whenever Sakura's name was mentioned; he'd thought that finding a girl for Sasuke to hang around with would make him less irritable. Ah, whatever, he thought, throwing another look at his grim friend while slurping out of his coke.

He shouldn't have given a damn, honestly. But Naruto couldn't help it, and at times he felt he never would. He just cared too much about Sasuke.

...

Sakura had always loved going to the city at night. It seemed to her that everything was more magnificent and glorious at night, even the dirtiest and filthiest areas. Indeed, glorified by majestic lights and groovy music bouncing outwards from the discos, the aforementioned shanty places were made more alluring.

She smiled when she saw Naruto and Sasuke sitting in one of the farthest corners of the restaurant. This had to be Sasuke's influence, she reasoned. Only he would have chosen such a place, being the anti-social person he was.

"Hey," Naruto called out, waving his hand when he spotted her, again smiling in a way that made Sakura feel welcomed and cherished; she made her way to him quickly, grinning when she observed the smile on his face. He was practically glowing with mirth and excitement.

Naruto pulled Sakura into a bone-crushing hug and kissed her – briefly and sweetly – on the lips. He pulled back just as quickly as he'd pecked her, leaving a slightly disappointed-looking Sakura behind. Sometimes, just sometimes, she wished that Naruto would kiss her a little more enthusiastically. It wasn't as if they had to be ashamed of anything! After all, they were dating, weren't they?

In spite of that reassurance, Sakura froze momentarily when her eyes met Sasuke's – she could very well sense that something wasn't alright. He was way too silent.

"Sasuke, how are you doing?" Sakura said, immediately taking a seat, so she could talk to him face-to face.

"Fine," was his gruffly-uttered reply, and Sasuke looked away.

"Ah, that's nice."

"Yeah, it is."

They'd have probably taken turns at this monosyllabic conversation, if Naruto hadn't interrupted him. Energetically, he'd risen from his seat and was rummaging his wallet for some coins.

"Say, Sakura-chan, what should I order you?"

"Just an ice-cream – chocolate flavoured."

"Right, I'll get you that. Sasuke, you want anything?"

"No."

"Sasuke, you don't look happy. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sasuke said," It's nothing you've got to concern yourself with."

Not buying it, Sakura grabbed hold of Sasuke's hand, twining her own fingers around his in a gentle, soothing manner; he had such cold hands and Sakura felt the need to warm them with her own.

"Hey, don't lie. I'm your friend. You can always confide in me, you know?"

"Shouldn't you be saying these things to Naruto? I don't think-"

Sakura snorted, and let go off Sasuke's hand again – as if she'd been burnt; he was doing this _again_. Again, he was insinuating things that made her feel as if she'd been the most flirtatious and fickle whore this side of town. Even the way he looked down at her with that upturned nose and through those heavy-lidded eyes made Sakura feel cheap, sick even.

"I'm not offering you free sex or something like that. I'm just saying that you can talk to me – like a friend."

"Whatever," Sasuke retorted, regarding her in such a grim and callous way that Sakura felt like she'd been slapped in the face. Or been pushed down a cliff. It was hard to keep the mortifying agony, which was forming in her chest, from manifesting itself physically – Sakura knew that crying in front of Sasuke would have only made her all the more appalling to him.

"And I'd never hurt Naruto like that. And I'm over you, Sasuke-dear. Have been for a quite a while. But it doesn't mean that I don't get to care for you," Sakura pleaded, though it didn't work: Sasuke remained imperviously impassive and there wasn't a flicker of emotion in his face. "Though sometimes I really don't know why."

Even at this, Sasuke merely rolled his eyes, and looked up at the ceiling, which was white and where yellow, ugly little lamps gave light to the whole of the building.

"Just leave it be then, Sakura."

"Fine," Sakura agreed, snappishly and looked away; hot-cold anger was flooding inside her like a volcano, and it would have only taken a simple _click _for it to explode, and come spewing forth.

"Good."

"I just don't understand why you hate me, Sasuke. I really don't."

"I don't hate-"

"You do. You didn't even treat me like this when I was drooling over you like a fluff-brained idiot."

"That's just what you think."

Sakura wanted to open her mouth to say more, but the sounds of footsteps approaching stopped her. It was Naruto, carrying a large tray with ice-cream and coke placed on it.

"Sorry for the wait, guys. There was a queue, and I really couldn't get out sooner. Some guy was practically ordering the whole store, so to speak."

Sakura laughed. "Don't apologise, Naruto."

Naruto smiled back and was just about to place the tray on the table, when he noticed that Sasuke was rising from his seat.

"Sasuke, where are you going?"

"Home. I need to get that essay done."

"But- it's not due till Friday. You've still got time."

"I'd rather do it now. Bye."

With that, Sasuke turned away and walked out of the door. He didn't even look back once.

Naruto shook his head, frowning. "Strange. Why is he so pissed off?"

"I don't know. It might have been me," Sakura complied silently.

"You? Why would he be angry at you, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura shrugged her shoulders. "I've been trying to figure that out, Naruto."

"Ah, never mind. He's probably just angry that he's not getting any, though I've been trying to get him to date a few girls."

"You really think that's the problem, Naruto?"

"Yeah, what else would it be?"

Sakura shrugged, and commenced to eat her ice-cream; it tasted delicious and she sighed contently when she felt the chocolate-flavoured ice-cream melt in her mouth.

"You're probably right."

Naruto grinned, and grabbed hold of her hand; he squeezed it firmly.

"Just don't think about it, okay? I don't like seeing you sad."

"I'm not sad. I can't be sad when I'm up with _you_, Naruto."

Naruto's hand let go of Sakura's abruptly. Sakura was about to ask what had happened when she felt Naruto's lips brush against her own again, still gentle, but with more passion and need this time; his tongue was massaging her, begging for entrance, igniting feels of excitement and thrill to build up inside of her. Sakura shuddered at these sensations– they'd not kissed like this that often before. In fact, she couldn't recall that Naruto had ever been that forward with her up until now.

It was a bit odd, really.

However, she gave Naruto permission and edged closer to him, feeling the end of the table dig rather uncomfortably in her stomach. But she didn't stop.

All of a sudden, loud cheers erupted around them and Naruto broke the kiss, noticing that a couple of kids were leering at them – he didn't like it. The couple of kids weren't actually kids anymore – at least not small ones. Rather it was a gang of about six adolescent boys, all dressed in baggy pants and adorned with heavy, evidently expensive jewellery hanging down their necks. Sakura restrained a giggle; they looked ridiculous to her.

But Naruto wasn't quite as amused.

"What the hell you staring at?" Naruto roared, obvious embarrassment and frustration at having been interrupted intermingling with his anger.

"Go to a love hotel, you freaks."

"You go to one, fuckers."

Naruto sat down again.

"Eh, sorry. I got a bit carried away," Naruto apologised; his ears were red and he was scratching his head.

"No, it's fine. It's fine, Naruto. I'm happy when you do that," Sakura admitted, allowing her small, agile hands to caress Naruto's cheek gingerly, brushing past the fox-like markings that he'd been born with. "I love you, Naruto. I really, really love you."

"I love you too. I just wish Sasuke-idiot weren't such a bastard."

...

The streets were nearly deserted and stark black, save for a few blinking lights here and there, when Naruto approached the grey and dull-looking apartment. It was more than dull perhaps – ugly would have been a better word. Surrounded by crooked, leafless trees and painted in that drab and depressing grey that was peeling off bit by bit, it was the most appalling edifice Naruto had ever seen. And yet, he didn't care. Maybe because appearances just weren't everything.

Besides, Sasuke lived here.

Naruto didn't have to knock, but searched his pockets for the single key hanging from a Son Goku key chain; Itachi had given him the key as a birthday gift a few years ago.

_Since you're here so often, you might as well own a key. _

Naruto smiled at the memory.

...

With a loud shuffling of jackets and trainers squeaking against the floor Sasuke was informed of Naruto's arrival: Naruto, even after the clock toiled one, was never quiet. But it didn't matter – no one stopped Naruto from being loud. He was the only thing that kept the apartment vibrant, alive even.

"Hey-" Sasuke started when Naruto entered his room, but stopped when he saw the wild and dangerous aura coming from Naruto. This wasn't good. Sasuke put the book, which he'd been reading down, and decided to focus all of his attention on the other boy.

"What happened?"

Naruto kicked off his shoes angrily, and paced around the room before he answered. When he spoke, his voice seemed to crackle with fury.

"You know Sasuke, you don't have to treat Sakura like shit. She was upset over it today."

"And you cheered her up, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did. But-"

"Then, it's not important anymore."

"Sasuke-"

"I don't want to hear anything about your or Sakura's sex life," Sasuke cut in curtly, and he kept his eyes averted from Naruto's; he found his white-washed – perfectly white-washed – walls to be more comforting. He hadn't realised how comforting they were before.

Naruto stomped one foot on the ground. "Moron! You know as well as I do that we haven't done that yet."

"But you want to."

"So? Is there something wrong about it? She's my girlfriend, you know!"

Naruto didn't get it. He just didn't. When you loved someone – a lot – then it was only natural that you'd like to be physically intimate with them.

"Am I saying something?" Sasuke asked, throwing his hands up in the air in a dramatic fashion that made Naruto inclined to disbelieve him. As long as he'd known Sasuke, he knew that the bastard had a flare for theatrics.

"No. And that's it – you're not saying anything. And still, for some damned fucking reason, you've been impossible for the past nine months!"

"How?" Sasuke asked; he sounded incredulous.

"You get all snarky and sarcastic whenever Sakura's mentioned – I mean since I've started to date her, you've only been an asshole about it!"

"Naruto-"

But there was no stopping Naruto now – Sasuke had been rubbing salt into the wound for too long.

"Is it because you think I don't deserve her? Or are you just jealous – can't you tell me what's going on?"

"No, because you wouldn't get it, Naruto. You just wouldn't."

Naruto sighed. "Well, fine then. Don't talk. But in the future don't make her feel like garbage anymore, Sasuke. Sakura deserves better than that."

"I know. She's more important than I am, isn't that what you're going to say?"

Naruto stopped. He shook his head and, all of a sudden, grabbed Sasuke by the hem of his shirt.

"No, for fuck's sake – no. You're both important to me. I love you and Sakura – so much it hurts. I hate seeing you like this."

Sasuke's left hand grabbed hold of the tanned and calloused hand that was holding his hem; he let his fingers run over it, liking how Naruto – unconsciously – edged closer at the contact.

Once again, Sasuke looked up at Naruto, this time fixing him with a glare that rendered Naruto immobile. He still hadn't let go off Sasuke.

"Naruto, you're an utter, utter moron. The biggest idiot of all," Sasuke finally admitted, still touching Naruto's hand with his own.

The bed creaked; Naruto had used the intermittent silence as a signal to sit down – and this he'd done. It was a large bed, which was fantastic to sleep in due to having a soft mattress and comfy pillows. As much as Sasuke proved to be an irredeemably cold-hearted jerk at times, his bed never disappointed.

"I'll be staying over, if you don't mind."

"Of course."

"It's because Kakashi, that damned pervert, would give me hell otherwise. I really hate-"

"Yeah, yeah. You hate him, Naruto. I get it."

"How so?"

"You've been saying this for the past ten years," Sasuke simply supplied, pulling a cover over him. He was already dressed in pyjamas.

"I'll just never understand why my father had to choose to be gay for Kakashi, of all people."

Sasuke didn't answer, but Naruto hadn't expected one. "I mean, I don't have a problem with them being together...it's just that Kakashi's stupid perverted jokes drive me crazy. He always asks me whether I've finally managed to get myself laid."

Sasuke grinned, which grew into a wide smile – something other people never saw him do and then he was laughing – laughing in such a hearty and carefree way that it was quite unlike him. Naruto could barely speak properly for a few minutes; the last time he'd had heard Sasuke laugh like that had been ages.

"That's not funny!" Naruto insisted.

"I'm sorry, it is."

"You're really just a bastard. I'd wonder what you'd do if Itachi kept asking you things like that all day long."

"Itachi wouldn't do that," came the brief response, but Naruto didn't feel like giving up yet.

"I mean, if he would-"

"Itachi wouldn't."

"Whatever, you and your stupid brother complex. He's not perfect, you know?"

"No, but it doesn't mean that you get to insult him."

"I wasn't insulting him, just – forget it."

"I know..." Sasuke said simply and carefully brushed Naruto's slumped shoulders with his hands, liking how the other boy's warmth seemed to flow into and eventually envelop his body as well. Sasuke decided that he had to be an idiot for thinking such cheesy thoughts, but he couldn't help it. "How about we go to bed? It's way past curfew."

"Sure, why not?"

Naruto didn't change into any spare pyjamas, but merely took off his sweatshirt and got into bed beside Sasuke; it didn't strike him as odd or unnatural: he'd also switched the light off before climbing into bed with Sasuke. Hence, darkness enveloped the room now and the only thing Naruto could sense about Sasuke were the cold feet brushing against his, and the boy's constant breathing. Naruto liked it.

"Sasuke?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I'm not angry at you, okay?"

"Okay."

Sasuke wanted to add that it wouldn't have been necessary to apologise. Since, to be fair, Naruto had been right to be angry at him. After all, he had behaved wrongly: he'd been doing that for the past few months.

And in the still darkness, feeling Naruto's body warmth gingerly curl around his own body, slowly warming him, Sasuke's heart constricted and something similar to nausea swept over his body; he shuddered and hugged himself tighter.

He had to apologise.

However, by the time Sasuke found the courage to say what he wanted, it was too late: Naruto's soft snores filled the room already.

"Well fuck it," Sasuke whispered out into the mocking darkness.

...

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:

A lot of thanks goes to **Out of Sheol** for bet'ing this. She helped to make this chapter a lot more readable than it originally was. All criticism accepted.

.......

The incessant, incorrigibly awful banging resounded once again in the pristinely kept room. Although it started off quietly enough with only some _pock pock_ interrupting the calm, the sound – as if triggered off by some untameable impulse – grew into a pounding, thundering and cracking noise that overpowered everything else.

At first, Naruto managed to ignore it, still being too immersed in his dream of steaming hot ramen dancing in front of his eyes. Even though it was only a dream, Naruto swore that he could taste the ramen, feel it warming his body and making him giddy with over eager happiness. He swore that he'd never eaten better.

But then, there was a particularly loud – and crunching – _bang _that finally tore him away from his pleasant dream. So, it had happened that the ramen dissolved into mid-air, and was replaced by the harsh reality of a Tuesday morning.

One, two ... his eyes opened, squinting in the dim glow of the daylight. Of course, Naruto immediately fell to cursing.

"Fuck," he muttered out, stretching his arms and allowing his eyes to slowly get used to the sunlight flowing in through the opened window. The sunlight wasn't an intense feat of yellow and bright rays lightening up the room in a warm glow, but still had a timid, nearly hesitant quality to it; the room was engulfed in bright luminescence, but was still slightly dark and drab.

It couldn't be five am yet, Naruto reasoned with a loud growl. That neighbour was really an idiot and, clenching his fist, Naruto decided that he'd teach him a lesson one day. Provided that he'd persuade Sasuke into allowing him to do so. Otherwise, he'd just be forced to do it without the bastard's knowledge.

Speaking of bastards, Sasuke was still asleep in his usual position. He was curled together, his arms and legs huddled together protectively; his long bangs fell against his forehead, thus hiding his face from any pesky observers. Not there were any observes in this room, apart from Naruto, mind you.

Then again, Naruto didn't care much about Sasuke's appearance in the mornings. Sure, he looked kind of cute, but in that slobbering, defenceless kind of cute most stern people looked when they slept. Sasuke, for a fact, did look cuter than cute when he slept, probably cuter than most times.

Naruto slapped himself on the forehead. What the hell was he thinking? Was he thinking at all?

I'm not gay, he thought and decided to crawl out of bed. At least, Naruto decided he was pretty sure he wasn't.

He really had to get going. He'd left all his school things at home, and he doubted that his professor would accept excuses anymore.

He wouldn't have much difficulty in that: Sasuke was a heavy sleeper. Naruto grinned at that realisation.

As he managed to get out of bed, pick up his sweater from the floor and put it on leisurely, Naruto forced himself not to laugh out at loud. The neighbour was still going on at it – louder than before, in fact, but Sasuke was still sleeping. He hadn't as much as shifted in position, even though a loud song was blasting and booming everything out of proportions. Perhaps, this was strange, but not unusual. Not for Sasuke, at least.

"I guess you'll always be sleeping through things, Sasuke," Naruto whispered and covered Sasuke's body with the blankets. He'd been shivering slightly.

Oh well. Some things never changed.

He left a note before closing the door behind him.

...

In the mornings, the trains or the densha as it was called in Japanese, were much less active than during the well-known rush hours. During the rush hours people scrambled together like flocks of sheep, crowding the station as well as the train itself in such violent streams that fainting fits weren't an unheard of thing.

But most of all, it was the heat.

Naruto, thankfully, was saved from all of those terrors because it was a cool, somewhat stormy morning.

Therefore, there were no masses of people to worry about, no one he was pushed up against and no heavy or hard bags poked against his body. No, there was none of that crap. In fact, Naruto was one of the only ones abroad, so to speak.

It was bit odd to sit alone on that nearly deserted train, having no one to talk to and no glimpse into other people's discussions. Naruto breathed deeply and sank a bit further into his seat, closing his eyes for a short second. He could hear the soft murmurs of the train rolling, rushing and wheezing; the sound made him feel sleepy and Naruto was beginning to doze off.

The train was so warm, harbouring the same kind of warmth you'd fine in a bakery offering hot, well-smelling bread and chocolate cake.

Then, the engine halted – abruptly – and Naruto found himself torn out of his comforting daydream. Once again. Naruto opened his eyes and groaned, twisting on his seat.

He looked out of the window and saw a dull landscape, consisting of grey, faded houses and other things that weren't all that interesting to look at, honestly. It seemed that the train had stopped because of some technical problems, which happened every now and then. Naruto didn't care what it was; he only knew that it sucked.

Really, the world hated him. Scratch that, the world was mocking him – even this very train was mocking him.

How long was he going to have to wait, anyway? Damn it, Naruto thought, he wanted to go to bed, not wait here. He stood up, feeling the need to move, to do something. Anything to make the waiting more bearable.

And just when Naruto was about to do something really stupid – like jump out of the window – the train started to roll again.

He sighed in relief.

Naruto sat back on his hard, red-coloured cushioned seat and tapped his fingers against the window of the train, watching how various objects flitted by while the the vehicle moved from station to station.

Finally, he reached the station he needed. Naruto – somewhat groggily – stood up from his seat, squared his shoulders, and moved to the door, sighing all the while. He really didn't want to walk all the way home now.

...

He opened the door to his apartment with an impatient click, letting out a stream of swear words. Naruto yawned quite a bit and moved around less energetically than he usually might have had. He'd been woken up too early today.

I'm so damned tired, Naruto admitted to himself as he pulled the key out of the lock and pushed the door further open. He passed into the entrance hall and his body relaxed; his shoulders stopped being stiff and his breathing slowed down noticeably.

Finally, the worst was beyond him now: he was finally – at damned last – home again. Feeling hungry, Naruto trotted off into the kitchen.

As he reached it, Naruto heard the ticking of the "Maya The Bee" kitchen clock, the buzzing from the fridge, and water running from the tap. Great, Kakashi had probably forgotten to close the tap properly again. Idiot, Naruto thought and resolved to turn the tap off once he was finished undressing.

When he'd closed the door behind him with a dull bang, Naruto bent forward to untie his shoes. He did so with a slight hiss, noticing with a roll of his eyes that his muscles were stiff and uncooperative. Perhaps, he'd been cycling too often lately.

"Well, well, look what the wind has brought home again."

Naruto nearly screamed. That moron! Why did he have to sit there in the darkness! Naruto let out a snort of indignation and switched the light on.

"Kakashi? Why the fuck are you sitting here in the dark?" he asked, until a flash of understanding flitted through his brain. "Wait, are you spying on me or what? Don't tell me you stayed up all night because of _me_."

The older man shrugged his shoulders.

"Wouldn't called it spying, but I'm responsible for you, boy."

"Nobody told you to wait for me," Naruto said in a curt tone, and sat down on a wooden chair, which was situated opposite of Kakashi. "And don't call me 'boy',you know how I hate that."

Kakashi simply nodded, and Naruto could tell that he was grinning underneath that stupid mask of his.

"So, where were you last night?"

"Out with some friends. I spent the night at Sasuke's."

Kakashi continued to smear jam over his sandwich, not once looking up. However, Naruto knew that Kakashi was just playing with him. Therefore, he added, examining his fingernails all the while:

"There's hardly anything special about spending the night at Sasuke's, is there?"

There truly wasn't anything special about him sleeping over at Sasuke's. They'd been friends for God knew how long, and Kakashi was more than well aware of that. In fact, Naruto believed that the other man was only doing this to make him lose his nerves. And he wasn't going to have it. Naruto wanted to stomp on the floor in anger, but he didn't. There was no need for Kakashi to believe that he was that immature.

Seeing that Kakashi hadn't answered yet, but was still eating his sandwich, Naruto added:

"It's totally normal for best friends to sleep with each other."

It only took Naruto a couple of seconds to realise what he'd exactly said, and as soon as he'd understood the full implications of his sentence, Kakashi was already laughing. Naruto squirmed in his seat and watched in amazement as the man he'd never even heard smirk, laughed in an utterly carefree way. In some way, it was nearly contagious and Naruto wanted to laugh along, just to ease some of the searing pain that was forming in his head.

"That was just a -" Naruto started, wanting to get out of this stifling room as soon as possible.

"Freudian Slip?" Kakashi helpfully supplied. "Maybe you're not admitting something to yourself, Naruto?"

Not admitting something to himself? Naruto swore that the room grew even hotter and that – all of a sudden – a bolt of fury was rising within him.

Naruto whipped around and faced Kakashi with a murderous look sparkling in his expressive blue eyes. Anyone else would have backed away, but the man in the grey, drab mask merely blinked and waited for Naruto to get on with the show.

"What are you aiming at, Kakashi? Just spit it out and stop speaking in riddles."

"It's just that I'm wondering how you constantly end up spending the night at his house, rather than Sakura's. Nearly makes me think you're-"

"Stop, okay?" Naruto interrupted Kakashi by waving his hand. He really didn't need to hear that garbage. Least of all from Kakashi, of all people.

Naruto grit his teeth, and used the silence to shift in his hard chair, which creaked and shuddered under his weight. He'd have to remind his father to get a new set of chairs soon. These were no longer any good, and one day they'd break in half. Naruto wasn't willing to wait until then.

"Ah come on, it doesn't mean a thing. Besides, Sakura's parents wouldn't allow me to – you get the drift."

"No, I don't," Kakashi acknowledged silently and crossed his arms in front of his chest, obviously waiting for Naruto to confess something. Naruto looked at him, frowning even more – he couldn't help it. At that very instance, Kakashi just reminded him of an Inquisitor, patiently forcing the truth out of a suspected heretic while the person in question was being deliberately tortured.

"Well, I don't get what you're trying to tell me. And on second thought, I don't want to hear it."

Naruto got up again, feeling he'd used up his quantum for listening to Kakashi's instructing talk. In fact, he'd had it with talking as far as he was concerned.

"Yes, it's just so much easier to live in denial, isn't it?"

This, however, made Naruto turn around and look at Kakashi again; he didn't even realise that he was shaking and clenching his fists in what could only be anger.

"I'm not denying anything!" Naruto spat out, his scarred face scrunched up hideously and his blue eyes shimmering wildly. But that didn't seem to have any visible effect on Kakashi, who merely eyed Naruto in a precarious, keen manner and, then, rose from his seat in one fluid motion.

"When you react like this, Naruto, I'm only the more convinced that you're hiding from something, or better said running away from something or someone."

Naruto remained silent, only acknowledging Kakashi with a loud huff. He heard the shuffling feet, registered through the squeak of the floor that the man had gone to the bedroom. Doubtless to wake up Minato, his father. He could picture that scene before him: Kakashi with his mask off now would bend over his snoring father, place a kiss on his father's forehead or whisper into his ear, thus making the other wake up with a jolt. What a bastard; he always did that, making his father forget himself. Which had disastrous consequences.

Sometimes, it's better not to know everything about your parents and that includes their sex lives.

At that thought, Naruto cringed, and he cringed even further when he reminded himself how good often he'd been woken up by Kakashi and his father. It was quite saddening, in fact. Throughout the years, Kakashi had managed to turn his father into a perverted moron as well. But then again, Naruto couldn't know. Kakashi had been around for so long that Naruto could barely imagine life without him. In fact, as much as hated to admit it, Naruto quite liked having him around. But not always. Today was one of those days.

Naruto's head pounded and he dragged himself to his own room, trudging towards it in heavy, slow and seemingly lead-laden steps. When he finally reached it, Naruto heaved and let out a sigh of relief. It had been long enough.

He didn't switch on the light, knowing fully well that he wouldn't need it. No, he only needed one thing: sleep.

Without any sense of elegance or propriety, Naruto unbuttoned his shirt, let it slide down his shoulders and, in a careless motion, let it lie to rot somewhere on the floor. Not that it mattered. Naruto's room, to put it nicely, wasn't the cleanest of places. A chaos of discarded clothes and stacks of comic books reigned on the floor, the springy, never made bed was littered with even more books and Naruto was constantly forced to shove them off before climbing into it.

Today it was no different.

"What the hell's this mess?" Naruto remarked and hastily pushed a heavy-looking volume of Berserk number two down on the floor. He'd already skimmed through that manga and it had rocked his world. However, it didn't mean that it got the right to get in way of his sleep. After he'd pushed the offensive manga off the bed, Naruto climbed into it and sighed contently.

"Oh yes, this is good, better than good," Naruto said, grinning broadly when he felt the warmth of the blankets rising from his toes to the rest of his body. He'd be engulfed by it soon, and then everything would be all right.

And with the comforting heat and warmth crawling over his body, Naruto lost himself into the reassuring lull of sleep.

...

"Don't you think we should wake him up?" Minato asked after he'd peeped into his son's bedroom.

A worried expression graced his features and he frowned even further when thinking of how Naruto would end up missing school. While Naruto wasn't in immediate danger of flunking any of his classes, Minato had been told that his boy was a little too fond of skipping classes. Perhaps, it was time to change a few things around here.

"Nah, it doesn't matter," Kakashi said, "Even if you did wake him, he'd fall asleep again. You know how he is."

Kakashi threw a quick look at the sleeping Naruto, observing how the boy lay sprawled out on his stomach and snored – not so quietly. There was drool coming out of his mouth and he was snoring loudly. Naruto's calloused hands scratched his naked expanse of torso, which his half-ridden up shirt revealed.

"Sometimes, I believe I'm too soft. It's not good if I always let him have his way. I mean kids should have discipline, shouldn't they?"

Kakashi's left eye widened at the word "discipline". In his opinion, that word had only one use and it involved chains, a lot of whipping and leather straps; he also wasn't against handcuffs. Kakashi grinned when he imagined candle wax pouring down his-

"Are you listening to me, Kakashi?"

Kakashi immediately snapped out of it. Damn, he'd been reading too many of these books again. Then again, he couldn't help it. Minato was just way too much of a dirty talker.

"You keep forgetting that Naruto's not exactly a kid anymore. It's a bit late to start disciplining him now, don't you think?" he asked, though he didn't expect any kind of answer really. "But I'm not against a little bit of discipline in other places – like in the bedroom."

While saying this, he'd edged closer to Minato and had – not so subtly – started trailing his hands downwards, until he'd reached the other's belt. He licked the older man's face and drew back with a smirk when he noticed Minato's reddened cheeks and the unmistakable glint of lust in his eyes. It was utterly endearing.

"That isn't appropriate, right now!" Minato finally stammered out, pushing Kakashi away with unnecessary force. He wiped his forehead and gave the other man an indignant glare as he made his slow way towards the hall. "I don't know why you're always talking about sex when I want to have to a serious discussion with you. This isn't the time to talk about about ... you know what I mean. Naruto doesn't need to hear us talking about _that._"

Although Minato had said that quite firmly and his face was expressionless, a certain something – maybe a hint of playfulness in his tone – betrayed him.

"Whatever you say... but as for Naruto, just leave him be."

"What if he-?"

"Minato, he won't come to any harm. He's tired, angry and confused. Besides, it's not like he'll get away with this scot-free. The Uchiha boy will probably give him hell for this anyway."

Minato let out a sigh of relief at this. "I forget that Sasuke always comes over when Naruto skips school."

"Yeah, so there's nothing to be worried about. Come on, or we'll be late."

He then sauntered towards the hall himself and watched Minato putting on his orange jacket. He shook his head at that.

"What?"

"You're really Naruto's father, that's all. I'll be going out later, if you don't mind. I don't think that my lessons start in another two hours."

Minato's eyebrows rose at that. "Emm... all of the teacher's lessons start at eight."

"Mah... I know, but I don't feel like going out now. Tell them that I've got the stomach flu or something."

"Ka- forget it. It's not like you'll change your mind."

...

Naruto had never slept better. Not only did he dream of ramen, but he dreamt of being rich and successful. He was so stinking rich that he swam in a sea of golden coins, like good old Uncle Scrooge did.

So it was more than disconcerting when the tong-ting-tong of the bell ringing and door-banging woke him; it was enough to make him jump out of bed in fright. And, groan out in heart-breaking disappointment: the limousine had really been cool.

Damn," he yelled out when the sole of his foot stepped on something hard and cold. He'd managed to step on a pen.

"Fuck this," he said angrily and tossed the pen on his desk. Naruto swore that he could hear Sasuke's voice in his head, berating him for his messiness. Well, maybe he did have a point. Sort of.

Naruto let out another string of colourful curses when he tripped over the Berserk manga he'd tossed off the bed a few hours before.

In the midst of all this chaos, the bell hadn't stopped ringing – it rang on and on, as if shot out of a cannon.

"Okay, okay," he spat out, hastily running out of his room to answer the furious bell-ringing, banging and tapping against the door. Naruto had no desire to listen to the noise anymore. Better to get rid of the unwanted visitor at once and then go back to bed

Of course, the door revealed no one other than a disgruntled and sour-looking Sasuke who was impatiently tapping his right foot against the linoleum floor of the outdoor hall. Naruto gulped and scratched his head.

He really should have known better.

"Sasuke? What a nice surprise, come in," he said in a grumpy tone, not bothering to pretend that he was glad. Sasuke gave him a dirty look.

"Oh shut up," Sasuke returned in an angry tone and waltzed in, immediately getting out of his black, wet-looking jacket. "You had me ringing on the doorbell for the past twenty minutes. You really do sleep like a rock."

Naruto was about to disagree, seeing that Sasuke was the one who slept like a rock, but he decided not to. What was the point of it, anyway?

Instead, he walked right back into his room and sat down on his bed again. Sasuke, after he'd taken off his shoes and placed them in shoe rack next to the door, followed Naruto's steps.

"So, let me guess, you're gonna lecture me again?? On how it's wrong to not go to school and all that shit," Naruto said with a dismissing wave of his hand and a roll of his eyes.

"No, I don't see the use of it. Since it never seem to work on you," Sasuke said, shrugging his shoulders. He had sat down on the bed and was currently eyeing the mess in Naruto's room with evident disgust. "Though I really feel the need to bash your head in for letting me stand in the rain like that."

"Huh?" Naruto asked, not getting what Sasuke was aiming at. He looked at Sasuke and noticed that he looked even angrier now. Sasuke shook his head and let out an indignant snort.

The presentation, remember? We were supposed to have the presentation in chemistry today."

Immediately, Naruto felt like plunging head first into a broiling volcano. This explained Sasuke's grim and furious disposition.

"Oh no. Shit, I – fuck, I didn't realise-" Naruto said quickly, but stopped. Words wouldn't help. Oh damn, damn ... he'd really screwed up big time.

"Don't tell me he failed us?" he asked, hoping that Sasuke wouldn't answer with a "yes".

Sasuke took a deep breath. Now, he felt he could – should even – stretch this out and torture Naruot a bit, maybe even make him freak out. But then, while he pondered over this, Sasuke's shoulders slumped and his formerly stiff posture relaxed itself. No, he thought, this wasn't the right way. Besides, he wasn't a sadist.

"No, I told the teacher that you'd unexpectedly fallen ill. So, we'll able to do it next week," Sasuke replied, looking Naruto into the eyes while he uttered this sentence. He smiled slightly when he observed how Naruto's face lighted up at the news.

"Whoo. That's good."

Sasuke snorted again.

"Hn. You're still an ass, though."

"I'm sorry – I really didn't ... you know that I didn't do this on purpose. Sometimes, I'm just an idiot. Well, to be honest, I'm an idiot most of the time."

Sasuke chortled. "It's nice to see that you're honest to yourself. Say, what was it this time?"

"I was piss-tired and Kakashi made me even more tired by talking crazy stuff."

"Crazy stuffy? What kind of crazy stuff?" Sasuke asked, frowning. He cast a curious glance into Naruto's direction and was surprised when he didn't receive an answer to his question.

Naruto rose from the bed abruptly, startling Sasuke and, walked over to his drawer, pulling out a pair of jeans. "Just crazy stuff. Nothing you should break your brains over."

"It must have been pretty crazy to have made you behave like that."

Sasuke had never seen Naruto that frantic and disturbed before; he wasn't only pulling and putting back in clothes after clothes, but shivering as well.

"Exactly. And that's why I don't want to talk about it. Cause talking about would make me think about it all over again."

Sasuke nodded, and lay down on the bed, liking how soft and warm Naruto's bed was.

"Hey, you're not thinking to doze off right now?"

"What if I did? I'm tired as well."

Naruto didn't reply to that, and Sasuke didn't think much of that. He closed his eyes.

"Sasuke, do you think I'm strange?"

"Hmm? In what way?"

Naruto paused. "I don't know...do you think it's ... I don't know how to say it, but – er-- do you think it's odd I haven't done it with Sakura yet?"

Sasuke's eyes snapped open at that and immediately sat up on the bed again.

"What?"

"You heard me."

There was no way in hell he'd repeat that question again. Sasuke wasn't deaf nor a moron.

Sasuke shook his head. "Why are you asking me that?"

"You're my best friend. If anyone on this crappy planet knows me, then it's you."

Sasuke thought he'd stopped breathing for a moment. He let himself fall on Naruto's bed again and thought for a few moments.

"Sasuke?"

At that, Sasuke sat up again and looked up at Naruto. He seemed troubled.

"No, I don't think you're strange for not – you know. I mean, you're strange in other ways, but not that."

"In what kind of ways am I strange?" Naruto inquired further, and Sasuke smirked.

"What do you want a love confession or something?"

Naruto snorted. "No, you freak. That would be batshit insan-"

Naruto stopped. He'd seen it – a crestfallen look and a flash of pain lighting up in Sasuke's eyes. And what else, he noticed how Sasuke's body had stiffened, how the boy was nibbling against his lower lips nervously and seemed to have been poured over with cold water. Or something of the sort. Naruto couldn't claim to be all that adept with metaphors.

He only knew that, for a sheer second, Sasuke's carefully constructed mask had slipped and revealed pain. And he didn't know why. Or better said, he didn't want to know.

Naruto swore that his heart had starting to beat faster, and cold sweat broke all over his skin. _Fuck, _what was this? Naruto trembled and felt like being sick. He just didn't know why.

And his confusion didn't pass by unnoticed. Sasuke, though he was still caught up in his own mortification, could tell that something was dead wrong. Naruto was looked pale and was way too quiet.

"Naruto? What is the matter?"

"Forget it. I'm sorry for asking stupid questions. I guess I've slept for too long."

Naruto walked back to his drawer and grabbed the first sweater and pair of jeans he could he find. He felt dizzy and strange. It had to be the sleep, or the lack of breakfast. Whatever it was, Naruto knew that if he stayed a minute longer in this blasted room with Sasuke, there would be severe consequences. And Naruto didn't want to suffer from any repercussions.

"I'll go take a shower. You can take a nap, if you want."

...

The bar was noisy and crowded. A smell of alcohol and nicotine permeated in the atmosphere. It was a pretty big bar, built in the style of a large space ship, hence it was equipped with silver-coloured chairs, tables and the walls were painted in glittering, eye-scarring metal-grey.

Naruto had come here because Kiba, his mutt-loving idiot of a friend, had said this was the best spot in town. And he'd dragged Shikamaru and Chouji along as well.

"So, how do you like it?" Kiba drawled out lazily, pulling out a drag from his cigarette. It would have looked cool, if he hadn't ended up coughing a minute later. Naruto felt the need to comment on this, if only because he couldn't stand the cigarette smell assaulting his own nose too much.

"Cut out the smoking, idiot. It's stupid," Naruto said, coughing when another gust of smoke attacked him.

"Damn, I'm doing this to look attractive. To older women," Kiba stated in his defence. "It's not my fault you're a fucking wuss. Just deal with it."

Naruto felt like giving Kiba a kick on the head. "It doesn't do anything but make you look like an utter moron. The only people I've seen it pull off well are ... well, Asuma and James Dean. You're neither."

"Besides," Shikamaru, who'd been watching the entire conversation with annoyance marring his otherwise placid features, added," It's only going to kill you. And that's rather -"

"Troublesome," Kiba finished for him, and yawned. "You always say that."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and went back to doing what he'd been doing all evening: staring off into space. Naruto really didn't get why he'd come here in the first place.

"My father says that the only good drug is food," Chouji threw in and smiled,"It's good for the body and soul."

"Maybe be a little too good for you, Chouji. You're quite the -"

Naruto slapped a hand over Kiba's mouth who protested loudly.

"Don't, moron. You know how he reacts to being called that," he whispered into Kiba's ear. Afterwards, Naruto removed his hand from Kiba's mouth.

"You're awfully moody today...didn't get laid enough?" Kiba asked, eyeing Naruto in what could only be referred to as annoyance.

Naruto didn't have the grace to answer. He simply looked away.

"Oh, I forget that you're still a vir-"

"Shut up, okay!"

"Why? It's true. You are. And from the looks of it, it doesn't look like you'll ever lose it."

"Inuzuka, shut the fuck up and talk about things you know, not just what you think."

Kiba didn't shut up, of course.

"But the problem is that you're too shy around Sakura. Come on, I've seen you together. You don't even hold hands in public."

"That's way too lovely-doey."

Naruto felt like punching Kiba right now. He clenched his fist, felt his jaw hardenand was about to rise when Chouji's voice interrupted them.

"Kiba, Naruto... come on stop arguing."

But neither Kiba or Naruto stopped.

"No, we're just comfortable around each other. We don't need to make out every fifty seconds to prove something. I mean – sex isn't the only thing you can do with a girl," Naruto said and felt like hitting something. First Kakashi, now Kiba. What the hell was the matter with everyone today?

"I didn't say that. But I just think you're a bit ... don't be offended, man – strange. Any other guy would be begging Haruno to finally have some sort of sex."

"I'm not strange! Sasuke said that I'm nor-"

Kiba hmphed and interrupted Naruto.

"Sasuke's either an erudite or fucking asexual. He didn't even show up tonight."

Well, that was right, but Naruto didn't see how this counted as evidence for Sasuke not being right.

"Neither did Shino. And didn't you mean 'eunuch'? If you meant that, I can assure you that Sasuke's perfectly normal."

Kiba muttered under something his breath, but it didn't stop him from talking. Then again, Naruto believed nothing would ever get Kiba to shut up.

"He's got a girlfriend. They went to a bug museum together or something. Point is that Sasuke's got the sex drive of a rock. He's probably never even had a hard on. And if ever did, it probably involved his bro-"

That did it; it was the final straw. Naruto wasn't going to just sit there and listen to how Kiba accused his best friend of being incestuous.

Naruto slammed his fist down on the table. "Look, I don't fucking care what you say about me, Kiba. I could really care less. But I won't allow you to drag Sasuke's name into the dirt. Or Sakura's. Got it?"

Kiba remained silent, and only stared up at Naruto's furious face. He looked sorry, but Naruto didn't care.

"I'm leaving. See you later."

Naruto walked out of the bar, feeling that he'd crack someone's bones otherwise. Preferably Kiba's. He didn't need this crap, not after all he'd been through with Kakashi in the morning. One idiot pestering him was enough.

Naruto was about to turn the corner, when he heard someone running after him.

"Shikamaru? What is it?"

"You left your coat hanging from the chair. Here," Shikamaru said, tossing the aforementioned orange coat at him. Naruto caught it quickly and gave him a brief nod of thanks. But Shikamaru wasn't leaving yet.

"Is there something else?"

"Forgive Kiba for that crap. He's a bit drunk, and we've known him long enough to know that he's all talk, at times. You know that Chouji and me don't really think the way he does."

"I know. Shikamaru, I'm not angry at him. It's just that I've been hearing too much of this nonsense lately. Why's everyone so obsessed about getting laid anyway?"

"It's the idiocy of our generation, I guess," Shikamru replied with a shrug of his shoulders. He looked up at the starless sky and seemed to be losing himself in his own world again. Whatever it was. Naruto had given up trying to understand Shikamaru a long time ago.

Anyhow, Naruto knew that the other boy had nothing else to say.

"Maybe. I'll get going now. I have to meet up with Sakura and I'm a bit late already. The discussion got way too heated and I got carried away. But it doesn't mean anything."

Of course, Naruto was fully resolved to make Kiba pay for it. He'd tell Hinata a few interesting things about her boyfriend; he was fairly certain that she'd appreciate knowing that Kiba was on the look-out for older women.

"Okay. I'll tell Kiba that. So, he won't worry. You know that he likes you."

"I know."

Naruto put his coat on and pulled out his mobile phone. He cursed when he noticed how late it was. He had to get going.

"Naruto?"

"Yes?"

"You shouldn't worry too much about the sex thing. It's not strange to wait, you know? Sometimes, it's better to figure things out first... Besides, sex is way too troublesome, anyway."

Well, he'd been wrong. Apparently, Shikamaru was more talkative than usual today.

Naruto clapped Shikamaru good-naturedly on the shoulder and uttered a quick "Thank you" before leaving.

...

It was cool that night, cooler than the nights before. Winter was coming on fast, and soon that leaves would wither to nothingness and the cold chill spread itself over the country.

Sakura shivered in her thin woollen pullover and cursed herself for not having dressed warmer. Sometimes, it seemed, that her judgement failed her and as she looked up at the naked trees and drying leaves hovering above her, Sakura felt like slamming her head against a brick wall.

She was going to freeze to death or at least come down with a nasty cold.

Worst of all, Naruto still wasn't here. He should have been here some ten minutes ago, but for some reason, he just wasn't coming.

"Shit," Sakura whispered when she was disappointed yet again.

Sakura was about to dial Naruto's phone number, when she heard the shuffling of sneakers and the sound of panted breathing. It was Naruto, face-flushed from running. His hair was all in disarray and Sakura noted with amusement how his coat wasn't zipped, but opened, revealing a baggy indigo sweater underneath it.

Naruto gave Sakura a quick peck on the lips before he started talking.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. I got held back by Kiba. We got in a stupid argument."

"Hey, don't worry. Want to share?" Sakura replied, feeling that she couldn't be too angry. Naruto looked genuinely sorry. If he hadn't been, she would have definitely have given him a piece of her mind.

"No... it's not worth repeating. Hey, you're shivering..."

"Ah, it's just the nerves-"

Naruto looked at her oddly. And Sakura mentally berated herself – she really was a bad liar. However, she didn't need Naruto worrying about her needlessly. She could take care of herself; she wasn't one of these stupid, weak girls who cried because of every single thing.

"No, you're cold. Here you can take my coat," Naruto insisted, taking his coat off and offering it to Sakura who shook her head.

"And what about you?"

Naruto grinned.

"I'll be fine; the cold doesn't affect me much."

But Sakura didn't buy it. Because right after he'd said that, Naruto sneezed loudly.

Men were really show-offs.

"No I can't. I won't be having you act like a gentleman now, only to have you catch a cold or some other crap later."

"Sakura-"

"No, it's final."

She threw the coat at him and showed him her fist, threatening to beat Naruto up in the street if he dared say one more word. And that wouldn't be nice, she reasoned, especially because people would stare at them oddly. Not that she cared, but Naruto's stupid male ego might.

Naruto tried one more time. He wouldn't have his girlfriend shivering and clattering her teeth, if he could do something about it. Why did she have to be that fucking stubborn? Sometimes, he swore that Sakura was even worse than Sasuke, which was quite a feat. Because Sasuke was the very epitome of stubbornness.

"And what about you then? You'll just be cold until we reach the café?"

Sakura smirked as a pretty fabulous idea popped into her mind.

"I guess... Wait, I have it! Come closer to me, Naruto."

"Eh?"

"Just do it," Sakura snapped. "Don't behave like such a baby. I won't rape you."

"I don't think you could-"

Naruto stopped when she wrapped her small, thin arm around his own; she'd dived under his coat. He could feel her standing close to him, and could smell the perfume of her shampoo and feel the soft strands of her hair brushing against his neck.

"Shut up and wrap your arm around mine," Sakura commanded and smiled when Naruto did as she ordered. "See, now I'm warmer."

"You're awfully daring, Sakura-chan. And way too -"

"Hold your tongue, Naruto. We're dating. It's not unusual for couples to walk like this, is it?"

"No. I just .. well, eh I like it," Naruto admitted, blushing beet red when he'd finished. He looked away from Sakura, but it was too late. She could see that his ears were red.

Sakura giggled, though a part of her thought it was unnecessary girlish and immature. Then again, there was no need for her to be serious all the time.

"What?" Naruto asked in a somewhat exasperated tone. He didn't get all this giggling and the other behaviour. Girls were strange and Sakura-chan was no exception.

Sakura smiled. "I think it's cute how shy you're about this. I wouldn't have expected it."

"Why? Because I read stuff like Icha Icha Cum Cum?"

"Maybe. And because you're a loud-mouthed, brass and moronic guy at times."

"How nice. Sasuke more or less said the same," Naruto retorted, grinning at that. He had to admit that both Sasuke and Sakura-chan were impossible. Then again, he wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Hmm, he knows you even better than I do."

Naruto frowned at that.

"That's not true. You've known me as long as he has. We played together as kids, remember?"

"Yeah, we did. But-" Sakura started, but stopped in mid-sentence. She was biting her lip in a nervous manner and seemed to hesitate for no reason.

"What? Go on," Naruto urged her, wanting to know what troubled Sakura-chan. There was no need for her to beat around the bush!

"I always felt like a third wheel to you and Sasuke. It was like you two were this perfect, indestructible pair and I was just the tag-along."

"That wasn't true. You know that," Naruto said and looking at Sakura's troubled expression, he continued,"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Sakura, God, you were the one thing that kept – keeps – me and Sasuke from driving each other crazy."

"It could be."

But she still didn't look convinced.

"No, it's like that. And you know that I've liked you from the beginning. Sasuke cares about you as well; he's just a jerk when it comes to showing his feelings."

"So, he doesn't hate me? He's no longer angry at me?"

"No, I don't think so. He's just angry that – I guess he's jealous that I've been spending some time with you, instead of bothering him. He's just that kind of idiot."

"I hope he'll grow used to this. I don't want Sasuke hating me. I can't stand the thought of making anyone unhappy."

Naruto stopped walking at that.

He frowned, thinking of how upset and unusually quiet Sasuke had been after he'd stepped out of the shower. He'd been morose and left Naruto's apartment much earlier than he usually did. And now Sakura-chan was rubbing more salt into the wound, so to speak.

"By being with you, I'm taking his best friend away. I'm making him feel like a third wheel, ... don't you think?"

Naruto cringed involuntarily. Somehow Sakura could be right, but he preferred not to think about it any further.

"Nah. Stop thinking about that."

"Sorry. I guess these philosophical books got to me.

"Why do you ever read these books?

"They're interesting. Besides, you know that I suffer from insom- eh, sleeplessness."

"You should just watch TV or something. I always do that. ... Hmm, Sasuke's lucky; he falls asleep quickly and once he's asleep he sleeps through everything like a log."

"I know," Sakura retorted, thinking back to the times when they'd spent the night outdoors .

Naruto started to walk again and picked up the pace again. He liked this: this simple act of walking with Sakura-chan was nice. He was pretty sure that every guy who looked at them was envious of him. After all, Sakura-chan was a pretty girl. Very pretty, in fact.

Sakura's hands curled tighter around Naruto's arm; she looked down at the ground and bit her lips, struggling with her conflicting thoughts. She'd meant to ask sooner, but the words just wouldn't come out.

I'll kill Ino, if this doesn't work, Sakura thought and stopped Naruto as they neared around the corner. It was now or never.

"Speaking of sleepovers, my parents won't be at home during the next weekend," Sakura said as quickly as she could. She hoped it hadn't been too quick or she'd be forced to say it again. Which wasn't desirable at all.

"I see- wait, _what?"_

Naruto fixed Sakura with a glare and halted in his steps. Had she just said what he thought she'd said? If so, Naruto's brain connected quickly, it meant that she was implying the big three-letter word.

Which meant...

Naruto started to cough, and felt his cheeks reddening, in spite of himself. He couldn't even bring himself to say anything else. His throat had gone dry.

"As I told you, they won't be at home. Which means that," Sakura paused a bit, taking a deep breath before continuing," you could come over and spend the night, if ... that's what you want."

Sakura swallowed and looked at anything but Naruto. He wasn't looking at her either, but trying to catch his breath.

"Wow...that's a bit unexpected. I thought we'd agreed on not – well, I don't know what to say."

"Don't you want to?" Sakura asked, looking up at Naruto's face. "I mean, we don't have to. Maybe it was stupid of me to even-"

She clenched her fists and rolled her eyes. Sakura would have kicked something, but there was nothing to kick.

Damn Ino, she'd make sure to teach her a lesson or two the next time they met. Guys like straightforward girls my ass, Sakura cursed internally. She should have known better.

But then Naruto's hand tightened around her own; the warmth of his hand soothed her.

"No, that's not it. Sakura-chan. That's not! I'm just a bit speechless. Doesn't mean I don't want to."

Naruto smiled after he'd finished; it wasn't his usual cocky, wide smile, but – what touched Sakura immensely – a genuine, nearly timid smile. She again felt surprised how the usually so assertive Naruto could be that shy around her.

Strangely, his shyness made it easier for Sakura to speak again.

"Then, ... we've got a date?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

They didn't drop any more words on that subject, as they entered into the café. Everything that needed to be said, had been said already.

...

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **A lot of thanks goes to** Out of Sheol **for bet'ing this. All remaining errors you might find are mine, and mine alone.

**...**

The days until the "next weekend" seemed to pass by languidly. Naruto was tempted to say that this much agonised over "next weekend" might never happen. And gradually, Naruto hoped it never would.

The transition from night to day stretched on painfully, and it was as if the engines of Time had come to a standstill; so slowly and monotonous everything seemed to be going by lately.

Well, _damn._

Naruto was growing tired. Even thinking about the event made him chew on his lips, which was a habit he rarely – if ever – indulged in. He was currently sprawled out on his bed, staring holes into the wall. There wasn't anything else he could do.

He'd finished his homework a good hour ago and, for the first time in months, didn't feel like going to Sasuke's. No, instead he just wanted to stare holes in the wall, even though it neither comforted nor did anything else for him.

Instead, it just brought that weekend closer to his mind, until his head ached again. His head hurt a lot these days; it must have been all the thinking he'd been doing.

Sasuke would have laughed at that. Or he'd have sent Naruto to a ward for the mentally challenged.

A good kick in the groin, which always attracted a man's attention and brought him back to the reality of things, might have worked as well.

All necessary preparations had been made: he'd bought the condoms, watched more porn than usual and tried to reconcile himself with the fact that was going to be a "real man" very soon. And yet, Naruto found himself – in some way – not really looking forward to it as he should have.

He tried it again. Once again, Naruto tried to think of what would happen on that day when he'd be alone with her. He could see her quite clearly: she'd wear more make-up than usual. Not heavy make-up because Sakura-chan was a natural type; she preferred to keep things subtle. However, on that particular day, he was sure that she would put on more eye-liner, probably use rouge and lip-gloss. She'd wear something casual and seductive-looking at the same time – a dress that would do homage to her well-built, athletic and yet fragile build.

Naruto could imagine all that, and he could nearly sense how much he'd be awed at the sight, how beautiful he'd think her. Sakura wouldn't be shy, but she wouldn't be overly bold either. He'd feel his heartbeat fastening, palms sweating and body shudder, and she'd feel the same way, probably.

Then, they'd kiss at some point or the other. He'd kiss her gently, let his hands wander to her short hair and he'd slowly glide his hand underneath her shirt...

At that, Naruto stopped. It hadn't worked. He'd used all his imaginative powers, but it didn't do anything for him. It only made him feel more confused.

To put it quite frank, Naruto wasn't as sexually stimulated as it would have been expected of a boy his age to be. Then again, screw the expectations. There was nothing wrong with him.

But it was still a problem. He was dating Sakura after all, and sooner or later, they'd be expected to consummate their relationship.

He hadn't talked to Sasuke about his problem. In fact, Sasuke didn't know anything, which was odd. Up to this point, Naruto had confided everything to Sasuke, even the oddest trifles.

But this time, he just couldn't. Sasuke, for all his intelligence, just couldn't give him an answer to this problem. Besides, Naruto thought, when he rolled on to his stomach, everything he asked him lately seemed to hurt Sasuke for some reason.

Especially when it involved Sakura. The very mention of her name seemed to seep and burn into Sasuke's skin like poison. His face would turn ugly and he'd press his lips more tightly against one other; his body would stiffen and Naruto would be forced to stop talking about it.

Of course, Sasuke had never been very kind to her. He'd always treated her indifferently, but underneath the indifference, there had been – as sublime and suppressed as it had been – caring. But that had been ages ago, back when Sakura had still crushed on Sasuke. She'd changed since those days, and Naruto admired her for that.

Naruto was pretty sure that, if he hadn't started dating her, Sakura and Sasuke would have gotten along with each other more than just tolerably well.

Naruto hated that he'd been the one to cause this rift between his friends. He hadn't wanted that. He'd only wanted to be happy; Naruto had wanted the three of them to be happy, the way they'd been as children.

However, it seemed that getting involved with Sakura-chan only brought about what he'd been fearing so much. The gap between them was widening, and one day they might fall apart.

Naruto didn't want it to, but he couldn't change the fact that Sasuke was starting to hate Sakura.

And in some ways, he felt this was only the beginning.

.....

Naruto walked into the kitchen, feeling thirstier than he'd been in ages. His throat was dry, and longing for the coolness of water. Perhaps, Naruto thought, his doctor was right. He really should drink more. Then again, he just never got around it.

He was hardly surprised when he noticed Kakashi sitting in the kitchen, as always situated on his favourite rickety chair with his mask on, and leafing through some book of questionable nature. Some things never changed and this was one of them. Naruto could have been sixty-eight years old and he'd probably still find the spectre of Kakashi reading a porn book in his kitchen.

"So, what's on your mind?" Kakashi stated out of nowhere. However, that was his way and Naruto wasn't startled by that either. He'd have been startled if Kakashi had started dancing around in a leotard, not this.

"Nothing. I just came to drink something," Naruto replied, not looking at Kakashi while he rubbed his forehead. His headache was still bad, and the light bulb flickering above his head was giving off too much light. It made his eyes hurt. "Don't bother yourself about me, Kakashi, just go on reading or whatever else it is you're doing."

After Naruto had said that, he set forth to grab a glass out of a cupboard, walked over to the sink, opened the water tap and filled up his glass. For a long moment, the only sound in the kitchen was the _drip drip drip _and brief _whoosh_ when Naruto had closed the water tap again.

"Hmm, I think that's not quite right. You're worried about something."

Naruto didn't reply to that either, but used the intervening time to place the glass on the table, sit down on a chair and bury his head between his elbows. He was so damn tired.

"Kakashi... I need to ask you something," Naruto said, hoping that Kakashi wouldn't notice him shaking. Or that he'd not pick up on the tremulous tone in his voice.

"What? I'm all ears," Kakashi said, though he didn't halt in reading his book for a sheer second.

"Is it wrong..." Naruto paused, not sure how to get the next words. Up to now he'd hadn't even admitted them to himself. He nibbled on his lower lip before finally getting the rest of the sentence out, "Ermm, is it wrong ... not to want to sleep with your girlfriend?"

There he'd done it. Naruto felt a prickle of relief run down his spine. He should have felt the bile coming to his throat, felt utterly down, but instead, Naruto only thought that some kind of heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Depends on the circumstances," Kakashi said in his usual no-nonsense manner. Naruto admired how much at ease the man was. You'd have expected anyone else to be at least uncomfortable with the question, but not so with Kakashi. He threw a quick, ruthlessly analytical glance at Naruto and nodded to himself. He nodded in a way that made Naruto think that he wasn't surprised at all.

"What do you mean?" Naruto demanded, not understanding what the man was getting at.

"Well, you don't want to because you're nervous, insecure, not ready or because you're not attracted to her in that way?"

Naruto went through that list of options. He hadn't even taken a sip from his glass yet, but his fingers danced on the tip of the rim while his mind was thus occupied. Finally, Naruto could only say:

"I don't know- I've... I just don't know."

Kakashi only shrugged his shoulders. He didn't look surprised at all. But then again, when was Kakashi ever surprised by anything?

"Well, then. You should figure it out."

Naruto felt like slapping himself. Maybe talking to Kakashi about this had been a mistake. He'd been trying to figure out things for the past six months. Or he should have been.

"By sleeping with her?" Naruto demanded, feeling that this wouldn't help things at all. By then, things would only become messier and more complicated. He wasn't that much of a fool. He'd seen what sex had and could do to relationships. Too many friendships had fallen apart in his school because the people had slept with each other for the wrong reasons. If he could avoid it, he'd very well avoid falling into that trap.

"Not necessarily," Kakashi answered, as if he'd been reading Naruto's thoughts. Then again, in all fairness, Naruto knew that he wasn't hard to read – he was like an open book.

"What is there else? I mean... forget it," Naruto started, but his wits failed him. How did you actually go about deciding whether you liked someone enough to sleep with them or not?

"I don't think it's as difficult as you make it out to be, Naruto," Kakashi started, throwing an amused glance at the boy, "But then again, I think teenagers tend to make everything overly more complex by over-thinking stuff."

Naruto let out a frustrated groan. He hadn't understood a thing Kakashi had said right now. Or, at least, he wasn't sure what he meant.

"Kakashi, as much I appreciate your philosophical thoughts, I don't see how this can help me in any way. I need ..."

"Facts? I can't give you these. I can only tell you to sit down on your precious behind and to re-evaluate your relationships. Think about Sakura, and what you feel for her. If you love her-"

"But I do love her!" Naruto insisted vehemently. He'd risen from his seat and was shaking his head, looked nearly dangerous.

Kakashi urged him to sit down again. Kids, he thought, are way too impatient these days. He was glad that he was such a quiet person because anyone with less patience would have just knocked Naruto into the nearest wall, hypothetically speaking.

"Let me finish. Maybe you just don't love her that _way._"

"I don't get you," Naruto snapped, crossing his arms indignantly. His eyes were furious, and looked at Kakashi with badly suppressed rage; he was only waiting for the signal to snap.

"Oh boy, that explains a few things. You know, you'd feel much less confused, if you actually used your brains more often. I'm just saying that there's a difference between loving someone as a friend and being in love with someone."

"I know that," Naruto said, rolling his eyes. Of course, there was a difference. He knew that he wasn't interested in doing anything with his father or Kakashi, for that matter. Naruto turned green at that thought.

"Do you, really?"

Kakashi was still going through the book, but Naruto could tell that he wasn't concentrated on the pages anymore. Kakashi just couldn't ever seem to look someone in the eyes, unless he really considered it to be necessary.

"Sakura-chan is intelligent, pretty and nice. When I'm with her, I feel comfortable, safe and loved. She makes me feel less lonely."

"And you think that is being in love?"

"Yes," Naruto said in a firm voice, though he really didn't feel firm at all. His knees were shaking, and his hands were sweating.

"... Well," Kakashi answered simply, shrugging his shoulders. He sounded resigned, as if Naruto were a lost cause.

"What do you mean 'well'? I thought you'd advise me!" Naruto exclaimed, nearly leaping up out of his seat again. The glass of water lay untouched in front of him. Naruto's throat felt dry, but his growing confusion was worse.

"I'm trying, but I'm not sure I can. It's something you have to experience for yourself."

Kakashi had wanted to add "you're just too dense, moron", but refrained from that. Minato had told him that sometimes it was better not to come out with the entire truth.

"Try."

"Good, I'll give it my best shot," Kakashi said. For a while, he was silent; he closed the book with a loud bang and just sat there, rubbing his masked chin.

"When I first met your father, I thought he was an insufferable idiot. Always going on and on about teamwork, the importance of relying on others and not doing your own thing."

"And?"

"But then, when I'd finally come to see him as what he was, I grew to admire him. He was someone to look up to and influence my own destiny, so to speak. I became a teacher because of your father."

Naruto yawned. He was a little too old for fairy tales.

"I still don't under-"

"Let me finish."

But Kakashi never finished because just as he was about to open his mouth, Minato strolled in, startling both his son and lover in the wake of his appearance. Or better said, it only startled Naruto who sat up at the instant he heard his father's voice. Kakashi simply sat there and went back to reading his book.

Minato, who'd obviously returned from some sort of meeting, walked over to the two of them. Naruto started to shift uncomfortably on his seat.

"So what are you talking that animatedly about?" Minato asked, in his usual good-natured way; he was smiling, and it was hard to believe that he was in his late-thirties. In the years Kakashi had known him, Minato only grew more dazzling with his years.

"Nothing, Dad," Naruto said and without further ado, stood up from his seat. He smiled briefly when his father ruffled his hair, but that wasn't enough to make him stay. As soon as Minato's attention was focused on Kakashi, Naruto used the opportunity to leave. Nothing would have induced him to stay a minute longer.

"How much did you hear?" Kakashi asked, looking after Naruto's retreating figure with evident amusement.

"Enough to know why I'm with you."

"You know that every word is true," Kakashi stated simply and leaned back, obviously enjoying the other man's presence.

"I wonder why he always runs away from me," Minato said, frowning." I'm jealous that he only talks to you."

"You know how much he loves you. He's just afraid of making you worried needlessly," Kakashi reassured Minato. "Besides, you have nothing to be jealous about. Naruto can be a very aggravating and annoying boy."

He smirked at that. Kakashi didn't need to say that he liked Naruto because of that. Or that, for all the little complaining he did, he actually enjoyed Naruto confiding in him.

"Ah, I know that. Just like his mother. But then again, that's why I loved her," Minato admitted, and his face grew thoughtful. Then a smile graced his features as he lost himself in memories of the woman who'd once been a part of his life.

"I know."

Kakashi's voice wasn't accusatory in the least. Nor did a pang of jealousy form in his heart. They were long past that. He stopped reading his book and looked up at Minato. He took his mask off, revealing a handsome face that was only marred by huge scar running down his forehead to the right eye. But, upon second sight, the scar didn't do anything to his handsomeness. In fact, it made him look sexy. Once again, Minato wished that Kakashi would quit wearing the mask; it hid too much of his good looks.

However, at the same time, he realised that the mask added to the suspense. It made Kakashi the sexy and mysterious figure he was. The mask was much a part of Kakashi as the porn books he read.

"I'm sure she's happy knowing that Naruto is in such good hands."

.....

Naruto walked into his bedroom, feeling lousier than he had before: his headache had increased and his skull was throbbing with maddening pain. He groaned and halted for a bit, feeling he'd faint if he didn't rest for a bit. All the pacing around his room hadn't done him any more good.

"Shit," Naruto muttered out and kicked a random book on the floor. Then, he plopped down on his bed and, nearly gnarling, fell to cursing everything and everyone on this damned universe. He wouldn't stop cursing until his problem just disappeared.

He'd gotten nothing out of his talk with Kakashi. He might have, but then they'd been interrupted. There was no way in hell he'd have confided that to his father. Some things just can't be shared with your parents, no matter how well they mean.

Besides, Naruto didn't want Minato to break his brains over his problems. He deserved better than that.

Naruto was resolved to solve it on his own. He'd find a way. He had to!

Naturally, Naruto didn't pause to consider that Kakashi's phrase "sit down on your precious behind and re-evaluate your relationships" might have been the key to his dilemma.

.....

Naruto threw the paper into the dustbin. It should have been his contribution to the presentation, but he just couldn't gather his thoughts. His searing headache was gone, but still his thoughts were a muddled mess. What was worse was Naruto just couldn't get rid off that growing unease that had been making his life hell for the past few days.

Sasuke was seated beside his desk, as per usual. And as per usual, he was typing something in that wonderful computer of his. Sasuke hated computers. As strange as it was, he just couldn't deal with them. At least, he couldn't deal with them beyond computer games or watching cool videos on YouTube. Not every boy was a computer freak. While thinking that, Sasuke felt like snapping Naruto's neck in half. As dumb as he looked, Naruto was great with computers. Provided his laziness didn't get in the way. If he'd been less lazy, he might have helped Sasuke with the formatting of this stupid document. But that wasn't going to happen.

Naruto was incredibly irritating when bored.

"Naruto-" Sasuke started, his voice clipped as if his patience had been tested.

"What?"

"Stop that. If you can't think of something, just stop. Don't bother me with that noise."

Oh please, what had he done again? Sasuke was such a touchy, exasperating person. As if throwing paper into the waste-paper basket was such a big deal! Naruto could have done worse things, like stomping his feet on the ground or singing aloud. That would have been a big deal.

"Sorry, Mr. I'm So Sensitive," Naruto spat out, giving his school bag a good kick.

Sasuke turned around at that. His attention was captured even more when Naruto cursed loudly.

"What's your problem?" he asked, this time trying his best to mask the anger in his own voice.

"Nothing," Naruto said through gritted teeth, and shook his head in that impatient way of his.

Sasuke's eyes rose at that. If it was nothing as Naruto was saying, then why was he that angry? No, Sasuke wasn't a mind-reader, but he could tell and see that Naruto was deeply troubled by something. He'd squeeze it out of him. It really didn't do either of them any good if Naruto was in such a foul mood. Sasuke needed peace, and Naruto just didn't look good when he was angry.

"I don't believe you," Sasuke retorted, challenging Naruto to defy him.

"Fine, don't believe me. Wouldn't be the first time you've done that," Naruto retorted and his voice no longer sounded as unconcerned as before.

Sasuke decided that his homework could wait. He saved what he'd typed, closed the document and switched off his computer. Naruto was more important than the stupid essay they'd been assigned to do that day. With cautious steps, Sasuke moved over to Naruto, who'd been sitting on his bed all the time.

"Just tell me what's the matter. I'm not as mean as I pretend to be, you know?"

Naruto grinned at that. "I know that, Sasuke. I know that – deep down-- you're actually a very good kind of person. Just difficult."

"Hey, don't be that appreciative. Or I'll reconsider helping you. Now, tell me what's bothering you."

Naruto lowered his eyes. He couldn't bear the concern he'd seen flickering in Sasuke's. It made the next words he was going to say so much harder to pronounce.

"Sakura's invited me over to her house."

"Yeah, that's good for you," Sasuke said in response. "But why are you so worried about that? You've met her parents before."

He'd done so as well. It had been a long time ago. He, Naruto and Sakura could not have been older than ten. Back then, his father and mother hadn't been divorced yet. The first tell-tale signs of trouble in paradise had just been starting to reveal themselves, but his parents had still been together.

"Yeah, I have. Nice people. Though her father is a bit crazy. He's always going on and on about his precious daughter'."

"He's just protective of her."

Naruto let out a chuckle at that. Overprotective was a bit of an understatement. Sakura's father was paranoid, not overprotective.

"Yeah. But Sasuke, she didn't invite me over to meet her parents. We're going to be alone ... to do – damn, you know what."

"I don'-"

Sasuke stopped speaking. He froze. A chill spread over his body, starting in his heart and then shooting off into all other directions. He was barely conscious of it, but his knees were trembling and his teeth were clattering.

"Sasuke?"

Naruto's concerned tone and his warm hands brought him back to reality. Sasuke tried to cool himself down, but the contact – Naruto's hands on his – made his chest tighten, and set his heart racing.

"Are you ill?" Naruto asked, he was leaning over Sasuke now, and he touched Sasuke, rubbing his shoulders in a reassuring manner.

"No, I've just been getting little sleep."

Naruto looked into Sasuke's face, noticing – for the first time – that it was the truth. There were dark rings under Sasuke's eyes and he was paler than usual; he looked downright sick.

"Then why don't you sleep more? Better said, why don't you just learn to relax a little? You should let loose once in a while."

Sasuke let out a snort, and clapped Naruto's hand away from his shoulder. That touch was too intense; it made him feel way too electrified.

"By what – getting laid?" Sasuke said, his voice sounding contemptuous.

"No, I didn't mean that, idiot. What I meant is that you join me and the boys once."

"They're idiots," Sasuke said, not hiding the contempt in his voice. Naruto's friends were a bunch of losers, and nothing would ever change his mind on that.

"That's wrong. Kiba is at times, but then he's got a heart of gold underneath that it all. Chouji is a sweetheart, Shikamaru is more loyal than anything and Shino is really cool. I mean, they're not as bad as you think."

Sasuke merely snorted, and haughtily replied: "If you think so. That's your business then."

Naruto felt like driving a sledgehammer through his skill. Or even better, start screaming. Sasuke was driving him insane. _Again. _

"Fuck it then. Just – forget it. You're way too difficult for me, Sasuke."

"Then you don't have to hang out with me, is that it?" Sasuke asked, sounding even angrier than before.

"But I want to hang out with you!" Naruto insisted. What the devil had gotten into Sasuke?

"You don't sound like it," Sasuke said. He wanted to add "You'd rather have Sakura at your side than me", but he didn't. There was no point in making Naruto more furious.

"I'd just like you to be more outgoing. You used to spend time with Sakura-chan in the past-"

"Don't talk of her. Besides, she's got you. She doesn't need me."

"That's not true," Naruto spat out, not believing what he'd just heard, "I need both of you. You and Sakura."

"Well, I don't need her. I don't fucking need her at all. She's just a stupid-"

"Sasuke-" Naruto said in a warning tone, but Sasuke didn't – wouldn't – stop. The knife had pricked his skin too deeply.

"Since she couldn't get me, she's now all over you. I wonder how long it'll take for her to find another guy to sc-"

Naruto's jaw tightened, his hands clenched to fists, he rose from the bed with a loud-snapping sound and his eyes, slanting and boiling with rage, were fixed on Sasuke with a such a fierce intensity that it made the other boy back away.

He knew how dangerous Naruto's temper was. And Sasuke knew if he hadn't been who he was, if he'd been more of a stranger that Naruto would have slammed against the wall, and made him regret ever having been born. The fact that Naruto was so calm now was only because he didn't want to hurt Sasuke.

"I think I better leave now. You've said quite enough."

Naruto didn't wait for Sasuke to say anything. He grabbed his school bag, breathing heavily all the way. His heartbeat was running at wild pulse, his blood was flowing quickly to his veins, but Naruto appeared totally calm and cool on the surface. He must have picked this up from Kakashi.

"No, I've never said enough," Sasuke said to the all-permeating, and all-surrounding silence. He slopped down on the floor, pulled his knees up to chest, and wrapped his arms around them. Afterwards, Sasuke buried his hand between his arms, feeling that this was the only thing that could protect him from the cruel world around him.

The hard wooden edge of the bed was scratching uncomfortably against his back, but it didn't matter at all.

........

Naruto walked away from Sasuke's apartment in angry, fast-paced steps. He'd come here to seek solace, not to be greeted with another source of problems. He'd been going through too much lately.

Sasuke was acting like a total asshole. That was a fact. Nothing could have averted that simple truth. He'd looked sorry, but Naruto couldn't help recalling that this had happened every single time he only mentioned Sakura.

Naruto cracked his knuckles, biting his lower lip when he recalled Sasuke's pale face and his silence before he'd turned to the door. Sasuke hadn't stopped him. He hadn't run after him. Of course, he hadn't, Naruto thought, clenching his fist even harder. Uchihas were too proud to run after anything. Even if the one running away was the most precious person to them.

He'd seen it with Sasuke's father. He'd observed, with the mercilessly honest though naïve observation skills of a child that the man had – in spite of all his doings – loved his wife. And that her departure had broken him. Naruto had seen how the man had done nothing to win her back.

He could see it in Itachi's quiet, though nevertheless protective love for his brother. Itachi and Sasuke never hugged, fought or exchanged playful words with one another. Itachi was cool, nearly detached, and he never said more than was needed. It would have been easy for a random passer-by to say that he didn't care for anyone or anything. Yet, Naruto knew that – if it came down to it – Itachi would risk his life for his brother.

Lastly, he could also see it in Sasuke's behaviour towards himself. All the times the other boy had taunted him had been only playful hints of affection. The same went for the reprimands. Sasuke wouldn't have bothered to visit anyone else, other than Naruto.

And yet, Sasuke wasn't as controlled as Itachi was. He was more like his mother. A small part of him wasn't an Uchiha, but bore traits from the other family he was related to.

He didn't want to do it, but Sasuke often betrayed his caring, even if it was only in the smallest instances.

So, Sasuke was insanely jealous. Naruto had always known that. At least, subconsciously.

When they'd been kids, Sasuke had never left his side. He'd always made a face or stuck out his tongue to Sakura if she only dared to come closer to Naruto.

He smiled at that memory. Sasuke had been quite the spoilt brat as a kid.

It wasn't all that different from now. He was still a brat. He might have stopped behaving like a little kid, but Sasuke hadn't stopped being overly possessive and angry if something he loved was in danger of being -

Naruto exhaled deeply for a moment. Then he picked up his thoughts again. Sasuke only snapped, if something he loved was in danger of being taken away from him.

_Something he loved._

Naruto went over these words over and over again in his brain. Something about them was unsettling, and urging the wheels in his head to keep turning.

Naruto recalled all the moments Sasuke had been angry, and hurt in the past few months.

And then it hit him. It struck him like a cannon ball coming out of nowhere. Naruto was hit so hard, it shocked his very inner being to such an extent, that he came to a stop.

Why, Sasuke was in love with him. Or in the very least, attracted to him.

Naruto let the new-found realisation seep into his brain. Sasuke liked him, Naruto. Of all people that Sasuke could have crushed on, he was crushing on him.

Naruto let out a snort. He could feel the bile rising to his throat, and how the nausea was spreading over his entire body. His legs nearly gave away, they felt that jelly-light and his head was spinning.

He'd fucked it up, totally. He'd made no one happy.

Least of all himself, an evil voice inside his head whispered. But Naruto ignored it. There were more things to worry about.

Without losing another second, Naruto turned around and walked the way back to Sasuke's apartment. He didn't know why, and even years later, he'd never be able to describe what had compelled him to do what he'd done. Some things cannot be rationally described.

It was – seemingly – madness driving him, a feeling so intense and awful that it made his very chest hurt. His legs felt like lead and a heavy weight sat on his shoulders, but Naruto still walked on. He didn't stop walking until he'd reached that door, taken the familiar steps up to the first landing and finally reached a well-known door. The only left to do was to open the door.

Naruto had never been happier about owning these keys than now.

Sasuke was still there where he'd been when Naruto left him. He let out a hiss of surprise and glanced up when the door creaked.

"Naruto?"

Naruto didn't answer, nor pause. He only took in Sasuke's pained expression, the sadness in his eyes and how he was trying his hardest not to betray a hint of emotion.

Idiot, he thought, stupid fucking moron, you should have just told me. You should have told me that it hurt you so much.

"I'm sorry," Naruto said, his hoarse tone surprising Sasuke, "I'm sorry for all I've put you through."

Naruto didn't wait for Sasuke to respond. He pulled him into a hug, an electric jolt of excitement running through him when he felt Sasuke's warmth embracing him. He could feel Sasuke shuddering, and it touched him in way nothing else could have. The fact that the usually so stoic and strong Sasuke wasn't pushing him away made him want to – Naruto couldn't believe what it made him want to do.

Sasuke didn't say anything. He couldn't; his throat was dry, and the only words he could think of were monosyllabic incoherencies. This turn of events wasn't what he had expected at all.

He closed his eyes, thinking the world and all its problems away. Naruto was here, and that was enough. He didn't need nor want anything else.

Then, without thinking, without taking in the consequences of what this action would bring, Naruto kissed Sasuke. Sasuke stiffened, and his fingernails clawed themselves into his shirt. Naruto hissed into the kiss, but he didn't stop. He only pressed his lips more insistently against Sasuke, feeling more turned on than he'd ever expected to feel in his life.

Finally, Sasuke reacted; he opened his mouth and allowed Naruto's tongue to invade it. He didn't care about anything anymore. Least of all why Naruto was doing this right now. Or why, he wasn't putting an end to this.

Naruto wasn't his boyfriend. Up until now, they'd never even exchanged a word about a potential relationship. And yet, Sasuke didn't give a damn. He simply lost himself in the moment.

It wasn't a perfect kiss, by any means. Sasuke's kisses were inexperienced, but yet volatile and bruising in quality. Naruto couldn't deny the fact that the chest pressing against his wasn't soft, but hard. Sasuke wasn't a fragile doll, but could very well beat Naruto into the ground if he'd wanted to.

His lips weren't soft, but chapped. And yet, they were so addictive. Sasuke – thankfully – knew that it was important to breathe through your nose while kissing, otherwise Naruto was pretty sure they'd have run out of breath soon.

The hands running over his back were manly ones. Sasuke didn't smell of some flowery perfume either, but shampoo, cologne and something that was uniquely his. He smelled like a boy, which anyone who'd been around teenage boys could testimony that it wasn't necessarily pleasant. However, Naruto was pretty sure that he wasn't much better off.

And yet, in spite of all the imperfections, Naruto couldn't deny that this felt more than just good.

...

_Additional Notes: _

What does it say about me that the Naruto and Sasuke kissing scene was my favourite thing to write in this chapter?

And no, you needn't answer that question. I apologise for the overload of Kakashi in this story. I'm having way too much fun writing him, even though I have no idea if he's IC or not.

Feedback would be lovely.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N:

I do realise that it took me nearly two months to update this, but then the chapter length should make up for it. I really thank **Calamus** and **Out of Sheol** for bet'ing this. Without them, this chapter would be a hundred times worse. Extended thanks also goes to **catharticdeficit** who first convinced me that the lime content in this chapter doesn't completely suck. Forgive me for any formatting errors.

....

One of the things that Sasuke had sworn never to do was drop his guard because that was _stupid, stupid, stupid._ Scratch that: it was heinously and bloody fucking dumb. (Yes, he felt so strongly about this that he had to use cuss words, and Sasuke wasn't the type to swear that much usually, mind you. He also used a lot of intensifiers, which – again – he didn't use that often, either.)

Anyhow, he'd told himself – over and over again – that he'd never let anyone under his skin. Experience and his exceptional skills at observation had taught him that you could get vastly hurt very easily if you weren't careful.

Once you revealed your insecurities, exposed your weaknesses and showed that you were vulnerable, it was only a matter of time – and there was no point denying it – until you got hurt. After all, people used and abused other people, and Sasuke didn't want to be used or abused. His sweet dreams weren't made of this – not at all. And that song was total crap, by the way.

In sum, falling in love was all about the pain, the abuse shit and being used as a doormat for people to wipe their mud-splattered boots off on.

And for the record, Sasuke wasn't an idiot, so he resolved early on not to make that kind of mistake. Still, Sasuke wasn't infallible.

Inevitably, he fell – just like Icarus who'd aspired to reach the sun, Sasuke, who'd aspired to be this immaculately cool guy not bothered by pesky things such as emotions, had fallen hard and deep: he committed a great deal of stupid mistakes.

He'd made the first mistake by letting Naruto come too close to him, allowing him to be his rival, his best friend – his everything, to be exact. That had led him to do the unforgivable – the most awful and stupid of all treacherous sins.

Yes, he'd committed the worst folly any fool could have committed: he'd fallen in love. In spite of all his hundred and one precautionary measures, he'd fallen for Naruto. It hadn't been planned at all. Indeed, if it had been planned, Sasuke would have done anything and everything in his power to avoid feeling so much.

Yet, he couldn't. Once you fall into the abyss, it isn't that easy to soar upwards again -- if ever one could again. You can't choose to fall in love. It just happens.

And Sasuke, who was as human and hot-blooded as everyone else, realised it had been a gradual as well as inescapable process.

It had started out with looks that lingered a little too much on Naruto's chest, his shoulders and his face – especially his face. Although Sasuke never admitted it out loud, he loved Naruto's round jaw, the whisker-like scars marring his cheeks. He loved all of that. Especially those scars – they were inexplicably attractive and Sasuke had often caught himself wanting to trace their linear shape with his fingers.

Actually, all Sasuke had found himself wanting to do was touch; kiss and touch Naruto. It had all been about the touch, the contact that could be described as sparks incensing his body like touching hot wires.

Oh yes, Sasuke had officially lost his head, so much that he'd started coming up with weird metaphors on how to describe desire. Because desire had ruled his life. He'd desired and loved Naruto.

So, he'd spent the first few months of this unconscious first love gazing a lot at Naruto, getting all hot and bothered, and then being confused why his heart raced and beat so fast when he was around Naruto.

It'd taken him ages to figure out. And when Sasuke had realised it was love, he'd been – well – mortified. He had – naturally – tried to fall out of love. He'd tried everything he could think of and had even breathed a sigh of relief when Naruto had started dating Sakura, until something else happened: he became obsessively jealous. Sasuke had nearly driven himself mad with the thought of losing Naruto to Sakura. So much, he'd nearly destroyed their friendship – and alienated Sakura from him.

And now, to add insult to his previous injury, Sasuke was kissing Naruto. As if the growing-close-and-falling-in-love bit hadn't been bad enough, he was now making a hundred times worse by actually being intimate with him.

And damn it, he was coming undone – finally and totally. He was falling, drowning and sinking deeper and deeper into – he didn't know what.

Sasuke felt totally light. His heart was beating wildly; his nerves were such a jittery and jumbled confusion of electric sensations running up and down his spine that he was shuddering. He was shuddering, although he wasn't cold.

Naruto was so hot though: his breath was hot, and his mouth was wet. Sasuke had thought it kind of disgusting at first – they were, after all, swapping spit, and that wasn't really all that sexy when you thought about it too deeply. Neither was the sweat rolling down his forehead, really. He could feel his hands trembling. He was kind of glad that he was breathing through his nose, or he'd have fainted by now.

But all of that didn't really matter because Naruto was warm, and his mouth – though wet with all the exchanging of saliva – was hot. And those strong hands wrapped around his neck were also hot, and Sasuke gasped into the kiss (because it was so hot that, fuck, he was burning from the inside out).

This was dangerous, lethal even. This sort of emotion could burn up you inside. Kill you in the sweetest way possible. Because what would happen if the fire burnt out?

And yet, to be honest, Sasuke didn't really give a damn because it felt so good, and – he still couldn't get over it – Naruto had been the one to start it. Naruto had kissed him first; he'd walked back here (when he could have run far, far away) and, taking Sasuke by surprise, had sealed his doom – and Sasuke's.

Sasuke now knew he could never, ever fall out of love. It was too late, too late. It was inevitable. The candle wax had burned too deep into his skin, the milk was spoilt: the walls that had hitherto stood between them were crumbling.

Because now that Sasuke knew what Naruto tasted like – his lips were just as soft as he'd imagined them to be, and he really did taste of ramen, but then Sasuke hadn't expected any different; he did taste less uncouth and messy than he'd thought, there was also a taste of strawberry pasta intermingling with the ramen – he couldn't get enough of it.

He couldn't be blamed for not getting enough. Not at all. If anything, Sasuke thought, cackling internally, it was all Naruto's fault. All Naruto's fault because he'd kissed him first, and by doing that, he'd given Sasuke hope.

It was _his_ fault that Sasuke would never be able to let go now. Because now that Naruto was kissing him, Sasuke knew, at least, that this wasn't entirely one-sided. You didn't kiss people, if there wasn't some sort of attraction or curiosity involved.

* * *

After what seemed like ages, but had actually been much, much less, Naruto finally broke the kiss. Not because his conscience had given him a start, but because he was feeling a little hot all of a sudden. As if a hot wire had prickled his skin and set off a chain of electric jolts making his skin sizzle. Or as if boiling, sizzling water had been splashed – well, fuck no. Because he was hot, yes, but it didn't hurt. Naruto couldn't put the sensation into words, but – shit – he was feeling way too hot, and it was growing unbearable.

When had the room become so stifling? And when had he started to feel this dizzy? He needed to sit down – now. Or he'd really faint, and, for the record, real men do not faint.

"Shit," Naruto groaned, and let himself fall on to the ground, wincing when he realised how cold it was. It was really cold, and... Fuck, either he was growing crazy or he really was _this_ hypersensitive.

"I hope you're not referring to our kiss," Sasuke remarked. He'd been watching Naruto's odd behaviour for the past minute.

Sasuke still remained seated where he was – on that damned floor – and Naruto wondered why he wasn't wincing. Then again, Naruto reasoned, Sasuke had always been a bit strange. When he saw that Sasuke was waiting for some sort of reply, he answered, somewhat angrily. "No, you ass, I wasn't. Not everything is about you, Sasuke."

And well, not everything was about Sasuke. Why did he always immediately assume that it was? _Damned bastard_, Naruto thought and stood up again, deciding that leaning against the wall was better than sitting on the cold floor.

Sasuke still observed Naruto from his vantage point. Then he looked down, and started nibbling his fingernails – a bad habit he'd picked from his mother. When he spoke, Sasuke knew that his voice sounded tense.

"Because you know, if you're going to tell me it was some hormonal mishap or something of the sort, you'll regret it."

He bit his fingernails again, meaning very single word he had said. Indeed, he'd _pummel_ Naruto to certain death if he dared to deny what had happened.

Naruto felt annoyance flare up in him. Of course Sasuke would to resort to violence. Or even better, assume that he'd just run away. Asshole. He gnashed his teeth, and counted to ten, trying to cool down so he could coolly tell Sasuke to just shut the fuck up.

"Sasuke – you're so..." Naruto started, but he couldn't finish. He grinned, instead, and watched how Sasuke reacted to that. And, predictably, he was fuming with anger, silently and still. But Sasuke was like a volcano, after all: he would erupt eventually.

"Naruto-"

Naruto grinned even further; he couldn't help it. Sasuke's expression was too funny; it was a cross between impatience, poorly concealed anger and annoyance. And yet, he looked utterly vulnerable as well. How typical of Sasuke. Naruto couldn't help how absurd this was. God, he knew Sasuke like the back of his hand. He swore that Sasuke's face was reminiscent of that of an angry kid. And in many ways, Sasuke still was a kid who threw jealousy fits and was utterly selfish. _Really_. Naruto let out a chuckle, which quickly exploded into full-hearted laughter.

Sasuke, however, looked at Naruto's shaking form with a frown marring his features.

"What's so funny?" he asked, wondering whether Naruto had finally lost his marbles. Maybe the kiss had been too mind-blowing? Or maybe Naruto was going through some strange form of hysteria.

"This," Naruto shot back as a reply, still laughing merrily and clutching his shaking stomach.

Sasuke just glared and, tapping his right foot impatiently on the hard and cool wooden floor, waited for Naruto to explain himself. If not, Sasuke would be forced to do something radical – like boxing his ears to get Naruto to wizen up. But he tried one last time. "Explain yourself."

Naruto had cooled down. Deciding that he'd had enough of leaning against the wall, sat down on Sasuke's bed; which, in hindsight, he should have done from the get-go, because it was warm and comfortable. When he'd finally settled down, Naruto answered: "Nothing's changed. You're still the same, and I'm still the same."

Sasuke raised his eyebrows at that. Naruto really was an idiot. After all the dramatics, he'd expected more... well, what he had he really expected? Nothing really. He hadn't expected Naruto to kiss him in the first place.

"Should things have changed between us?" Sasuke asked, and sat down beside Naruto. The bed creaked, and Naruto shifted slightly, allowing Sasuke to have more space. Sasuke breathed deeply, and could hear his stomach grumbling. He hadn't eaten anything today yet.

Naruto sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno. I always thought that kisses between people like us – you know, best mates – would be life-altering events."

Then again, Naruto didn't know what life-altering events actually were. Hmm, jumping off a cliff certainly counted as one, just like performing on-stage in front of two-thousand people. But a kiss?

"What were you expecting?" Sasuke asked again.

Naruto groaned. He really was an idiot – at least when it came to the emotional stuff. But how could he make Sasuke understand?

"I don't know... That you'd be blushing like mad now, or have pushed me away. Or that I'd be freaking out as hell and talking about how I'm straight and how kissing your best friend is so totally–"

Sasuke's cool hand interrupted Naruto's little rant by resting on his mouth. A second later, Naruto slapped it off, throwing a dirty glance at Sasuke.

"Shut up, Naruto. Just shut up."

"I had a point there!" Naruto insisted, folding his arms. He pouted. "Shouldn't we at least feel a little awkward?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I really don't want to waste time on inane discussions. And I don't feel awkward at all."

"Then what do you want to do?" Naruto asked, rolling his eyes. He had pretty good notion of what _he_ wanted to do, but maybe it wasn't what Sasuke wanted.

Sasuke smirked, and then, putting his hands on Naruto's shoulders, smirked further when he noticed how Naruto's breathing was quickening. So he really did have that sort of power over him. Sasuke felt a bit of pride swelling up in him, thinking how he'd always felt overpowered in Naruto's presence and how, now, the tables were turned. It was now _his _turn to exert his influence over Naruto.

Thinking that there wasn't any point in hiding his real intentions anymore, Sasuke really did – finally – trace the scars with his fingers, liking how he felt Naruto shiver at the unexpected contact. He could still recall how the scars had come into being. Naruto had thought – when he'd been five or six – that fox-like markings would be manly, so he'd gone and carved them in himself. _Stupid moron_, Sasuke thought, and smiled softly when he remembered how much Naruto had cried afterwards. And it was funny, how he'd loved Naruto then, and how had nothing had changed in that way.

"Simple: this," he said.

Naruto closed his eyes instantly; Sasuke's cool lips were a welcome distraction, and he felt immediately better. And though Sasuke's lips were chapped and kind of dry and his kissing a bit too sloppy – Sasuke seemed to think that kissing meant aggressively shoving your tongue down someone's throat – it still felt good. Naruto couldn't recall a time when he'd felt like _this_ with Sakura. His hands had never sweated this much, nor had he felt his heart beating this quickly.

_Kiba, be damned_, Naruto thought. Sasuke was – in no way – an eunuch.

There was something about Naruto, Sasuke decided firmly, something – as annoying and dumb he could get – that made people attracted to him. The bed creaked, and Sasuke – somehow – ended up on Naruto's lap. Though he was nowhere near light, Naruto seemed fine with the weight, and only moved a bit so he could learn back against the wall. Sasuke didn't even realise all this because he was too engrossed in all the kissing and groping – and there was lots of kissing and groping going on. Even if he _had_ realised, it wasn't anything to fret about, really. What would have made his skin crawl before was now just something he wanted, had to do. He didn't stop there, either. Instead, he started to kiss Naruto even more aggressively, and his hands wrapped themselves possessively around Naruto. As if letting him go would mean instant death. Or something like that.

Naruto, who'd taken the more passive role up until now, decided that it was time to try out something else. He broke the kiss – and watched with an unholy smirk gracing his features how Sasuke groaned in protest. But he had something better in mind – far better. He attacked Sasuke's neck with his tongue; since it looked so detectable and all that. And no, he wasn't going to philosophise on how pale Sasuke's skin was, or on how graceful – whatever. Because it was only one side of the coin: Sasuke's skin, though delectable and pale, was also sweaty, and sticky; he was pretty sure that adding his saliva to the sweat was only making it wetter. And that wasn't particularly erotic, but Naruto just wanted to do it, and that was it.

"Fuck, Naruto – Stop that. It's fuc– It's disgustin–" Sasuke stammered out when he felt Naruto's tongue, cold and wet, on his skin; it was. And it felt so weird, and Sasuke didn't think it was hot at all. Only Sasuke never finished gathering his thoughts into a clear sentence. He gasped out and his hold on Naruto tightened.

Naruto didn't stop at all; instead, he continued his exploration. Sasuke's skin tasted salty, and it was a little odd, all right (and a bit disgusting as well). But then, he just loved how Sasuke was coming undone here and now – how he was trembling, and squirming to move away. How his hands were grasping him tighter – Naruto could feel a bit of a sting where Sasuke's fingernails dug into his skin. Naruto felt this wasn't enough, though – maybe, Sasuke could do with a bit more teasing. So, he bit down lightly on his skin.

Sasuke gasped when Naruto bit his neck – more like "nibbled", or actually, just the unexpected contact of teeth against flesh – but, damn, it was weird. It didn't hurt exactly, but the teeth scraping against the sensitive skin would certainly leave marks tomorrow.

"Fuck," Sasuke nearly moaned out, flushing while he did so and burying his hands in Naruto's hair. He was sure that he was doing that a bit too forcefully – he was pulling Naruto's hair so hard it had to hurt quite a bit. But if it did, Naruto didn't give any indication, so Sasuke didn't remove his hands. He couldn't stop breathing heavily nor shaking that much either. And he was starting to feel really uncomfortable: he could feel himself getting aroused. And this wasn't right: Naruto wouldn't – and couldn't – come out as the winner of this "fight".

So, feeling a little daring and having – not too long ago – abandoned any doubts, Sasuke breathed into Naruto's ear's lobe. He didn't know if he wasn't doing it right, and felt stupid about it. But then, he'd heard that some people were sensitive on such places, that it made them feel fluttery. And when Naruto hissed out, Sasuke knew that he was doing it right. "I'm not going to lose you, moron."

"Neither will I. Just wait and see."

"Sure," Sasuke replied, and then proceeded to lick Naruto's left cheek, which wasn't soft at all. Naruto trembled and hissed out again. And Sasuke felt pretty good about himself.

Naruto paid it back by pulling Sasuke's face closer and kissing him gently – nearly timidly. It was just lips pressing against lips; Naruto added little to no pressure, and Sasuke felt himself losing patience. There was nothing exciting about this.

Sasuke was nearly going to break the kiss, and remark on how lousy the idiot was at making retributions when Naruto's teeth bit down between his chin and lower lip. Sasuke moaned, and Naruto used this as an opportunity, to ram his tongue into Sasuke's mouth. But his dominance didn't last for long. Sasuke soon overcame his shock and, shifting in his position on Naruto's lap, kissed Naruto, hard.

This time, neither of them breathed into the kiss, and, so it ended when the boys ran out of air.

"Yeah, I'm _good_," Naruto half-gasped out, and half-said. "I'm a really good kiss–"

"Shut up."

"_You_ sh-"

Sasuke kissed Naruto again, this time with so much force and passion that it quite took Naruto's breath away; he'd learnt how to kiss properly by now. He took his time, first massaging Naruto's lower lip with his tongue; meanwhile, Sasuke's hands cupped Naruto's face, gently. Naruto thought that the feeling of Sasuke's cool hands on his cheeks felt better than kissing him – though that was nice as well. But that simple gesture, the hands cupping his face, showed him that Sasuke was pouring all his pent up desire, frustration and despair into that single kiss. If Naruto hadn't believed that Sasuke loved him up to this point, he knew now.

It killed any desire in him to engage in any banter with Sasuke anymore. Why quarrel when they could do this?

Somewhere, Naruto questioned himself whether this wasn't going too fast, but the part of him that was a teenager told him to "Fuck it all! Live for the moment, take what's deservedly yours."

And he wanted Sasuke. He really wanted to rub against Sasuke now; he was slowing turning hard and was pretty certain that Sasuke felt the same way. They were certainly kissing very passionately and heatedly by now.

And it would have turned out even more heated, if Fate itself had not chosen to intervene. Or better said, if Itachi, who was never home at this time, hadn't chosen that moment not only _not_ to knock on Sasuke's door, but to barge in unannounced instead (which was nothing unusual, really). Itachi, who didn't get surprised easily, had long since observed that his little brother was quite a predictable person. Like, the sort of person who usually didn't kiss people in his room. But he'd been wrong, apparently.

And of course, once he realised what was going, Itachi let out a polite cough. Naruto and Sasuke immediately stopped, and stared at him utterly dumbfounded; it was a perfect Kodak moment.

"Sasuke– I wanted to ask– " Itachi stopped talking, probably deciding it was inopportune, and looked at the boys again. Then, he threw an amused smirk at them, and chuckled lightly before continuing, "I'm sorry. I see to be interrupting something of importance. I'll check back in later."

And with that, he closed the door behind him. Naruto swore that he could hear him chuckling again out in the hall. This time, he wasn't that quiet. Then again, it wasn't an everyday occurrence that you caught your little brother straddling another guy, and making out passionately.

Sasuke immediately jumped off Naruto's lap and let out a string of curses. Naturally, he wasn't quite as aroused or excited now. Neither was Naruto. In fact, both of them were experiencing that really uncomfortable sensation that was akin to a kick in stomach.

Naruto was pretty sure that he was red in the face, but he didn't mind that much. He could see the tell-tale signs of a flush forming on Sasuke's pale cheeks as well. This proved that he wasn't the only one who was affected by this. Good.

Sasuke tried his best not to throw something at the wall (this time he would have the one who the making the loud noise, not his asshole of a neighbour). But he didn't, and instead he just clenched his fists. And cursed. Not so quietly either.

"Well, now that was awkward," Naruto announced in a mock cheerful tone.

"_Awkward?_ He's never going to let me live it down!" Sasuke spat out angrily, and he looked so angry that, if looks could kill, Naruto would have died for certain.

Naruto grinned, in spite of himself. "Well, it's your fault since you jumped me!"

He felt like adding something along the lines of 'sexual frustration' and 'domineering bastard', but refrained. He knew that Sasuke wouldn't react very favourably to that.

"You were the one who started in the first place," Sasuke threw in, and tried his best to look diffident.

"I-" The sudden beep of mobile phone interrupted them, and Naruto jumped. He'd forgotten that he'd placed the daft thing into his jeans' pocket.

Sasuke grinned at that; it was always a treat to observe how Naruto grew unsettled over such insignificant things.

"It could be Sakura-chan, you know," Naruto gave him to understand, and Sasuke's grin immediately faded from his face.

Of course. He'd forgotten all about her. Then again, was Sakura really his problem? Naruto had kissed him, and had allowed Sasuke to kiss him in return. But still. What if he hadn't meant it? What if this was just a fluke?

_Shit_, he thought. _Shit, shit, shit._ What if Naruto would suddenly turn into a coward? No, Sasuke wouldn't allow it. He'd rather die before allowing Naruto to walk out of this.

"If you think I'm just going to allow you to den–"

"Just let me read, okay?" Naruto said, not wanting to hear Sasuke's negative comments again.

"I'm not going to deny anything."

Naruto paled when he saw the message, and immediately snorted afterwards. Then, after he'd glanced at the message for a few more minutes, he burst out laughing.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, a bit bummed out that Naruto found this so hilarious.

"Kakashi."

"And?" Sasuke asked, growing irritated that the man, who was somewhat Naruto's guardian, had interrupted them right now. They'd just begun to talk about the really important stuff.

"He wants me to buy ... oh fuck him – lube and condoms."

Really. That man just knew how to kill the mood. And then, at times, he was a life-saver.  
Sasuke decided it was best not to comment on that. Instead, he sat on his bed and stuffed his hands awkwardly into his pockets (which was fairly dumb, seeing how he didn't keep anything in his pockets. Oh well). He threw a cautionary glance around his room, noticing that it wasn't as tidy and well-organised today.

"I'll have to head home now," Naruto said, and picked up his bag. He swallowed, and took in a deep breath. It was still hot in the room. Or maybe, he was just that dizzy. It could be the fever. His head had been throbbing a lot these days. Or maybe, he was just going crazy. Yes, it was definitely that. Or maybe Sasuke was staring a little too intensely at him. Fuck.

"So, we'll see each other," Naruto said as he reached the door.

"Yeah. Bye," Sasuke said back, in a somewhat awkward and – which secretly pleased Naruto – reluctant tone.

Neither of them could deny that they were more than a little disappointed that they'd been interrupted again.

* * *

Sakura stood shivering and trembling like a leaf in a storm. She was leaning against the door of her school and waiting. She'd been at it for at least an hour. Maybe even two.

_Just go home, and give him hell afterwards,_ Ino had told her. But Sakura hadn't felt like going, and Ino, who'd taken pity on her, had waited for a bit. However, due to her mother being sick, Ino couldn't stay longer, and had left Sakura grudgingly. She'd even offered her umbrella, but Sakura had declined. Ino's shop was quite far away from school, and that silly girl caught colds rather easily. Sakura wasn't in the mood to suffer another bout of guilt; Ino had done too much for her in the past, even though Sakura had done fairly little to deserve that. She'd treated Ino like shit when she'd still been in love with Sasuke.

_Sometimes, I think Ino is a better boyfriend than Naruto could ever be_, Sakura thought bitterly and felt a heavy lump forming in her throat. There were times she couldn't help it, and this was one of them.

The rain was ugly to look at. But Sakura felt that everything was ugly that day; the school building was grey, the trees looked empty and dull and everything just seemed to mock her in its stillness. The other students had filed out of the school building after they'd finished the duties of cleaning up. Now, the school ground and the bare, lifeless trees looked like a wasteland – a wasteland of decay and forgotten dreams.

* * *

It was raining when Naruto walked out of Sasuke's apartment. It rained mildly; the raindrops that fell a-pattering on Naruto's light coat and bag were just little – tiny, actually – water droplets. They didn't chill him nor soak him to the bone. Rather, while the rain wetted his hair and clothes lightly, Naruto felt thankful. This was such a nice change from the heat of Sasuke's room; the stifling atmosphere had nearly driven him crazy.

Maybe he'd been driving himself round the bend thinking too much about things. Maybe, all this time, he'd been running after something that he hadn't wanted in the first place. _God, I'm really a genius_, Naruto thought, feeling the sarcasm seep into his mind like some poison slowly digging its way into a person's heart.

Of course, then his cell phone rang, and Naruto, angered more than he should have been, picked it up.

"Yes?" he asked gruffly, and cursed while he stood there in the rain. It was cold. Now that he was standing and feeling the chill air spreading about him, he could feel how cold it was.

_Damn it. This better be good_.

"You don't really sound happy to hear from me, Naruto. And I should be the one angry," Sakura said, in a sterner tone than she'd meant to, but then again, damn him. She clenched the material of her shirt while listening to Naruto breathe deeply into the phone on the other side.

As soon as he recognised the other voice on the line, Naruto felt like slapping himself. He'd totally forgotten – he'd totally, absolutely forgotten about their date. His voice was raspy when he answered.

"No, I'm just – fuck, sorry. I just have too many things going on."

_Like I don't_, Sakura felt like responding, but didn't: here was no need to be bitchy now. Naruto was an idiot at times, and she'd learnt to handle that. Besides, placing pressure on his shoulders would just ruin things. Ino always told her that guys didn't handle pressure well, and there had to be grain of truth in that.

"I just – you know that we'd arranged to meet before the weekend," Sakura tried again, using the lightest tone she could muster. It made her feel sick and stupid. "It's kind of the last time we'll be doing innocent stuff like that."

Naruto choked at that, and he was pretty sure Sakura could hear it. And he wasn't wrong.

"Naruto?"

"About that –" Naruto started, but he stopped. He gulped and a sensation of utter horror ran down his spine. His heart hurt, and he could hear it beating wildly against his ribcage. He felt cold, even though the rain had stopped falling.

_Oh no_, Sakura thought. _Please not that. Not now_. She'd planned this so thoroughly. Her fingers trembled so much that the phone nearly slipped off Sakura's hands. Her voice was tremulous when she asked: "Why? What's the matter?"

Naruto felt nausea rising up in him, but he'd started it. So, he had to finish it off as well. "I'm – well, something just came in between."

"You just realised that now?" Sakura demanded. "I mean, you've known about this for a whole week, and it's Thursday – and you tell me NOW?"

So what if she sounded furious now? Sakura was _beyond_ furious.

"Fuck, sometimes – it's just like that. Look, I can't explain: it's just too much. It's too damn much, okay?"

He knew he was being unfair. He knew that he came across as sounding very harsh and desperate, so much that Sakura was probably worrying herself silly by now. But Naruto could not – he just couldn't face her now.

"Naruto– what happened? Are you sick? Did something– Naruto!"

He could have lied to her. Easily. Had Sakura been a slut or a two-timing little bitch, that would have been marvellously easy. Only that in the past six months Naruto had been dating her, she had done nothing wrong. She'd been nothing but the supportive and kind girl she was. So what if she used a little violence at times, and didn't hesitate to put Naruto down a peg or two?

"I'm sorry. I just can't talk about it now."

And with that, he hung up.

* * *

Kakashi was watching TV when Naruto entered the living room. He'd just come home a few minutes earlier, had dutifully put his shoes into the shoe cupboard and hung his coat neatly on the peg. He'd even been quiet, since – as the darkness that had now settled outside indicated – it was already evening.

"Hey," Naruto said and threw the package of condoms and the lube onto Kakashi's lap. "I got your crap. But next time, don't – forget it."

Kakashi didn't reply at first. He was so absorbed by the flickering and ever-changing pictures dancing on the screen. But then he turned around briefly, waved, and uttered a careless "Yo".

Naruto was going to walk into his room as usual, but halted when he saw what Kakashi was watching. At first, there was nothing special about it: just two guys talking. But then he noticed that the one guy, who also seemed to be trembling in despair, had tears in his eyes and was going on and on about "do you still fancy me?" while the other one had this flabbergasted, totally incredulous look in his eyes. And yet, as incredulous and disbelieving as he looked, there was something expectant in his gaze, as if he'd been waiting, dreaming of that very moment.

Of course, Naruto immediately knew what Kakashi was watching. He'd been driving him up the wall with this series for the past three months.

"Hollyoaks? You're watching that retarded British crap?"

Kakashi rolled that one visible eye. "It's retarded all right, but the love story between Craig – and John Paul Mc-"

Seriously, what kind of guy was called "Mc Queen"? Actually, if he thought about it, Naruto decided that it wasn't worth answering that question.

"-Queen is nicely done. You keep on telling me. But it's still crap. I mean... why watch this crap. Just 'cause it's gay? There's Queer As Folk too, you know!"

Kakashi sighed briefly, and motioned Naruto to him.

"No way!" Naruto protested.

"Come on sit down, and watch."

"Not if –"

"Sit down, or I'll tell Minato you've been a member of 'My FreePaySite' ever since you've been 13."

Naruto groaned and sat down to watch. Not that he was worried about his Dad finding out he liked porn, but he knew that Kakashi would twist his words in such a way that Naruto wouldn't be able to face Minato for at least a week. Never mind the fact that Kakashi consumed way more porn in one week than Naruto ever had in his entire life. Damn.

_I have no choice but to watch this crap_, Naruto thought while he cracked his fists. And gnashed his teeth. _God, what a torture fair_.

So, that one guy – the idiot called Craig – was still going on about this "fancy me" stuff, and looked so utterly unhappy and constipated that Naruto wondered if he'd swallowed a frog. And that Mc Queen character just kept staring at him with that stupid look; he looked so completely stupefied that it made Naruto smirk.

_Stupid drama queen. Really. You'd think that this was the end of the world or something,_ Naruto thought with disgust, wondering why they were making such a big deal out of this. It was so damned obvious what was going to happen.

"So, he's going to reject him?" Naruto asked, feeling himself grow somewhat light-headed already. He couldn't see how people took rubbish like this seriously.

"Just watch and see," Kakashi replied, with a minor hint of impatience lingering in his tone.

Naruto rolled his eyes, but he didn't say another word. Instead, he tried to focus on the screen, even though he was thinking about something else entirely. Like his Maths homework, which he needed to get done for tomorrow. Sasuke was crap at Maths (the one thing he didn't excel at, for once). Naruto wasn't, but he still sucked at doing his homework. Well, he had this habit of doing it at the last minute. This meant that he usually did at four am in the morning, growling and cursing like a madman on a sugar high.

In fact, Naruto was so absorbed in his thoughts that he only remembered to watch what happened on-screen when he noticed the two guys had started kissing – in this very awkward, and nearly desperate sort of way. His eyebrows furrowed at that, and Naruto shook his head when the scene then shifted to them lying in bed. It was obvious what had just happened; they'd had sex, although they were both still dressed in their undershirts and boxers. Whatever. They'd probably done some mild frottage or something like that. And yet, the Craig guy was now making a fuss about it, and calling the other one a fag, even though he'd been the one to initiate the whole thing, it seemed.

God, what piece of complete bullshit. Naruto threw up his hands in despair. Kakashi turned off the TV, and Naruto finally dared to open his mouth. "And – why did I have to watch this now?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Didn't it teach you anything?"

Naruto gaped at Kakashi like a fish which had been let off the hook and tossed back into water. For a while he just stared at Kakashi, and then back at the TV set, and then he threw a quick look at the living room. The couch was still blue, the bookshelf stacked with porn still stood at its usual place, and Kakashi had not magically turned into a woman – no, he was still the same old Kakashi. Yes, unfortunately, that meant that Kakashi was serious. While Naruto was currently pondering whether this was a nightmare or not, Kakashi had settled back onto the couch.

"_No?_"he asked in a bewildered tone and, wondered what Kakashi was getting at. What did Hollyoaks have to do with him and Sasuke?

Kakashi sighed; it was the sort of sigh he used when he thought something was a lost, hopeless cause. "You were going to ask me about your love life again, weren't you?"

He just waited for Naruto to say something while he surveyed his toenails critically – another habit that made Naruto feel very, very bothered. The man had no decency at all. Also, he couldn't stand how the man always – and really always – managed to make him feel so helpless.

"I wasn't going to talk about my love life, Kakashi. Really not," Naruto said in a strong and firm voice, and crossed his arms. He would have stuck his tongue out, but that was immature – and he needed Kakashi to understand that he just wasn't a kid anymore.

"Oh come on. You've got that lost puppy dog look into your eyes –"

Naruto immediately sat up and, interrupting Kakashi, roared out: "I don't have a puppy dog look in my eyes– _j__ust shut it!_"

"Mah, calm down. Your father's sleeping," Kakashi replied, and pointed into the direction of his and Minato's bedroom. "You wouldn't want to wake him up, would you?"

Naruto shook his head, knowing quite well that his father didn't belong to the most pleasant people when woken up. In fact, he became quite a maniac when woken up unexpectedly. So yeah, it was better to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

"And what could you help me with, anyway?" Naruto asked, and sat back on the sofa. He was so tired, so damn tired. "It's not like you can tell me anything, can you? I don't see what Hollyoaks has to do anything with me. I've never... well, I've never been scared of being hones–" Naruto nearly bit into his tongue. Fuck, he'd nearly told a lie.

Kakashi realised it at once. "You still haven't figured what do about Sakura?"

He sounded nearly exasperated this time, Naruto thought with a wince. He sunk deeper into the couch and shook his head. "I don't know how to – well, I don't know how to face her."

"Well, look. I'll just say this – the longer you keep things between you and Sakura silent, the worse you'll make it. "Honesty is the key to everything."

Naruto let out a bitter laugh, and felt like breaking pots. Teenage magazines had never fared well with him, and the fact Kakashi just sounded like one, made the whole thing more laughable.

"Oh, that's easy to say, Mr. Oh-so-Wise."

"Hmm, maybe. But then you tend to–"

"Overcomplicate things?"

"Precisely," Kakashi pointed out, and stared up at the ceiling, as if the entire conversation were boring him to death.

Naruto wondered if he was doing this a) to anger him, or b) because he really was that bored. Whatever it was, Naruto felt fury build up in him. One of those days, he thought, while grinding his teeth, he'd show Kakashi what he really was made of. And then he would stop taunting him.

"You said that last time. Boring."

"And you were just as confused last time. Boring, too," Kakashi retorted, and still stared up at the ceiling.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "You're wrong – I'm not confused."

"Aren't you?"

"No."

"Then, you've finally realised that you're so gay for Sasuke it hurts?"

What Kakashi had said didn't immediately click in Naruto's brain, so he nodded. But when he realised what Kakashi had said, he choked. "WHAT?"

"Thought so. You still haven't realised – _how disappointing," _Kakashi replied, and waved his hand dismissively.

Naruto, for the umpteenth time, just glared. But then, he started to tremble furiously and rose from the couch again.

"You're wrong!" he accused Kakashi, while he walked from the couch to the TV and back.

"I am?" Kakashi inquired, looking honestly curious now. "Sit down."

He pulled Naruto by the hand, and Naruto was forced to sit down again.

"I've ... kinda ... you know –"

"You what? Tell me more. I've got all the time in the world."

"Well – imadeoutwithSasuke."

"I didn't catch that, sorry."

Kakashi just wouldn't stop torturing him. Of course he'd understood every single word, but Naruto knew he wasn't going to let loose until Naruto came out with all the sordid details.

"I've made out with Sasuke – with tongue and all. I licked his neck, and he straddled me. We'd probably have done more, but then his brother interrupted. Satisfied now?" Naruto asked in a not so quiet manner, but his nerves were quite frazzled. What was worse, the memory of Sasuke and him kissing – damn, it was enough to make him feel even more frustrated.

Kakashi clapped briefly, and Naruto – well, he rolled his eyes again. He'd have screamed, but then his precious Daddy was asleep. "Good. You've finally become part of the gay tribe."

"Wait, no one's saying I'm gay. Being attracted to one guy doesn't mean that you're suddenly into the entire male population," Naruto protested. Just because he liked Sasuke didn't mean he'd suddenly developed a liking for Barbara Streisand and was going to frequent male stripper bars at night. "And how the fuck did you ... um, have a hunch that I might be attracted to Sasuke?"

"You have a point there. Liking one guy doesn't equal to gay. You might just be bi – or hell, Sasuke-sexual." Kakashi agreed, "As for how I knew, it was simple. You spend a lot time sleeping over at Sasuke's, and talk a lot more about him than you do about Sakura. It's always 'the bastard did this' and 'he's driving me up the wall with his prissiness'."

"Well, I said that a lot about you too, but that doesn't mean I'm in lov–"

"Oh come on, Naruto. I've known for you years. _Years,_ boy. And I've seen you with Sasuke. I've seen how you behave around him. I've seen how he behaves around you. Maybe, you're still too young to understand this, but it's the little things that count, Naruto."

Naruto remained silent, not knowing how to outwit this one. He had an inkling of what Kakashi meant by "little things", though he'd never thought about it in detail. Well, he'd thought a lot recently, but that had proved to be counter-productive (his head throbbed way too much these days).

"And you should tell Sakura. Tell her. You'll only make things worse if you don't. If you don't, I'll tel–"

Naruto paled, and felt that feeling of utter chill engulf him. He shivered, and wrapped his arms around his chest. It was cold, and his head was hurting so much that he felt it would burst. Or was it his heart? He didn't know. When Naruto spoke, he knew that his voice was hoarse and full of worry. "But that's the problem. She'll be hurt– and I don't want to hurt her."

Kakashi shook his head. "You're really an idiot, Naruto."

Naruto wanted to say more, but the bell on the door rang. Kakashi, who felt that he'd said what was due, got up from the couch and, in his usual slouchy gait, trudged into the room he shared with Minato. Probably to molest him in his sleep or whatever he did. Naruto's intuition told him that, whatever it would be, Minato would probably enjoy it. Whatever. Naruto didn't think he would ever understand what made his father attracted to Kakashi, of all people.

* * *

Naruto ran towards the door with a groan. Of course, someone always had to interrupt when things got interesting. Though, perhaps, it was good his talk with Kakashi had been interrupted. Naruto wasn't sure which tangents the discussion might have gone off if they hadn't been interrupted. So Naruto didn't go "what the fuck do you want?" when he opened the door.

"Sasuke?" Naruto spattered out dumbly, though it wasn't the first time Sasuke had dropped by for a visit.

And it was Sasuke, all right. Naruto could tell he was going to stay over night; he'd brought his school bag along, and it looked pretty heavy. Good. Maybe, they'd finish their dumb chemistry project this way and – do something else. Actually, fuck chemistry. They'd _definitely_ do something else. Naruto licked his lips impishly and thought with new-found delight that he knew exactly what they were going to do tonight. He was all for deepening their bond, so to speak.

Sasuke, however, had other thoughts on his mind. And Naruto realised that he'd been thinking while Sasuke had been telling him something important. "Naruto, did you hear me?"

Naruto shook his head. "Sorry. Am kind of sleepy. Say it again."

Sasuke sighed in his usual I'm-surrounded-by-idiots manner. He really was a drama queen, all right. "I can't sleep at home. Let me in."

Naruto grinned, and allowed Sasuke to come in. "You didn't have to ask. Still, why the sudden visit?"

For a while, Sasuke didn't respond as he was busy taking off his shoes, as well as his jacket. He placed the shoes and jacket neatly where they belonged, and Naruto watched him with ardent fascination. It never ceased to amuse him what a compulsively neat person Sasuke was. Then again, he'd probably been forced to be neat, since Itachi was rarely at home and their father had never bothered to take care of Sasuke. So, Sasuke had been forced to do everything on his own.

_The only person he has_, Naruto thought,_ is really me and I've been_– Naruto banished the unhappy chain of thoughts from his brain. Still, he couldn't help worrying. Maybe something shitty had happened to him – and that wasn't good at all.

"So what happened? Come on. You know you can tell me, Sasuke."

"Itachi's been mocking me all evening. And I can't stand it. I told you he wouldn't let me live it down."

Naruto breathed in relief, and cursed internally. Damn Kakashi and fuck Hollyoaks for turning him into such a nervous wreck. All that melodrama was taking a toll on him. He sighed loudly and, motioning Sasuke to follow him, walked in the direction of his room. They were both silent.

When they reached Naruto's room, Sasuke closed the door behind him. He switched the light on, and immediately squinted: the light was way too intense. When it was safe to look again, Sasuke opened his eyes and was greeted straight away with the sight of Naruto's messy room. But he refrained from commenting this time. Naruto wasn't in the right mood, judging by how quietly he was behaving.

"You look kind of angry... what happened, Naruto?" Sasuke asked while kicking a few magazines out of his way. He moved towards Naruto's bed, and sat down on it when he'd reached his destination. But not before he'd thrown a Vagabond volume off it. Really, Naruto and his damned obsession with leaving things on his bed.

Naruto didn't answer at once. He was rummaging through his drawers for something. Naruto didn't really know what he was looking for, but then he was mostly doing it to not look Sasuke in the face. "Ah, it's nothing. Just had another interesting talk with Kakashi."

"Care to share?"

"No, not really," Naruto retorted, and finally gave up on the desperate search.

"Okay," Sasuke answered, but there was tinge of disappointment in his tone. Instead he looked at Naruto, and realised how pale he looked. It worried him. Sasuke was about to ask if Naruto was sick when he heard him speak of his own accord. Naruto wasn't looking into Sasuke's face while he did so.

"He told me to break up with Sakura, more or less."

Sasuke paused, and his face remained impassive. But his heart was beating at a rapid pace, and he could feel those feelings of hope fluttering inside him again. "Are you going to?"

Naruto looked up at Sasuke, and his eyes were clouded with despair. Sasuke felt sorry for having asked. He shouldn't have. Not when it was hurting Naruto that much.

"... I'll have to. I just don't know– Look, can we drop this?"

Sasuke didn't respond, and Naruto found himself forced to continue. He was pacing around the room now, walking back and forth in quick, restless steps. "Fuck, Sasuke. I know that you couldn't care less about her feelings, but I do. I love her – I mean, just because I'm not – doesn't mean I don't care for her, you know?"

Sasuke sighed, and closed his eyes. "You're wrong. I don't hate her."

Naruto stopped pacing, and looked at Sasuke in surprise. But surprise quickly gave way to anger and incredulity. He couldn't buy this – Sasuke hated Sakura with a fiery passion. All these months, he'd been nothing but mean and spiteful towards her. He wasn't going to buy this kind of fucking lie. "

Sure. You just can't stand her –" Naruto started bitterly, and turned away from Sasuke.

Sasuke's fingernails dug so hard into his palm that it burned. But he had to say it. He had to, even if his pride was going to suffer.

"You've got it all wrong!" he blurted out, hoping that Naruto would stop acting like a stubborn moron. He had to understand.

"Really? Have I?" Naruto asked, and faced Sasuke again. His lips were tightly pressed against each other, and he looked – Sasuke couldn't describe what he looked like.

"I don't hate her. I just –"

"You just what?" Naruto edged closer to him.

"I just couldn't stand the thought of her being with you," Sasuke replied, and looked away from Naruto. He felt utterly ashamed, so ashamed that it made him want to retch. But then, it was the truth.

Naruto realised this when he saw how rigid Sasuke was, and Sasuke was only that still when in pain. Or when he was utterly mortified. God, he felt like a total jerk now. "You should have told me, Sasuke."

"Told you what?" Sasuke demanded, and his eyes shot up to meet Naruto's. Naruto used this interval to sit down on the bed.

"That you're in love with me," he stated bluntly. "You should have fucking told me. I might have – well, things might have been better for you."

Sasuke snorted. "Yeah sure. So you could reject me. Laugh in my face, or even treat it as a joke."

First, Naruto felt anger and disbelief grab hold of him. How could that bastard even hint at something like that? How could he? But then he understood. Sasuke had been scared. He'd been scared, even though he'd tried to hide it. No matter how strong Sasuke pretended to be, he'd still been scared. Naruto sighed, and felt like slapping himself. He really should have realised sooner, but it was too late to regret it now. The only thing he _could_ do was reassure Sasuke that – well, that he wasn't going to run away from this.

"Sasuke, you moron ... you think so low of me? That I'd make of fun of you? Then, you're not only shit for brains, but the biggest moron in the in the universe," Naruto said, and elbowed Sasuke – not so gently – on the shoulder.

In spite of himself, Sasuke grinned briefly, and then he sent a dirty glare into Naruto's direction.

"You were just always so into Sakura or any other girl–"

"I'm still into girls – but, it doesn't make this any less _real_."

"Naruto-" Sasuke started, but was silenced when Naruto hushed by placing a finger on his lips. Naruto removed his finger from Sasuke's lips, and replaced it with a chaste kiss. Sasuke was about to kiss back, but Naruto broke the kiss as quickly as he'd started it and moved away from the bed

"Hey, now, don't expect a love confession from me. I don't do sentimental shit like that."

Sasuke smirked and threw a you're-kidding-me look before replying: "And don't you think I'm such a sap-brained fool that I'd dig stuff like that."

"Good. Then, we're at least not being totally cliché."

* * *

But, of course, the shit predictably hit the fan when Naruto found himself unable to sleep at night. It wasn't so much the temperature in the room – though he felt hot and restless – nor was is the hard mattress digging into his back nor, hell, the fact that Sasuke was sharing the bed with him. They'd done that more than often before.

Naruto was a normal teenaged boy. And normal teenaged boys occasionally get hard-ons. Sometimes, for no apparent reason at all (he didn't want to think it was because of Sasuke). This hadn't happened –

Well, it had; so there was no reason to make any ruckus about it now. He'd just get up and jerk it off; there was no reason to cause any disturbance. Sasuke would just remain on the bed by himself while Naruto did what was necessary. But damn, it was so hard to get out of bed, especially when he was feeling so idle and his legs seemed to have gained the quality of lead. Besides, it was so dark in the room, and he was sure that he would trip over some stupid manga had that been left to rot on the ground.

But, fuck, it was necessary – a matter of life and death to get up. _Now._

_I'll just get out of bed, and go the bathroom_, Naruto told himself, and then, hoping he wasn't being too loud, did his best to untangle himself from the arm that had been thrown over his face.

_Hell, Sasuke gets way too cuddly in bed._

Unfortunately, by trying to untangle himself, Naruto awoke Sasuke.

"Naruto, why are you moving around?" he asked, with some irritation. He'd just been sleeping that well. Naruto's bed was warm, and Sasuke – no matter how cheesy it sounded – felt safe around Naruto.

"Need bathroom," Naruto responded harshly. "Move your ass. _Now_. "

"Okay," Sasuke said and shifted, allowing Naruto to get up.

Naruto did get up, and then did something completely stupid: he turned the light on, which – of course – meant that Sasuke could see him quite clearly now. But then again, Naruto expected Sasuke to immediately go back to bed. Usually, Sasuke fell asleep again straight away. But not today, apparently.

"You're hard?" Sasuke asked, wincing internally at how incredulous he sounded. Then again, he'd just not expected to ever catch Naruto quite like that.

Naruto froze on the spot. "Don't look at me like that – it happens."

"I know."

"Then let me take care of it. Okay, just shut up!" Naruto nearly roared out, and tried to open the door again. He felt a bit guilty for behaving like this, but – this was way too surreal.

Sasuke swallowed, and breathed deeply. This was stupid. He had no idea what was coming over him. Then again, maybe it was worth a try, and he had nothing to lose. "Naruto, come here."

"Why – well, okay. But be quick," Naruto said, and sat back down on the bed. He yelped in surprise when Sasuke pushed him down.

"Let me do it for you."

"Hey – do what?"

"I'll take care of the hard-on." Sasuke was quite amazed at how controlled he sounded. But he had to be strong now, especially when Naruto looked so utterly flabbergasted.

Naruto's eyes had widened in surprise when he realised what Sasuke was offering and he tried to rise again, but Sasuke pushed him down.

"It's just a hand job. I'll – just let me try.""

"_What?_ No way!"

Naruto sounded so horrified that he made Sasuke cringe. Even if the offer was totally crazy, Naruto didn't have to react quite like this. Sasuke did feel a bit offended. He wasn't going to beg. Nor was he going to force Naruto into this, and though Naruto was protesting, Sasuke could see the curiosity lurking behind the protest. As well as the desire in his eyes. If Naruto had really not wanted it, Sasuke would have been bruised and bleeding by now.

"What's the deal – it's not like haven't you seen naked before."

And well, of course he had – in the showers and all that. They were boys. There wasn't any need to be ashamed about that. Yet, this was different, though for some boys it wasn't anything to be ashamed of, either. Naruto knew that some boys jerked off together and he knew that it wasn't a big deal for them. But Sasuke had never been interested in naked girls and so Naruto had refrained from suggesting that they do something like that together. Then again, he wouldn't really have done something like that with Sasuke because ... well, it was just odd.

Just as odd as this.

"Yeah, but you've never... put hand on – you know where."

God, had Naruto always been this awkward? Sasuke didn't see what he was making such a fuss about; they'd kissed, which in a way was more intimate than anything else. They'd done it more than twice. And Sasuke was more than sure that they could handle this as well. However, looking down at Naruto's flushed face, he felt he had to ask one thing.

"Do you trust me, Naruto?"

Naruto blinked twice. What a stupid question! Trust Sasuke? Of course! He trusted Sasuke with his life. "Yes. But what's–"

"Then just let go," Sasuke whispered, and when Naruto said nothing, he knew it was fine.

Naruto wanted to say _no – fuck no_. But it was too late. He felt the cool hand diving beneath his pyjama pants, then underneath his boxers, and that's exactly when it all went to hell. Or heaven. Because to his utter shock and surprise, it didn't feel half that bad. Then, had he ever expected it to?

No, he hadn't exactly.

Naruto closed his eyes, and, though he tried to avoid it, he was breathing heavily. He gasped from time to time – that was embarrassing. But then he realised he was arching off the bed, and that was – well, more than embarrassing. And he was sweating profusely; he could feel how his shirt was becoming drenched, his forehead was already soaked. The hand grabbing and pumping him was a bit too sweaty as well; he could feel it tremble from time, which told him that Sasuke was just as nervous about this as he was.

Then again, it didn't matter at all because it didn't feel bad; it felt good, even though it was an odd, somewhat awkward sort of good. Because, on one hand, there he was, arching and groaning oddly, and Sasuke's hand moving a little too slow, then a little too fast, but it felt good. Because this was Sasuke doing it too him; those were Sasuke's fingers encasing his cock, and – somewhat clumsily – trying to make him find relief. Sasuke, who scoffed at the mess in his room, was doing this to him. Naruto gulped, and closed his eyes, feeling his heart racing wildly and the blood pulsing quickly in his veins. He was starting to feel better; there were butterflies forming in his stomach, and his breath rate was increasing.

And yet… On the other hand, this wasn't intimate. Like this, Naruto could pretend that this was anyone, and he didn't want that. He wanted to be with Sasuke. He needed Sasuke, not just some relief.

"Sasuke–" Naruto started, but words failed him again. How could you ask something like this without coming across as a total idiot? He didn't know, and that's what made it so difficult.

"What?" Sasuke asked, and stopped what he'd been doing. He could feel Naruto freeze when he did that, but he would have to wait.

"Kiss me. Just fucking do it," Naruto murmured, his voice harsh and desperate. He hated himself for it. He was so damn weak, but then – fuck – he needed it. And no, this wasn't begging or even pleading; it was a command. If Sasuke didn't make a move, then Naruto was more than willing to tackle him and take on the dominating role (make him pay for being so lousy at hand jobs).

But Sasuke kissed him. He started it off slowly, in that lazy, sloppy kind of way which drove Naruto wild. He was still half-hard and tired – and damn, he needed it faster. Naruto shifted his head slightly, deepening the kiss and battling with Sasuke for dominance. But it didn't end there. Sasuke shivered when he felt Naruto's hands reach for his shoulders, pulling him down until they were close. So close that their bodies were nearly brushing against each other, and he could feel the lower regions of their bodies rub against each other; the friction was nearly unbearable, and Sasuke moaned into the kiss, and Naruto broke it – just to say:

"You're hard as well?"

Sasuke felt like slapping Naruto at the moment. Of _course_ he was hard, and it was starting to get really uncomfortable – so uncomfortable that Sasuke really didn't want to waste time on stupid chit-chat. "What does it look like, moron? I'm not made out of stone."

"Damn it, neither am I," Naruto responded gruffly, and Sasuke could see that he was about to lose it. His hair stuck to his forehead, and he was squirming restlessly underneath him.

Sasuke wasn't feeling much better, so he rubbed against Naruto's arousal, and hearing him mutter "damn" did it again.

"Fuck– Naruto–" Sasuke gasped when Naruto started to thrust upwards in frantic motions. Sasuke could only return the favour, and so they moved, both of them coated in sweat, but it didn't matter. Sasuke thought it didn't matter shit. He was feeling _alive_, although the rubbing and thrusting happened too fast and too clumsily and it made him feel dizzy. Because this was _Naruto_ underneath him, _his_ sweat; and the musky smell was his well.

Soon it became too much and Sasuke buried his head between Naruto's shoulders, shaking and sweating; he knew that he wouldn't last much longer. Naruto's grip tightened on him; he could feel fingernails digging into his skin. Sasuke hissed and gasped, and he could hear Naruto doing the same. And then Naruto arched upwards, and Sasuke shuddered.

"Damn, that was – incredible, Naruto."

Naruto didn't say anything, but kissed Sasuke again. Gently, this time, and Sasuke returned the kiss equally gently. And the kiss didn't morph into something hot and passionate this time, either. Instead, they just kissed, slowly and gently. It still felt better than anything else.

* * *

Normally, there would have been something disgusting about this – dozing off when they were both messy, sweat-soaked and what not; it really wasn't necessary to go into details – but Naruto was too tired to care, and Sasuke – well, Sasuke was too content to care. He'd long since abandoned shame in favour of utter contentment, and now lay close to Naruto. They weren't snuggling – no, but they were close. And that was fine.

Naruto had to admit that Sasuke was like purring kitten when he'd been satisfied thoroughly. It was a bit of a shocking revelation, really, because Naruto could only imagine what having sex with Sasuke would mean now. He laughed out softly.

"What is it?" Sasuke inquired.

"I'm just thinking how shocked Kiba would be if he knew how sexually active you are."

"What has he been saying again?" Sasuke asked, while they both lay there, comfortably. Normally, he would have feigned disinterest, but tonight was an exceptional sort of night. So, for once, it was fine to ask.

"Ah, nothing, just that you're an 'erudite'. He meant 'eunuch' though."

Sasuke snorted, and Naruto, although he couldn't see Sasuke all that well now, knew that he was grinning. It was nice to think of that – Sasuke grinning, instead of being upset or furious.

"He's an idiot."

"Hmm, yeah," Naruto agreed.

"You're one as well," Sasuke stated in a bored voice, and smirked at that.

"Hey! Don't forget who just got you off a few minut–" Naruto started.

Sasuke suddenly decided that this was right moment to stop the conversation. Besides, he was too sleepy to argue with Naruto at the moment. "Naruto–"

"What?"

"Turn the light off. I want to sleep."

"_You_ turn it–"

"Naruto," Sasuke started in a warning tone. "Do it, or I'll make sure you'll regret it."

A sleepy Sasuke was a deadly one and Naruto knew that, so he proceeded to as he was told. Because, he sure as hell didn't want to end up angering Sasuke now. Who knew what Sasuke would do?

And as Naruto switched the light off, he realised that, in some way, things _really _hadn't changed at all.

....

_Additional Notes: _

Gosh, longest chapter yes, Hollyoaks does exist and the Craig/John Paul McQueen storyline exists as well. Don't inquire any further on why I know it (I'll just admit to having a thing about watching British boys making out on TV).

Comments would be love – critical or not. Just don't keep silent because that's the only thing that can possibly distress me.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

I am sorry, y' all. I just got terribly lazy with this chapter, and I feel bad for having treated my beta the way I have – it's something that makes me blush. I still don't like this chapter, but just want to upload it and have you decide what it's like.

Thanks for goes to **Out Of Sheol **for bet'ing this. And **Kaikouken** helped me to make this a bit more endurable (and she assured me this wasn't crap XD). I might still make changes to this chapter, as someone else offered to beta this as well (and she's this awesome person who made "Sun Up, Sun Down" what it is).

Yet, I guess you I made you wait long enough...? I really don't care if you flame me since I don't believe in my writing anymore. Sorry if I sound upset. It's the start of university and classes that make me so.

--

The light descended subtly upon the still dark world. First, it was only a line, then more lines appeared until everything was cast in the colours of dawn, which were the following: bright blue, a very gentle hue of orange and sometimes red; these reminded one of water colours – they were that breakable and fragile-looking in their quality. Artists had tried – for centuries – to recapture that simple and tranquil beauty of morning and there were few writers who didn't once in their career describe the glories of morning.

Although, Naruto cared little for how the outside world looked (he was neither an artist nor a poet), he couldn't deny that he loved mornings. He wasn't a morning person maybe, but the arrival of morning still made him feel happy and calmer, as if a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders – and that was only one of the things that he loved.

Maybe because the prospect of morning reminded him that he was alive and that there was still hope to change things. Naruto, like other people his age, unconsciously equalled sleep to death. And to be greeted by – as cliché as it sounded – the first jet of lights descending on the manga and sock-littered floor, his bed and then finally, his own hands and the sheets covering his body, made Naruto happier than anything else.

When he woke up on that Friday morning, Naruto felt happier and more light-headed than he had felt in weeks. He was sated in a way – and it had much to do with the fact that he'd finally, finally realised a few things. It had taken them – him – long enough.

Sasuke, he thought, and then grinned; did it sheepishly at first, but his grin widened as he recalled that they'd reached more than just an understanding. Things between them were, as far he was concerned, settled. In the back of his mind, Naruto knew that there was still one big gaping hole in their new-found happiness. He knew that, once the novelty of the moment subsided, there would be consequences to pay and things to challenge (and God knew, how many problems to face).

But for now, who really cared?

This was Sasuke: Sasuke's smell, his hair and his body that was he was feeling next to his. Naruto felt his heartbeat quicken, and he flushed slightly when he recalled what they done during the night. The evidence was still there, and he knew that Sasuke was going to freak out over it. He felt a bit disgusted himself and felt that he needed a shower quite badly.

But for now, holding on to the moment was just fine.

Sasuke was still asleep though, as he could tell from the breathing and the relaxed state of his body. He looked cute, Naruto thought, but that didn't change the fact that they had to get up. However, as he looked at how Sasuke's messy hair fell against his forehead and made him look susceptibility more vulnerable, he thought that maybe it was worth it remaining like this.

"Hey, let's skip school," Naruto breathed into Sasuke's ear, liking how the other boy – briefly – shuddered and how his body stiffened even more noticeably. So, breathing into someone's ear sent shudders down his spine. Naruto hadn't known that, but it was something to remember for the future.

Sasuke's still sleep-ridden nerves immediately flared up. "Are you nuts?"

"No. You are. For always being so stingy about this," Naruto muttered, and stuck out this tongue. School, as far as he was concerned, could go and die in a fire. He didn't see how wasting eight hours listening to teachers go on about history or other crap was going to make him any more adept at survival. Or how cramming his brain with countless formulae was going to make him any wittier. If he wanted to know more about history, he would have read it up himself. He didn't need any teachers for that.

"Yes, but-" Sasuke started, immediately preparing himself for a lecture that emphasised the importance of attending lessons, even if they dragged on and put one to sleep. Still, in his opinion, they were necessary and important – especially now, with the impending word "graduation" looming over their heads. Why Naruto didn't take those things seriously was beyond him. Maybe, he was too anxious, but then again Sasuke knew people who ended up getting chronically depressed over this. So, to be fair, he was doing quite fine.

"Nothing's going on anymore," Naruto insisted, and pulled the bed sheets over his head again. He was right indeed: few things were noteworthy about lessons anymore and attendance wasn't even compulsory. Clever people, like him, stayed at home and took notes from the idiots – like Sasuke – who attended.

Naruto did what he'd recently found out was the best way to get Sasuke to stop talking. The kiss was lazy, and Naruto took his time to explore the other's boy mouth, not minding the fact neither of them had brushed their teeth yet. So, it did taste funny: Sasuke's lips were drier and more chapped than usual and it wasn't exactly a picnic.

Sasuke hadn't pushed him away, but he did cast a dirty look at Naruto when they broke apart; he wiped his mouth in disgust and made a face. Naruto just laughed; amused that he was making such a fuss over this. Well, maybe Sasuke was a bit right.

"This was the most appalling thing ever. Seriously," Sasuke commented dryly, and shook his head indignantly. "I mean, why would do something that disgusting?"

"I like kissing you," Naruto stated simply and smiled goofily.

Sasuke was about to smirk back, but then it hit him. This wasn't right, not yet. It was too early to act like two love-struck idiots; though, to be honest, Sasuke wouldn't ever allow himself to go that low. Besides, they needed to leave – a quick, furtive glance at the alarm clock situated on top of two hard dictionaries that Naruto never used told him as much as that.

"As much as you enjoy kissing her?"

Naruto stiffened at the mention of Sakura, and sat up in bed abruptly; he'd forgotten her for the time being, and the sudden mention of her existence – and the problems it brought with it – felt like being hit in the stomach. Naruto felt worse and worse with every growing second. Gone were the hazy thoughts of new-found ease he'd found with Sasuke and equally gone was the light-headedness – it was replaced by a sinking feeling of something like nausea.

Sakura. Damn it, Naruto recalled how he'd – very rudely and brusquely – hung up on her a day before. He hadn't even bothered to apologise, and – the more he thought about it – Naruto wasn't sure how he was going to face her.

"I told you I'd break up with her," Naruto started, and sighing again, added, "I'll probably do it today. I don't want her to find out that it's over by other means."

Sasuke nodded. He knew what Naruto meant, and an image of Sakura walking in on them – him and Naruto kissing or doing something more – flashed through his brain. No, as much as it would have relieved him for her to find out like that, Sasuke knew that it would have been unfair towards Sakura. And yet, he also hated how Naruto was beating himself up over this. No matter how much Sasuke denied it, he knew that Naruto cared for Sakura and didn't wish to hurt her intentionally.

Sasuke felt like saying something, so he whispered: "I'm sorry."

Naruto looked up at him and frowned. "For what?"

"I guess for the mess I've caused," Sasuke admitted, and he felt it was a half-truth. He had made life hard for Naruto, especially when he'd insulted Sakura or made Naruto feel bad about spending time with her.

"You didn't do anything," Naruto said and felt that if anyone should be apologising it was him. He'd been the one who'd been getting things rolling into action – Naruto had been the one to come rushing back and kiss Sasuke. Of course, Sasuke had participated, but Naruto didn't want him to think it was his fault. Indeed, Naruto had the sneaking suspicion that nothing would have happened, if he hadn't done anything. Sasuke would have probably kept silent until his tongue dropped off.

"I know."

"Then why did you say 'sorry'?"

"Because it sounded good to say it," Sasuke said, and then shrugged. He wasn't sure how he felt really – things had happened so quickly and inexplicably that the only emotions he was currently experiencing were that of confusion and surprise. And there was something else – he also felt more comfortable in his skin these days.

Naruto threw a pillow at Sasuke. "You're strange."

"And you aren't?" Sasuke demanded, not bothering to hide the self-satisfied smirk that appeared on his face. He could have gone on about how Naruto liked to drink his tea cold, and how he never seemed to function properly without eating ramen, but then Sasuke also had his quirks.

"Whatever. I'll go take a bath," Naruto just replied, and rose from the bed. He cringed when he felt how sticky his clothes were, and how much his legs were protesting. His head was feeling heavy as well, and Naruto had to support himself on the wall for a fraction of a second. Damn it, he was feeling old already, and he wasn't even in his early twenties yet.

"I'll take a shower first," Naruto said, as he stretched out as his arms and then rummaged his drawer for a few clothes. He paused. "That's fine with you, Sasuke?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Good," Naruto said, flashing a happy grin as he made his way to the door. But before he left, he heard Sasuke say:

"Don't leave the floor all wet - I don't want to slip just because you're so damned messy."

"Yes, your highness."

"And Naruto? I have no intention of skipping school."

Naruto groaned, but didn't say anything in return. He'd find a way to avoid going to school. Sasuke was just saying this to make him angry.

***

Unfortunately, Naruto, being Naruto, couldn't quite outwit Sasuke and thus, they ended up being in school. Perhaps, on that day, it wasn't as much of a waste on others.

Naruto had half a mind to strangle Sasuke after they were through with this. The teacher's voice droned on listlessly while Naruto scribbled various sketches of nonsensical things into his notebook: a graveyard, Mount Fuji and rows and rows of trees. He particularly liked drawing the trees because they were versatile. You had crooked trees, trees shooting up to the sky or small, wiry trees that were pitiably tiny.

Minato, his father, also teased him about being a good artist, but Naruto didn't see it as anything more than to pass the time with. Sometimes, he had those concepts in his brain – mental images of beautiful art laid out in canvas – but he'd never as much as even attempted to sit down and try his hand making those concepts reality.

He laid his pen down, and his gaze travelled to Sasuke who sat a few rows away from him. He could see how Sasuke's face was scrunched up in concentration, and he was nibbling his pencil – a bad habit, which Sasuke had been indulging in since he was a kid.

_So, Sasuke is focused on the lesson_, Naruto thought and sighed. This was going to be a long day. He returned to his sketches, and whistled silently when he saw that – this time – the drawings weren't half bad. Probably a bit rushed and unclean-looking, but not half-bad.

"Naruto Uzumaki, please read the first sentence on page 68 aloud."

Naruto's attention from his sketches was immediately broken. He looked up and saw the professor's ugly face. He had this no-nonsense expression on his face, which immediately alerted Naruto to the immediacy of the situation.

What? They'd been reading something. Naruto choked, and nearly cursed out loud. He didn't even have the book open. And when looked at Sasuke, he saw him smirking.

"I'm sorry, sir. I – haven't really been paying attention," Naruto said in nearly squeaky tone, and he had to keep himself from laughing hysterically. There was something funny in this, really.

Of course, what followed his honest exclamation was another lecture on how the hell he wanted to pass his final examinations if he never paid attention in class and other boring toss. By the end of the tirade, Naruto's ears were red and he was pretty sure that everyone in the class was pointing fingers at him. Idiots. He knew that at least half of them weren't any better than he was.

He really hated school. Stupid Sasuke for dragging him here.

Shikamaru was staring holes into the wall. This was something he did all the time, and Naruto really didn't understand what was so special about the walls in this small, smelling of chalk and sweaty trainers, school-room. The walls were a bland white, and there was nothing to adorn them instead of a black pin-board with nothing nailed on it, ironically. Indeed, this classroom had little use, and that was to make reprobate students with a tendency to either skip classes or sleep during them to catch up on what they'd missed out. Naruto fell into the category of the former, and Shikamaru belonged to second category. There were other students present as well – tall, bulky kids who looked like future criminals. However, Naruto wasn't acquainted with any of them. He only knew Shikamaru, and that was good.

Naruto cursed, and asked himself again what he was doing here. There was nothing special here. Apart from the teacher – she was hot.

She fit that cliché of "fuckable sensei" to a T, and what made her even more damnable was that she wore really short skirts. Kiba had told Naruto that she had been recently divorced and was on the lookout for a new man. Rumours also had it that she liked younger men. Naruto, while licking his lips, thought it was a shame that he was kind of a taken already. Otherwise, he wouldn't have minded having a few extra lessons with that beautiful and charming creature. He hadn't stopped liking women just because he'd started kissing Sasuke. Doing and liking one thing didn't cancel the other out. It wasn't like he'd thought about Sakura and him bed. It wasn't like her touch disgusted him. She just wasn't Sasuke.

And that woman, for the record, was nothing but eye-candy.

Being able to drool at her was the only good thing about being here. Otherwise, this was boring and dumb as hell. Yet, Naruto knew if he cut these classes as well, he'd be in deep trouble, and Naruto wanted to avoid unnecessary conflicts as much as possible. Another few months, and he wouldn't have to bother at all anymore. Naruto knew that universities were much more lenient about not attending lectures and such. Hell, he knew that Itachi didn't attend most of his lectures, but still passed his exams with flying colours. Of course, the main reason why he wasn't at home most of the time was because he was either working or out with friends. Naruto knew that Itachi -- like Sasuke in some ways – avoided being home because of his father.

"Uzumaki! Are you paying attention?"

Naruto's attention, which had been briefly focused on all those cheery thoughts, piped up, and he gritted his teeth. "Yes, it's only a bit stuffy in here."

And it was. The windows had probably not been opened for hours, and the oppressive smell of chalk and rotting apples was attacking his nostrils quite harshly.

....

"And he just hung up? That's kind of unlike him," Ino exclaimed loudly, her voice having risen to nearly embarrassing volumes because she was that excited. They were alone in the classroom; the bell announcing recess had rung some twenty minutes ago.

Sakura hadn't intended to say anything at all, really. But then Ino had goaded it out of her, and Sakura asked herself whether it was so apparent that she was upset. Then again, lately, she felt that her emotions were all over the place, bouncing back and forth and making her head hurt like a bitch. Sakura felt she was going to burst soon.

"I know, and that's what worries me most. That it's so unlike him."

"Do you think that he might be upset or anything?"

"I don't know what. Do you think it was wrong to push him?"

Ino sighed loudly. "You two weren't going anywhere, Sakura. I mean, at times I think you and Naruto aren't really dating at all – I mean, I'm not saying boys are just after one thing, but if your boyfriend treats you like a sister, there's something off."

Sakura buried her head in her book and groaned; she hated how Ino always hit the nail on the head. It was nearly as if she were her subconscious, blurting out the deepest, dirtiest and most shameful inner desires. Then again, Sakura knew that Ino, unlike so many people she knew, just used her common-sense.

Sakura was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she nearly missed the fact that Ino was talking to her.

"I don't want to say this, but -"

Ino hesitated and bit her lower lip. Then, she turned away from Sakura briefly and seemed to think about something else – her attention was fixed on the now clean blackboard, and then she turned to inspecting her fingernails, which were as perfectly clean and well-manicured as usual. She'd taken care to look good today, even if Naruto didn't care.

"But what?" Sakura probed. She needed to know, even if the truth was going to hurt. There was no point in prolonging things because that would only lead to chaos later on.

"I think you should break up with him, Sakura. It's – I think if you stay with him, you're only going to get hurt."

"But he's not that kind of guy. Naruto would never hurt anyone," Sakura insisted, though it amazed her how foolish she sounded to her own ears. She sounded like all those dumb women on the TV serials her mother watched – the women who were in denial about themselves and their boyfriends.

"Yes, I know that Naruto's a good guy. But you're not happy," Ino said, and Sakura looked away, partly in shame and partly in fury. She couldn't believe how mean her best friend was being to her right now; they'd come here to chit-chat about fashion, not serious issues. Besides, this wasn't the sort of conversation Sakura liked to have after a two hour long exam: her brain wasn't functioning properly, and she couldn't up with the proper remarks to defend herself.

Come on, you can't tell me you're happy!"

"I am -"

There was a sound of a book being slammed down harshly on the desk; Ino had driven it with full force down on the table. This time, her expression wasn't placid as it had been before. No, on the contrary, Ino's face was scrunched up in anger, and what was worse, she was shaking her fist.

"You're not... but you deserve to be. But ever since you've started dating Naruto, you're either worrying over how it's hurting Sasuke or how he's not spending enough time with you."

"You don't understand. And I never said that he spends too much time with Sasuke."

"But you're jealous. You're envious that, in the long run, he seems closer to Sasuke than you."

"They're best friends," Sakura threw in lamely, knowing from the get-go that this was the silliest thing she could have thrown in. Hell, only mentioning that they were boys would have been dumber.

"So are Chouji and Shikamaru. You know, they're inseparable, but Shikamaru still manages to make Temari feel that she's his special person. And you know how he is. I don't think she feels like the third wheel in their relationship."

"So, you're saying that I should be the centre of his world or something?" Sakura inquired, furrowing her eyebrows. She wasn't sure that she wanted Naruto's world to revolve around her. While it was a flattering notion, it also unnerved her a bit. That wasn't necessarily love, but obsession. The last thing Sakura needed was Naruto to be unhealthily obsessed about her.

"No, you don't get my point. You don't get what I'm driving at all," Ino remarked somewhat dully, and buried her face between her hands. Sakura huffed at that, but immediately felt guilty. She knew very well that her friend meant well; Ino wasn't the sort of person to say things without meaning.

And yet, in this case, Ino was wrong. Sakura very well knew what Ino was driving at – she'd probably known all along. It wasn't like she was that blind; Sakura had just preferred not to think about it. Sometimes things were better kept in the dark.

"Sakura, I'm just worried that, when it boils down to things, Naruto isn't going to choose you. That, even if he claims to love you and all, he's not what you need or want even."

All of a sudden, Sakura let the book slide onto the desk. She felt sick to her stomach, and if common sense hadn't prevented it, she would have torn out her hair in frustration.

***

The wind blew fiercely, and yellowing leaves fell down on the gravel floor. Sakura could feel the cold; it was all around her and her reddened cheeks were blistering. A cold gust of wind had been blasting against her face for the past half an hour or so. She'd messaged Naruto to meet her, and there was still no sight of him. One of these days, she thought grimly, she'd make him pay for his late-coming habits.

Yet, it still wasn't dark, and Sakura was glad for that. Moreover, she was also relieved that there was no rain soaking her clothes – that would have been a downer.

She looked down at the book, and ran her fingers over the hard cover, marvelling how something so simple – so meaningless, really – could have provided her with many so many hours of pleasure. It was a Jane Austen book. Sakura hated reading romances, but she'd made an exception for "Pride and Prejudice", which wasn't as sappy or badly written as the harlequin romances her classmates devoured.

When she looked up, she saw Naruto jogging towards the bench. His cheeks were reddened, and he was clutching at his stomach; his breaths came out in heavy, irregularly fast huffs and grunts. He'd probably been running like a madman.

"I'm sorry. I had make-up classes," he said in a hoarse tone, and Sakura immediately felt her anger subside. She knew that Naruto was a notorious non-attendee of lessons, and that he had to take part in extra lessons, so that he wouldn't be expelled. He really was an interesting sort of idiot. Sakura opened her mouth to utter some sort of reprimand, but then decided otherwise. Somehow, it didn't seem right at the moment, and Sakura wasn't up to doing it.

"Still, it's good you made it, Naruto. I nearly thought you wouldn't come."

"We could have met in the evening, Sakura," Naruto finally said; he was sounded a bit irritated – and well, he was irritated. His head still hurt from the amount of information he'd been bombarded with during class, and meeting up with Sakura wasn't making things any easier.

Sakura shook her head, and motioned Naruto to take a seat next to her on the bench. Naruto nodded, and the bench creaked slightly under his weight. Taking a deep breath, Sakura took another glance at the book, then laid it aside and turned her attention on Naruto; his hair was ruffled, and she could see that he was still slightly out of breath.

"Did something happen?" Naruto asked in a concerned tone, and for the first time since he'd arrived, inspected Sakura closely. She looked calm enough; however, the more he inspected her, the more some things struck him as being suspicious: Sakura's eyes were red, there was no sign of laughter or merriment in her voice, and Sakura's fingernails were clawing a little too violently at the material of her jacket. Also, she was wearing less make-up than usual, and hadn't initiated a kiss. Normally, she'd have kissed his cheek in greeting at least. Naruto's inner alarm bells immediately started ringing. Something was wrong – seriously wrong.

Sakura knew that Naruto's eyes were on her; she could sense it, and it was that that caused her to shift uncomfortably on the bench, which was hard and cold. And what was worse, it was so silent here -- she could hear nothing but leaves bustling above her and the wind whipping and whooshing through the branches.

Perhaps, it would have been better to meet at a restaurant. The noise would have drowned out the buzzing in her ears.

_Be still my heart_, Sakura thought and held on to her book protectively. It was so hard; she hadn't expected it to be that hard. And still, in spite of it all, she had to get over with this. After all, they'd been playing pretend for too long. Even if it was hard, even if some part of her protested vehemently against it, Sakura found her voice.

"Naruto, do you love me?"

"Yes-"

This wasn't what she wanted to hear. It wasn't what she needed to hear. Sakura knew that Naruto loved her. He'd told her as much from the get-go.

"No, let me rephrase it: Are you in love with me?"

_Would you give every second of your life to me, Naruto? Am I the one person you can't live without? _

She needed to know if Naruto's heart ached if he wasn't by her side. She wanted to know if she was special -- the centre of his world. For once, Sakura wanted to be selfish because she was human and every human deserved to be selfish, once in a while.

It shouldn't have been like this. He'd had planned it – thoroughly and carefully, Naruto had planned it. He'd meant to tell her carefully, somehow make her understand that she just wasn't what he wanted. He'd never wanted her to find out like this.

But then Naruto couldn't keep up the façade any longer. Kakashi had been right: prolonging this – this stupid and awful lie – wouldn't be good.

"No, I'm not," he answered, and a part of him died when Sakura's eyes flickered with evident devastation, and her expression turned morbidly blank. She looked down, and cracked her knuckles. The book had fallen from her lap. Naruto had never felt more like shit.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to love you so-"

_I wanted to love you so badly, but it was never enough. _

"No, you're not. You're not sorry," Sakura insisted, and Naruto watched with helplessness how the first signs of visible tears were forming in her brilliantly green eyes. He knew that she'd been suppressing them to this point – Sakura wasn't the type of girl to break out crying for no reason at all. She was strong and it was a trait he both feared and admired in her – admired because he knew few people who were that strong, and feared because -

He was breaking it now. He was breaking her strength. With every growing moment, Naruto knew that he was robbing Sakura of so many things she'd taken for granted.

"You're just saying this now to cheer me up, but deep down you're not really sorry."

"But you're so -"

"Oh stop it! Spare me the empty niceties of how intelligent, special or beautiful I am. They mean nothing to me, Naruto. Nothing because I'm nothing to you!"

She couldn't help it. Tears were rolling down her face, and Sakura knew that she was shuddering. But she couldn't have calmed herself because she felt like being torn apart. It was so pathetic and stupid to cry in front of a guy, and some part of her was berating her.

"I'm nothing to you. And no matter how hard I try to pretend that you care, you don't. And the stupid thing is that I think you did once, but I was blind then. So now, when I finally really do love you, it's -"

Naruto had to stop her.

"It's not your fault, Sakura. I guess, we just weren't meant to be. Or something like that."

"It's always been Sasuke, hasn't it?"

"What?" Naruto sputtered dumbly. He should have asked "how did you know?", but his brain wasn't able to compute the new information quite well yet. A part of him wanted to deny it, say that it was all wrong and that Sakura must have read too many boys' love manga; however, that wasn't going to make things better. Sooner or later, she'd find out. Naruto figured that it was better if he said the truth. If only it wasn't so hard. If only he didn't feel so awful about having to do this.

"You don't have to lie to me. I know that he loves you, and I know that, whatever has been going on recently, has been going on with him."

"You're right. We've ... sort of gotten together, I guess," Naruto confessed, and it then struck him that – whatever he had with Sasuke – was really a relationship. Maybe, they'd been in one, after all. Only that they hadn't added any kissing to it.

"Have you slept with him?" Sakura asked.

Naruto answered before thinking: "No, not yet."

Sakura laughed at that, but it was bitter laugh. Her tone held no amusement when she spoke. "Wow, you sure move fast with him."

Fuck, he was an idiot. Then, it wasn't like he'd done it on purpose.

"Sakura ... I don't want you to hate me, Sakura. I don't want to lose you. Please tell me that ..."

"You're an idiot, Naruto. Such a stupid, stupid idiot. You won't lose me."

"But you're -"

Hurt. He could see that Sakura was hurt and that no matter what he said or did, she'd probably remain upset for a while. Naruto hated it. She was crying because of him.

"I'll be upset for a while. But you won't lose me. You haven't lost me," Sakura said, watching how Naruto didn't – couldn't – react. He remained dead-silent.

Something inside of Sakura snapped like a twig. "I have to go now – I just can't stay here anymore!"

She pushed Naruto away from her, and hastily sat up from the bench. With alarming frenzy, Sakura put the dog-eared and half tattered book into her bag and then – without dropping so much as a glance at Naruto – ran off. Naruto didn't stop her.

Instead, he remained seated on that blasted bench for a while, and when it grew colder, Naruto only pulled the sleeves of his jacket so that they covered his hands. But it didn't work and Naruto was forced to put his hands into the pockets of his jacket. The wind was blowing even more fiercely now, but his cheeks were protected by the hood he'd pulled over his head.

There was no need to mention that things were over between them. Judging by the way things had gone between them, Naruto was pretty sure that Sakura wasn't going to invite him over her house when her parents weren't around anymore. He felt relieved by that; he didn't have to break his poor brain over that problem anymore, but still it shocked and unnerved him that he didn't find himself feeling as free and elated as he'd hoped to find himself.

So, the problem was gone.

Sasuke was sitting on Naruto's bed, leaning against the wall quite comfortably, and in the process of re-reading the manga series he'd taken quite a liking to. It was one of Naruto's manga.

The door opened all of a sudden, and Sasuke quickly hid the manga from sight. There was no knowing what Naruto would do if he found out that he liked that sort of series. But, to his surprise and somewhat relief, it was only Naruto's father – Minato. But that was even more reason for Sasuke to quickly put the book into his bag, which he'd – wisely – placed right beside the bed.

"I'm sorry. I thought Naruto was here with you," the man said in an apologetic tone. Sasuke – again – felt a bit surprised, and embarrassed: he didn't deserve that sort of respect, and didn't see why a man of his age would be so full of deference to a snotty teen like Sasuke. His father, Sasuke thought, would have never been that modest; he always snapped at people, instead.

Sometimes, Sasuke wondered why Naruto spent time at his house when he had it so good here. Then again, he figured that everyone tended to get fed up with their home from time to time.

"He should come back soon. His make-up classes ended a while ago," Sasuke said, and continued to hide the slight anger from arising in his voice. He'd told Naruto time and time again to stop being a moron and finally attend classes regularly, but – alas – Naruto was stubborn.

Oh well. Sasuke shouldn't have really cared – it wasn't his concern whether Naruto wasted his hours sleeping in the morning or playing video games. It just angered him that Naruto took things so lightly at times.

"Ah, I know. That's why I'd hoped to see him."

Sasuke smiled in return – it wasn't something he could avoid doing. Minato just had that sort of charm. One couldn't be grim around him.

"Actually, do you mind if I sit down for a bit?" Minato asked, waiting for Sasuke to give him his assent to sit down beside him on the bed.

Sasuke smiled again. "I don't mind at all."

Minato sat down. "You know, Naruto's been confiding a lot in Kakashi recently. Mostly about his relationship with Sakura – and—"

He stopped here, and seemed nearly ashamed to continue. Sasuke waited for the man to pick up courage again. Maybe, it wasn't so much courage. Minato just didn't seem to like overwhelming people with news.

"About you. He's been talking – indirectly – a lot about you, and the fact that he might like you as ... well, more than a friend."

Sasuke coughed discretely, and flushed slightly. He'd expected this, but it was still incredibly awkward. At least, Sasuke wasn't alone on this: he could see that Minato was just as uncomfortable talking about it as he was. That was the one major difference between Naruto and his father. Naruto was brash and rude, while Minato was composed, rather quiet and tactful. Then again, Naruto used to tell him that his personality was somewhat a replica of his mother's, and not Minato's.

"I guess, I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but then Naruto's my son and ... I guess, I'm a bit overprotective. Maybe, I'm also jealous that he's talking to Kakashi, instead of me."

Sasuke looked at Minato closely this time, and it struck him how much that man loved his son. It was all in his eyes, and the way he was pouting. It was even in the way he talked: he always talked tenderly and warmly of Naruto and Kakashi, in this pleasant manner as kids would talk of chocolate factories or Christmas.

"No, I'm sure he's only doing this to spare you a major headache. Naruto's an idiot and it takes someone like – hmm – Kakashi to deal with him. Besides, though Naruto claims to hate Kakashi's antics, it's not hard to see that they're very attached to each other."

"Yes, Kushina died when Naruto was still very small, and Kakashi has been around since then. Of course, it took a while until we – me and Kakashi, that is – got together, but Naruto has known him his whole life, practically."

"That's good – he's lucky. To have people care for him like that," Sasuke said, and felt sad for a second. He remembered the silliest of things – like how jealous he'd been as a child of Naruto having such a warm home as this. He still was – and that was humiliating.

"You're not alone, either. Maybe, I'm not the person to say this, but I think your brother cares a lot for you. Naruto tells me how Itachi always seems to look out for you."

"Itachi – yes. My mother too, but I'm not sure about my father."

"I'm sure he cares. It's just not so easy for some people to show that they care. But I'm sure he cares. You're a really good boy, Sasuke."

"Minato-san," Sasuke started, but the words died on his lips. He wasn't sure what to say. "Thank you" seemed appropriate, but Sasuke felt way more than just thankful: he was touched, honestly baffled and felt that he'd always remember this moment with relish and delight. It wasn't often that people talked to him like that or called him "good". Naruto called him a bastard, Itachi mocked him, albeit playfully and his father – Sasuke was lucky if his father acknowledged him at all. Sasuke and Itachi had stopped existing for his father ever since their mother had left them. And Sasuke saw his mother too rarely. Sasuke realised at that moment that the reason why he'd never told Naruto his true feelings was because he'd been scared. He's been so scared of losing Naruto and all that encompassed being his friend.

"And I'm glad that Naruto has you."

Minato patted him lightly on the shoulder again, and smiled – this time, the smile reminded Sasuke of Naruto because it was warm and light-hearted; it was also contagious. Sasuke smiled, a little reluctantly, in return and then looked down at the floor. Somehow, showing that much emotion just didn't sit well with him, and it was bit embarrassing, no matter what. Damn it, Sasuke thought, damn it.

His hands had meanwhile taken to playing with the string falling down from the hood attached to his sweatshirt. He stopped, and then looked down at his hands – he just couldn't meet Minato's gaze.

"I have to leave now. There's a teacher's meeting I have to attend."

Sasuke only nodded, and then Minato walked out – but not before closing the door with a gentle, inaudible click.

By the time Naruto returned, it was dark – pitch-dark. If it hadn't been for the rows and rows of neon lamps and the lights shining out of opened windows, he'd have been surrounded by utter and desolate darkness. But then, Naruto figured, it kind of set an atmosphere, and really fit his mood; he smiled grimly, and threw a brief – nearly hateful – glance at one of the buildings looking down at him, and chewed on his lips. It was too bad that there wasn't any dramatic music blaring out of some jukebox -- that would have just accentuated how fucking bad he felt.

Naruto wanted to go home. Yet, at the same time, he just wanted to crawl under some ditch, and hide there until everyone and everything disappeared. Then, where could he really go to? Sure, he could spend the night at Kiba's or Shikamaru's, but these options – the longer Naruto thought about them – didn't fare well with him. They'd expect him to be uppity cheerful or even boastful, and that just wasn't what Naruto needed. Or wanted.

He wasn't far from home. A few steps, and a trot up the staircase, would lead to the apartment, which he'd regarded as a haven and protection from the nasty horrors coming from outside.

Sasuke was there, Naruto suddenly realised. He'd told him to wait for him there, and Sasuke was probably just doing that – waiting, while flicking through some book or thing Naruto shouldn't know he was fond of reading.

Idiot, Naruto thought, Sasuke should know that he couldn't hide anything from him. Naruto's grin quickly disappeared from his face though, as another wave of nausea hit him.

Sasuke, damnit. He'd hurt him as well. Sometimes Naruto thought he wasn't good at anything, but hurting the ones he'd loved. But he was going to do it differently with Sasuke.

Then again, part of this – a great chunk of this whole fucking mess – was Sasuke's fault.

...

Naruto didn't even greet Sasuke, but marched over to where the other boy was sitting and pushed him down the bed, pinning Sasuke with the weight of his body on the mattress. The bed creaked, and Sasuke let out a hiss of protest.

"Naruto - what the—?"

Naruto slammed his lips against Sasuke's, effectively silencing him; he didn't give Sasuke a chance to protest, and – by nibbling his teeth against Sasuke's lower lip, biting so hard that he was nearly drawing blood – he forced his mouth open. He could hear Sasuke moan into his mouth, as he shoved his tongue in, he'd never kissed someone that aggressively before, but it felt good. Sasuke lips were dry. His mouth was hot and his body was squirming under his; he could feel Sasuke's hipbones digging into his own.

He wasn't thinking. Naruto had lost any sense of self, but drowned in the taste of Sasuke, and enjoyed how close they were right now. He needed to be close to someone now – anything to forget the pain.

Naruto broke the kiss, only to latch on Sasuke's neck with renewed vigour. He pushed Sasuke down the bed, pining him with his weight as he continued nuzzling the other's neck – licking and scraping his teeth lightly against the sensitive skin.

He was gasping, and groaning; Naruto could feel how Sasuke's body was squirming under his own – he didn't know whether it was out of desire or shock. Probably both. Damn it, Naruto thought as he buried his face in Sasuke's neck, he was so warm; Sasuke's entire body was warm, and his shaky breaths were hot against his ear. And his body was so hard and taut – Naruto could feel Sasuke's hip bones against his own, and feel how the other's chest was heaving. Naruto wondered if he'd hear Sasuke's heart hammering wildly against his ribcage if he laid his head on the boy's chest.

"Naruto, this – it doesn't feel right."

But Sasuke's protests fell on deaf ears. Naruto's hands dived under Sasuke's belt. Sasuke had touched him down there yesterday. Sure it was fine if he touched him there too, wasn't it?

"Stop it!" Sasuke nearly yelled, and pushed Naruto away; his eyes were flashing in anger, and Naruto rubbed the spot where he'd been hit; it was a nearly burning sensation.

"You didn't have to punch me, bastard," Naruto said snappishly, and continued to rub the aching spot. Damn, Sasuke's knuckles had landed right there where it hurt the most – and Naruto felt like getting something cold and icy to make the stinging sensation disappear.

Sasuke huffed angrily. "Well, you just didn't stop."

"I thought you'd like it," Naruto snapped. Was this what Sasuke had wanted?

"I do, but not like this. Not when you're acting so - I don't know even know how to describe it!" Sasuke nearly shouted. He backed against the wall, breathing heavily. forced himself to calm down, and remember that something had to be seriously wrong. Sasuke curled his hands to a fist as he watched Naruto: he was biting his underlip and his eyes looked hollow – haunted nearly.

"Naruto, what happened?" Sasuke asked, and he looked so worried. So incredibly worried that Naruto's heart nearly froze – and he felt like falling apart. He'd been holding it all back till now. When Sakura had cried and cried in front of him, Naruto hadn't broken down, even though each word of hers had been like a knife stabbing him in the guts.

And then, without warning, Naruto started to shake. He felt feverish. Yet, at the same time, it was so chilly in the room, and he felt goosebumps running all the way down his spine. His teeth were clattering, and he was shivering so hard that Sasuke was quite anxious.

Sasuke had no idea what was going on, after all.

"I—I broke up with her. I made Sakura cry. I – fuck," Naruto stammered out in a rush, feeling that his head would explode if he didn't pronounce the words now.

"You did?" Sasuke asked, and although his tone betrayed no emotion, Naruto knew by looking up into those dark eyes that he was startled – shocked even. Sasuke hadn't meant to do it, perhaps, but his eyes had widened perceptibly, and his jaw was clenched.

"Yes, I did. And it just proves – it just proves – that I'm nothing but ... a ..."

Monster, he wanted to say. He was a monster.

He couldn't even string sentences together, and before Naruto realised what he was doing he was actually crying. It was unmanly, yes. It was stupid as well. It was an entire list of things Naruto would have laughed at if he'd been a mere observer of the event. But then, he couldn't help it: Naruto felt so – there were no words. There was something clawing in his stomach, and his throat was dry; his heart hurt, and his head was pounding because so many accusations were flashing like a steam engine through his thoughts. His legs were shaky; he wanted to sit down.

Although there was a lamp glowing above them, Sasuke felt like the room had gotten darker; he could see how shadows – probably coming from the bed lamp he'd switched on – were playing on the walls. Naruto himself nearly looked like a shadow now; his features were rendered nearly unreadable in the darkness that surrounded them.

Sasuke did the only thing he could think of.

"Naruto. Naruto, listen to me. Listen to me."

Naruto looked up briefly, and he looked forlorn and lost; Naruto had never looked like this before. Sasuke realised that it was utterly wrong for someone so upbeat and usually cheerful like Naruto be so upset – there wasn't anything beautiful about him crying right now.

"Come here," Sasuke said and when Naruto didn't come, Sasuke rose from the bed with a creak and pulled the other boy into a hug. Naruto's hands immediately wandered to his back and held on to Sasuke tightly.

"It's not your fault, Naruto. It's not your fault," he said.

"Isn't it?" Naruto asked, and then fell silent.

...

I apologise if this is utter garbage. This chapter was hard to write. I think the emotions in it killed me. The lime part isn't steamy, but I'm reserving the hotness for the epilogue. Which should come out soon, seeing how smut is all I write these days ***coughs***.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **

Sorry, it obviously took me more than just a while to update this. I'm kind of out of fandom, and writing Naruto fanfiction was/is painful to me. However, since I'd promised to never leave a story abandoned, I tried my best to wrap up any loose threads. So, this is story is finished, however badly.

Thanks goes to **Out of Sheol **for bet'ing this chapter – and the whole story for me. I'm really indebted to her for making this story more coherent and readable.

All feedback is appreciated (unless you're a total arse and start ranting about seme/uke dynamics, or anything equally stupid).

...

The neighbour was going at it again. But instead of listening to Coolio or any other rapper, he'd lately developed a weird affinity for classical music – mostly Beethoven. Naruto suspected it was because the idiot had watched "A Clockwork Orange" and that, in order to be more like Alex De Large, he'd started to listen to that one particular symphony. Now, that was all fine and dandy (since there's nothing condemnable about developing a passion for classical music), only that it was driving Naruto bonkers. Indeed, it was driving him more than simply bonkers, he was losing it because it had been going on for hours. The music vibrated his eardrums like an incessant drumbeat, thunderous and intense in its wrath.

If it would only stop. Naruto rubbed his temples, feeling sweat trickle down his forehead. The music – it was awful. Slam! Naruto drove his fist against the hard wall, hitting it so hard that a bit of plaster came off and whitened his knuckles. A burning sensation took hold over Naruto's knuckles. Fuck. Naruto had lost count how many times he'd slammed his fist against the wall. His knuckles were reddened, and there was blood – Naruto hissed even more, not liking the sight of his own blood. It was so disgusting.

And it was disgusting Sasuke as well. Besides, he did value his room and Naruto going ballistic wasn't really that much of a good thing (actually, it was rather crappy). Sasuke didn't have the financial means to buy himself a new wall just yet.

"Oh fucking shut -" Naruto yelled out again. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Calm down, Naruto," Sasuke, who'd remained silent up to this point, commanded. He didn't want Naruto to die of an aneurysm just yet. Indeed, Sasuke thought somewhat grimly, he would kill Naruto if the boy ever dared to die on him. Of course, that rather didn't make sense, seeing that you can't kill someone who has already bitten the dust, but Sasuke didn't care. He just wouldn't have Naruto worrying himself sick over things that weren't worth it in the long run.

"Fine. I'm already calm." Naruto sighed and leaned back against the cold wall. It was unsettling to feel the chill spread over his body, but it didn't matter – Sasuke was here, after all. Just being close to him made Naruto feel less cold – even it sounded cheesy.

Somehow, even though Sasuke should have known that Naruto was nothing but an annoyance, he'd settled to studying on his bed, choosing to sit next to Naruto. Perhaps, even if he was embarrassing to admit, Sasuke liked being close to Naruto as well.

Naruto was glad that Sasuke was here, and not on that damned desk. Like this, he could reach out and touch Sasuke, if he wanted to. He wouldn't lose Sasuke so easily from his grasp; the last thing Naruto wanted was for Sasuke to slip away from his hold. These days, he felt that too many things had been slipping away from him. He'd lost Sakura. Naruto nearly slapped himself on the forehead. Why was he thinking of _that_ again? He had Sasuke by his side, didn't he? Furthermore, he would never lose him – Naruto knew that now.

"But the music is awful," Naruto said, feeling he had to say something – and the truth was he wanted to talk a bit with Sasuke. All that silence had bothered him a bit.

Sasuke saw Naruto's disgusted face. He felt a shred of sympathy for him, knowing that blaring coming from his neighbour's stereo had to be a pain. However, the music didn't affect him much. He'd grown used to it – he'd been exposed to too much, which had rendered him nearly immune. Besides, there were other – more mentally-scarring things out there.

"You know, the music isn't the worst," he admitted. "My neighbour dresses like Alex De Large too. It's rather scary."

An image of his neighbour – a man in his early twenties with rings under his eyes and always barefoot – flashed before his eyes. He shook his head. Some people were really just too obscure, making Sasuke feel grateful that Naruto – for his rashness and hyperactivity – was relatively normal. At least, he didn't have any odd quirks like that neighbour of his.

"What he actually dresses like _that_? Along with the mask?" Naruto asked, surprise so evident in his tone that Sasuke had to chuckle. Naruto's all too enthusiastic nature made him more like a little boy than the eighteen-year-old he actually was. He couldn't believe that it was only a few weeks till the entrance exams; being with Naruto sometimes made him feel like they were still twelve. He was just that childish.

"Yes. Along with that," Sasuke confirmed, and closed his eyes. He wasn't really in the mood for talking, seeing how his head was spinning. He'd just gone through some equations again, which had exhausted his mental faculties. It wasn't like he was stupid or daft, but Maths just wasn't his strength. He didn't connect the dots as quickly as some people did.

Naruto, lucky idiot he was, had finished earlier. He'd fallen to complaining about the music, his aching neck and Kakashi as soon he'd been done. Sasuke had, of course, ignored him, seeing that becoming distracted now might prove to be fatal.

After all, they had entrance examinations. These two words sufficed for Sasuke to explain why he had to make it his life's duty to ensure that his entire attention was now focused on studying.

"But shouldn't you study as well?" Sasuke demanded Naruto. "I mean, it's not child's play anymore."

Naruto grimaced. "Sasuke, I will study. I do. But it's not like I need to do it twenty-four hours a day."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Naruto, you spend most of the day with me. And you never study."

"That's an exaggeration and you know it. In fact, we've been spending less time together due to exams," Naruto threw in curtly.

Sometimes he felt that Sasuke was pushing him away. That was unfair, considering that, for the past few weeks, they'd not spent that much time together. Gone were the days where Naruto had spent the nights at Sasuke's home. He had to leave, in order to study. Around Sasuke – what was the point of hiding it? - he just couldn't control himself.

Sasuke halted. He remembered now. What Naruto said was the truth. But then, he wouldn't have ascribed it only to the exams. Ever since Naruto had broken up with Sakura, things had been off about them. He couldn't place a finger on why; however, Sasuke could tell that Naruto was behaving differently towards him now.

_Nearly as if he's ashamed of being with me, _Sasuke thought. And yet, the realisation didn't sting because Sasuke knew it wasn't the truth. Naruto wasn't ashamed of their being together. In fact, he'd more or less announced their relationship to their friends as soon as possible (who, with the exception of Kiba, had taken it with less surprise than either of them had expected to). Naruto hadn't seen Sakura since the break-up. Sasuke decided to shake that thought out of his mind.

"In fact, I need to get going," Naruto announced, rising from the bed. It creaked from the sudden motion. He stretched his arms, feeling that his body had somehow gained a sluggish quality while he'd been sitting here. The music was still blasting into his ears. Strangely, he hadn't paid attention to it.

Before he moved to the door, Naruto leaned down and kissed Sasuke gently – and almost shyly – on the lips. Disappointed, Sasuke made a noise in the back of his throat – something like a moan, only quieter – and turned his head, thus deepening the kiss in a way that took both of them by surprise. Because they were really kissing now; Sasuke's tongue had invaded Naruto's mouth, and Naruto could – abandoning his objective of moving towards the door – ended up returning Sasuke's gesture just as heatedly, all the time practically pushing Sasuke down onto the bed.

Naruto nearly ended up on top of Sasuke. And while that felt nice and good – more than nice and good, in fact – he felt that he'd have to put a stop to this. Or they'd end up doing something that wasn't what either of them needed right now. Besides, if he kept rubbing against Sasuke's lower body region like this he would have a big problem. He was already starting to feel too excited.

"Sasuke," Naruto whispered, pushing him away. He got up again. "I thought you wanted to study. Not make out."

Sasuke reddened slightly when he realised that was exactly what he'd just had in mind – making out. He wouldn't have minded ditching studying for just that. It wasn't even a hormones thing. Maybe, it was stupid, but he'd just wanted to be close to Naruto.

"I did. And I will."

Naruto smiled, feeling that Sasuke wasn't telling him the entire truth. But he let it be this time; he'd make it up to Sasuke next time. However, he just needed to get home, not only because he needed to study, but because this whole new level of intimacy with Sasuke was something he needed to get used to.

...

_Me and Sasuke haven't had sex yet._

That was the first thought that sunk into Naruto's brain while he walked out of the apartment. Then, he'd been thinking about this quite often – so often that it scared him. They'd come close a few times. There had been, during the first weeks after he'd finally confronted Sakura, those nights where they'd spent a lot of time getting to know each other intimately. Sasuke had comforted him then. And Naruto – like a starved prisoner – had taken what Sasuke had offered. All that time, he hadn't spared one second thinking of Sakura.

Even now, walking down the streets, the only thing Naruto could think about was Sasuke – _Sasuke, Sasuke and Sasuke. _All of Naruto's thoughts were focused on memories of Sasuke, of what they'd done and Naruto remembered -

_Exploring, and tasting, Sasuke's neck. Watching the way his bo__dy jerked upwards when he kissed his mouth – hot and wet. The first time he'd taken Sasuke's length into his mouth. The way Sasuke's toes had curled when he had sucked__ him off. _

_Sasuke's warmth when he'd curled up next to him at night. His soothing voice, whispering it was __"__not your fault" during that single time. _

Naruto blushed at that, not entirely used to that kind of sensation yet. Sometimes it was more like a dream, where happenings were more like blurry memories. Then, there were moments when he recalled everything so vividly that it made his body tremble, his face burn red with embarrassment and his hands shake.

This was what being in love was probably like. Naruto hadn't felt like this before, and yet it wasn't too different from what he'd had with Sasuke before.

...

Sasuke was doing the shopping for that day. Sometimes Itachi did it, but today was Sasuke's turn. He rolled his eyes at the list Itachi had given him. What did they need cake for?

Just while Sasuke was mediating over the usefulness or lack thereof of cakes, Sakura walked into the shop with more than irritation. Clenching her fist, she cursed her mother, her father and their visitors for sending her there.

"Sasuke," a voice said, startling him so much that he nearly jumped. But Sasuke was a master of masking his emotions, so that when he turned around to meet the gaze of the person who'd surprised him, he didn't look any less calm than usual. It would have taken someone who knew him extremely well to tell that he was unnerved. And more than just a bit nervous.

It was the last person he'd expected to meet here.

"Sakura," Sasuke acknowledged, lowering his gaze at tad bit. He wasn't too sure he could look her in the eyes yet. Not after what had happened.

Sakura smiled weakly, equally ashamed. She hadn't expected to meet him here either. Then again, Sakura thought, she should have expected it. It wasn't like she could avoid either him or Naruto for the rest of her life. Even if part of her wanted to do exactly that.

"It's been a while," Sakura forced herself to say, knowing very well that she would have to initiate the discussion. Sasuke wasn't that merciful; he would never be the one to take the first step.

"Yes," Sasuke acknowledged gruffly, holding the package of sugar and plastic container of milk more tightly in his arms. The shopping list had fallen on the floor. Sasuke hadn't noticed that.

"I know. It's strange how school alienates us all. And we have final exams, too! Say are you and Naruto going to same university as-"

Sakura stopped.

"You know, you don't have to play pretend, Sakura. I know you hate me," Sasuke interrupted, his voice cool and firm.

Sakura froze. Her eyes, which she'd kept fixed on a shelf filled with jars of jam before, now focused on Sasuke's. She knew that they were burning with pain. She could see that Sasuke took a step back. He probably hadn't expected Sakura to be courageous enough to meet his gaze.

"That's not the truth, Sasuke. I don't hate you ... nor do I hate Naruto."

It was the truth. She didn't hate either of them. That would have been easy. Too easy, Sakura admitted to herself. Indeed, there had been moments she had spent cursing both of them, drawing out all the bitterness and disappointment from her heart-break. She'd spent two days thinking of reasons why Naruto would eventually come to realise that he wouldn't be happy with Sasuke, that he'd made the mistake of his life choosing him over her. Oh, how she'd have loved to hate him. How she would have loved to dismiss the fact that he was anything but a stupid prick.

And yet, she couldn't. Sakura wasn't selfish like that. Besides, she'd always told herself that – no matter what happened – she would remain their friend.

"You know, it would have been easy to hate. Maybe, at some point, I did hate you."

Sasuke didn't say anything, so Sakura forced herself to say more even if it hurt. "I hated that you'd turned me into the third wheel again. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I realised I'd always been that – a third wheel."

"You're not the third wheel," Sasuke said quietly. If Sakura hadn't been in close proximity, she'd have missed the meaning of his words.

"Of course I am. In the end, Naruto chose you over me."

_And if you'd gone out with me, Sasuke. You'd have done the same. It's a vicious cycle. _

Sasuke shook his head. "You're so dim-witted, Sakura. It's not about choosing. You're important to him too."

Sakura laughed bitterly. The wound – the emptiness – hadn't healed entirely yet. For Sasuke, it was all right. He'd gotten Naruto. He had the assurance that his love was reciprocated; he didn't have to live with the fact that his love wasn't returned. Sakura was the one who had to listen to Ino's incredulity about Naruto having become gay for Sasuke. It had made her feel sicker than anything else could have made her.

Every time she'd heard – be it Chouji or Kiba – talk about them, her heart had broken just a bit more. She hadn't stopped meeting with Naruto's friends just because she and Naruto had called it quits. She just didn't meet with Naruto anymore. Sasuke had always been avoiding her, anyway.

She wasn't that dumb to believe that she was so incredibly important to Naruto. Had she been truly important to him, he wouldn't have kept her by his side out of pity. It wasn't so much that Sakura minded his being with Sasuke. That was fine with her. What had broken her more was the fact that he'd used her as a means to run away from his own feelings.

"He lied to me, Sasuke. He made me fall in love with him. Even if - "

_He didn't love. He just pulled me along the ride. _

Sasuke gritted his teeth. He knew Naruto well enough to admit that he was a) an idiot b) impulsive and c) quite oblivious at times. Still, Sasuke knew that Naruto would have never manipulated someone in such an insensitive manner. Sakura had gotten it all wrong.

"That's not true. He wouldn't do something like this. You, of all people, should know that," Sasuke said coolly.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. You should know that it still hurts."

Sasuke could see that quite plainly. She looked awful – thinner than he remembered her and more haggard as well. She'd lost that sparkle to her. Sasuke hated that he had been responsible for this, that he'd added to her pain by treating her like garbage.

"Don't you think it hurts him as well?" Sasuke asked, sounding more callous than he wished to. Yet, it had to be said. Sasuke wasn't one for hiding facts. He felt that Sakura should know everything.

"Naruto isn't happy just because he's got me now. He lost a friend. An important friend. And that's eating him up."

"Sasuke-" Sakura started, not sure how to interpret these words. Sasuke had no reason to say those things. Hadn't she, after all, just stood in his way with Naruto?

"I'm not telling you to forgive him today. But think about it. And Sakura? I'm sorry. For everything I did."

It wasn't an eloquent apology. It barely scratched the surface of what she needed to hear. Moreover, it wasn't what Sakura deserved. Then, life is rarely that – it's mostly less poetic, less beautiful and decidedly more uneventful than we'd like it to be.

Therefore, Sakura accepted the words for what they were. She nodded in acknowledgement, not smiling but not looking grave, either. Her eyes flickered with understanding. Sasuke nodded in return, then he turned away from her and picked up the shopping list he'd dropped on the floor.

All the while, he held on to the package of sugar and bottle of milk he'd picked out earlier before. Sasuke walked out to the counter, paid for the things and then left the shop. All normal events.

Sasuke looked so normal then. It had never hit Sakura how normal and human Sasuke was. In his jeans and dark blue sweatshirt, Sasuke struck her as being nothing but a normal boy. Perhaps, a very pretty sort of boy, but a normal boy, nevertheless. Up to this point, Sakura realised with more than shock, he'd been something untouchable, indecipherable to her.

...

Ino listened attentively to what Sakura said. Yet, to any good observer, it would have been painfully evident that she was bored. Under these circumstances, it was understandable: Ino had listened to Sakura's tirades about Naruto for quite a while. Most of the time, the outcomes were the same.

"So should I – what should I do?" Sakura asked, throwing herself back on the bed.

Ino shook her head. "You're asking me? I'm not you, Sakura. How can I know what you should do?"

Indeed, what Ino would have done was to a) stop whining b)try to get on with life and c) just remember that there are other things in life than men. But if she had said that, Ino knew she would have been called "heartless" by Sakura. Besides, it was all too easy to view things so rationally when you hadn't had your heart-broken. For Sakura, who had really been in love with Naruto, Ino knew that things weren't so clear-cut.

"Aren't you my best friend?" came Sakura's voice from somewhere below her, and Ino felt irritation flare up in her. Sometimes she felt that Sakura had no right to pull that card on her, seeing how she'd always been there for her. Then, Ino - realising what she'd been just thinking - forced herself to snap out of it. The incident over them fighting over Sasuke was in the past.

"Yes. But not your conscience. You have to decide yourself."

Sakura resisted the urge to throttle her so-called best friend. She'd hoped that Ino, who happened to see things more objectively than she did, would give her a bit more advice than that. Hell, Sakura knew that – inadvertently – she had to decide on her own.

"Can't you tell me what you really think, Ino?" Sakura tried again, wanting to hear the truth – not some sugar-coated lies. She had had enough of those lately; her entire relationship with Naruto had been based on that.

"Then, I think you should call Naruto."

"And why?"

Ino fiddled with her toes. "He was honest with you. When you asked him, he didn't shrink away. That must have been hard for him, you know?"

Sakura willed herself not to slap her forehead now. Of course, it had been hard for him, too. She knew it. Had known it then, when they'd talked on that cold bench, with the leaves fluttering above their heads and her heart breaking bit by bit – had it been a stormy day then too?

Oh yes, he must have suffered then. Sakura reasoned that he must – at least a part of him – must have suffered as much as she had. The part of her that was vengeful felt that Naruto deserved that, but another part of her – the one that had been, and still was Naruto's friend – felt awful.

"Besides, your being so miserable is annoying. Just call him. Get over with it," Ino continued, ignoring the lack of response coming from Sakura.

Sakura hid her face in her pillow. "It's not like I don't want to call. I just don't know what to say."

Ino sighed again. "Gosh, you won't find out until you act on it. Just do it, Sakura. Or do you want to wait another fifty years?"

"Ino-"

Ino snapped her fingers. "Really, Sakura. Just do it. And stop making your life hell by wondering and thinking too much. It's not healthy. Look at yourself in the mirror and then you'll see what I mean."

Ino wanted to say more, but at that moment her father chose to call for her, abruptly ending their discussion. Sakura had never been happier. Because even if she wasn't angry anymore, Sakura still wasn't ready. Even if Ino was right.

Very right, indeed.

...

A few days later, Naruto was chewing on his pencil and trying to go through a text about DNA and the various ways that it worked, when his father knocked on his door. Minato had always been an overly polite man. Perhaps, a tad bit too polite.

"Yes?" Naruto demanded, looking at his father with curiosity.

Minato smiled up at him, affectionately taking in how his son – normally, so blissfully unconcerned in his academic pursuits – was pouring over his books. He was forced to admit to himself that Naruto was growing up; it made him feel like an old man. Of course, it wasn't he like really felt so, being only in his forties and still very youthful, thank you very much. Besides, Kakashi never failed to remind Minato that his life was quite far from being over.

"A phone call," Minato said, decidedly less gruff than his son.

"Tell them I'm busy," Naruto murmured back, burying his face in his hands. The cool of his palms was comforting, easing the throbbing in his head. Really. He didn't understand how some people enjoyed this stuff – all the useless information. It was nothing other than gibberish to him really, was coaxing in its stern intensity.

"No, I think you'd like to speak to – her."

"Her?" Naruto asked, gaping dumbly at Minato.

Naruto took the mobile phone with shaking hands. He had a fairly good idea of who "her" could be. He only knew one female who knew his home number. It wasn't like Naruto didn't attract the attention of girls – he did – but he was quite careful whom he shared his home number with. Of course, Naruto wasn't paranoid. Yet, more than often, Kakashi tended to pick up the phone, and that – to put it mildly – was quite an experience of its own.

"Sakura?"

"Yes, it's me," Sakura confirmed.

"Fine. Look- I'm-" Naruto stopped; his words has pretty much died down his throat.

"Yes?"

"I ... fuck, I just don't know what to say."

"I don't know what to say either, Naruto. It's been a while."

"It has."

"How are you?"

Naruto smiled. So, she didn't hate him entirely.

"Good, I guess. Lots of studying to do. I guess, you too?"

"Yes."

"Naruto-"

"Yes?"

"I missed you. I just wanted to say that."

"It's – I missed you too."

"Yes. I have to hang up now. I have go eat lunch?"

"Okay. See you?"

"Yes. See you."

Naruto smiled a somewhat bitter smile when he heard Sakura hang up. She'd sounded distant, which didn't surprise him in the least. He had barely managed to string a sentence together himself. God, it had been awkward.

It was probably going to remain awkward for a while because, even if Sakura had sounded somewhat calmer now, things were still broken between them. Naruto didn't know how long the awkwardness would remain; however, he hoped that the breach, which now stood between them, would be mended one day. And this phone call – as insignificant as it seemed – had been a push in the right direction. Naruto smiled, placed the mobile phone on his desk and focused on the task at hand.

...

Naruto was in an unusually good mood that day. The neighbour was listening to that particular (and hateful) symphony again, but Naruto hadn't complained a single time. Instead, he was actually studying, which was more than abnormal. Well, maybe not abnormal, but rather unusual. Sasuke, who somehow wasn't in the mood for studying, felt that he had to address that peculiarity. Mostly because, if he didn't, he would have to convince himself that he was day-dreaming.

"Say Naruto, did something happen to you today?" Sasuke hoped it was something along the lines of Kakashi having said something perverted.

Naruto paused. "Actually yes. Sakura called."

There he'd said it. Naruto had wanted to bring it up before, but somehow the opportunity had not presented itself. Also, he had not wanted to upset Sasuke needlessly; he knew that Sakura was still a sore topic.

Sasuke stiffened. Maybe, it was irrational; however, he felt a bit of that old fear – that of being abandoned in favour of Sakura – light up in him again. He ignored it, though. Sasuke knew that, in spite of all his short-comings, Naruto had chosen him. He'd chosen him. There was no reason to be scared of anything now.

Naruto, as if sensing Sasuke's fear, immediately reassured him: "Don't worry. It's – not like we're getting together again."

Sasuke slapped Naruto's hand away, seething with rage. "You'd better not even think about that! Or I'd kill you-"

"Sheesh, calm down Sasuke. I don't want to fight with you."

"There is something else I want to do, Sasuke."

"Go back to studying again?" Sasuke asked, grinding his arousal up against Naruto's own. He was evil for that. Then again, he wasn't going to let Naruto go until he'd taken care of _that_. "You've studied enough today."

Naruto grinned. "You're quite pushy, you know that?"

Sasuke sighed, feeling that Naruto was mocking him. His fingers caressed Naruto's cheek, lovingly tracing those scars with his – what he felt them to be – dry fingers. Naruto shuddered at that touch and his eyes closed. Sasuke smiled lightly at this, glad that his subtle hints at affection were so appreciated by Naruto.

"No, but you started this. Then finish it too."

Naruto kissed Sasuke then, forcing the other boy's mouth open by nibbling his lower lip lightly – Sasuke gave him free access, allowing Naruto to kiss him more deeply. Naruto felt tingles of excitement build up in him. _This_ was a good sign. Sasuke was pliant, more submissive than usual. Usually, it took a few more attempts at kissing to get Sasuke to be so accommodating. He had to be somehow brought in the mood. Naruto had learned quite early on in their relationship that Sasuke wasn't the sort that enjoyed being tossed down on the bed. Indeed, if thus provoked, Sasuke was quite likely to use his fist as a means getting his point across. If he didn't want to do something, he would make this painfully clear.

"You know, that was what I had in mind, anyway," he whispered into Sasuke's ear. "But I want more ... I want to feel you more, Sasuke."

"Hmm?" Sasuke asked, not fully grasping what Naruto was referring to. He didn't want Naruto to talk so much, but instead continue biting his earlobe lightly. He groaned, and turned his head to side, giving Naruto more access to his ear – and neck.

"Oh come on," Naruto said, still nuzzling Sasuke's neck tenderly, "I'm almost always the one in control or initiating stuff. I want to you to -"

Sasuke's eyes snapped open. Had Naruto just suggested that he was too passive? Anger grabbed hold of him. If that was what Naruto seemed to think of him, he'd have to show him otherwise. Sasuke wasn't going to let Naruto get away with this.

Sasuke rolled them over, so that he was on top of Naruto now. "I do initiate stuff, moron."

Naruto handed the lube to Sasuke, his cheeks blushing at that. Sasuke reddened himself. He hadn't expected this right now. He thought Naruto had meant a blow job or – well, Sasuke just hadn't expected this. Not actual penetration.

"Do you know what you're implying, Naruto?" Sasuke snapped, looking at the alien object in his hand. He knew what to do with it more or less. You smeared it on your fingers, then put a lube-smeared finger into someone's anus and prepared them with it. Putting finger after finger into him would make your partner loosen up, and get used to having something up there.

Sasuke had read all that. Yet, when he was confronted with it in reality, he suddenly felt rather awkward. Would he really have to do this to Naruto as well? What if Naruto wouldn't like it?

What if -

For the first time in his life, Sasuke was glad when he was interrupted in his thoughts.

"Of course, I do," Naruto barked back, cheeks still blazing red. Why was Sasuke making this so awkward? It wasn't like they hadn't talked about having sex before! Besides, this was rather frustrating. All this jumping around the bush, the age-old cat and mouse game that they'd been playing for months was grating on his nerves. He just wanted to get over with it – the sooner, the better.

Sasuke sighed in relief. "Then you know that there's no-"

He needed to address the importance of this, even though both of them knew that sex wouldn't necessarily change everything between them. It would just add a new dimension to their relationship; it would simply mean that they not only kissed, but also had sex. Yet, that would not make them different people. Sasuke would still be Sasuke, and Naruto would be Naruto.

Still, Sasuke was all nerves and he was shuddering. Not so much because he feared the change, but because it was just too sudden. And, all of a sudden, Sasuke was reminded of just how terribly, awkwardly young he still was (holding that odd lube in his hands and watching Naruto's eyes fixed on him was like standing in the midst of a suffocatingly hot room while being asked to strip in front of everyone).

Naruto, however, had no time. "Sasuke, _shut up_. Just use this thing or I'll use it. Your choice – but I'd prefer if you'd do it. I'm tired today."

And he was. Besides, he'd been the one to do the kissing. He felt that it was time Sasuke did something too; he felt it was unfair that he was doing all the work.

"Fine."

Sasuke decided that he'd just go along with it. So, he poured the – gosh, cool and somewhat slimy – substance over his palm and then coated his fingers with it. He'd cut his fingernails today, which he figured was good. After all, it might have gotten uncomfortable for Naruto otherwise; he wasn't too sure that either of them was ready for those kind of kinks yet. Maybe, on day they would be, but this wasn't the time.

Now, he'd get to – Sasuke gulped at that somewhat unappealing thought – of putting his fingers into Naruto's hole. And Naruto was laying there, his throbbing cock – still hard – and his legs stretched out. He looked somewhat odd, and yet Sasuke's own cock throbbed at the sight. Because, even if this was all alien and strange, he couldn't deny that another part him of thought it was kind of hot. Sasuke ignored the more logical parts of his mind, and placed a finger into the Naruto's tight – well, he couldn't think about it. He could feel Naruto's tremble; there was a gasp as well. Sasuke prayed that he was doing this right.

Apparently not. Because Naruto let out a "fuck".

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, starting to feel even more awkward than before.

Naruto gnashed his teeth. "It stings, moron! Be gentler!"

Maybe that wasn't such a good idea, Naruto thought, face red when he felt Sasuke's finger probing around inside of him. Not only did it sting, it was embarrassing. It didn't feel arousing at all. He'd thought that this preparing stuff was supposed to be hot. Kakashi had once told him that nothing could be hotter than -

Naruto preferred to not think about it. Any reference to sex, which included his father and Kakashi, just made him feel anything but aroused. Perhaps, he was immature but they were his mentors -- and it was just too awkward.

"I am. Relax," Sasuke returned angrily. He was doing his best, damnit. It wasn't like he was oh so thrilled having his finger up Naruto's ass. Besides, Naruto's thrashing and cursing wasn't making this anymore pleasant; he'd thought that Naruto would enjoy this. Then again, realising just what he was doing and how, Sasuke guessed that he wouldn't have been a better sport about this, either.

"I guess, I should -" Sasuke wasn't going to finish that sentence. He figured that Naruto knew what he was going to do. So, Sasuke did the only thing that popped into his mind. He caught Naruto's lips with his own, settling his body above Naruto's. He placed himself between Naruto's legs, could feel his cock rub against Naruto's and that made him groan momentarily. Damn it. Even if he'd been irritated and annoyed, Sasuke had remained hard – one part of his body had remained hopelessly eager about the prospect of the upcoming event. Sasuke shuddered. He really couldn't believe they were going to do this.

"Are you-" Sasuke started, but another "fuck" coming from Naruto stopped him.

"Just do it. Quit asking me such embarrassing questions!" Naruto snapped. Because this was embarrassing, all right. Being naked and in such a somewhat demeaning position was nearly humiliating. Besides, Sasuke was taking too long, prolonging this so unnecessary that Naruto wanted to drive his fist against something. Preferably the wall. Not Sasuke. He rather liked Sasuke's face.

Sasuke sighed. _Insufferable idiot,_ he thought. Well, if Naruto was going to make this so difficult, then he'd just let him have it his way. Counting till ten, Sasuke slowly positioned his penis at Naruto's entrance, doing his best not to cuss while he did so.

Sasuke trembled while he did so, and swore that sweat was running down his back; however, there was no stopping himself now. And then he could feel it – his head was slowly pushing into the warm and tight heat. Naruto groaned underneath him; the groan grew into a hiss as Sasuke pushed in even more – pushed and pushed until he was fully sheathed inside of Naruto. _Oh God,_ he thought.

_Damn - that hurts_, ran through Naruto's head. It did hurt too. The pain was nearly searing, like being – well, not nearly split in two – but he was being uncomfortably stretched. Besides, Sasuke was heavy. His chest was sweaty as well, sweaty and wet against his own chest. Sasuke's sweat, dripping down his forehead, was intermingling with his own. But Naruto didn't mind that much. What he minded more was that he felt so idiotic – his knees spread apart, his chest heaving and gosh, his head filling dizzier than ever.

And Naruto wasn't entirely sure if this whole ordeal – the feeling embarrassed and so humiliated – was really worth it. Maybe sex was just over-rated. A fabricated lie told by the media to make people buy trashy romance novels – or something like that.

_And I can't believe I actually pushed Sasuke into doing this with me now. _

But then he realised. It was worth it. Sasuke was – wow – he was really inside of him now. Even if it hurt, Naruto could feel Sasuke so very much that it overwhelmed him. Through all the pain, Naruto felt something like anticipation build in up in his stomach. This might just begin to feel good soon enough.

"You fine?" Sasuke asked, his voice shaky. It was too hard to remain indifferent now.

Naruto nodded. He wasn't in the mood to talk. Besides, what could he say right now? He couldn't say anything because he felt that whatever words would have come pouring out of his mouth would have been incoherent gibberish. His brain had long since stopped functioning properly.

Instead, he just opted for caressing Sasuke's cheek, liking how the other boy sighed at the touch.

This was the only thing he was going to get from Naruto, Sasuke realised. There'd be no verbal agreement from him, maybe because there was nothing else to be said. That was fine. Sasuke didn't need anything else, other than the knowledge that Naruto was fine with this – fine with them being together.

And so he started to move, slowly at first. Even if the sensation of being inside of Naruto was – to put it quite plainly – amazing; it was all heat and tightness, as well as something else. Something that wasn't necessarily connected to being inside of Naruto than the epiphany that they were finally really together. That, after all the struggle and doubt, there would be no more obstacles standing in the way. At least, Sasuke thought so at that moment. Perhaps, it was naïve, but then he was only a teenager who was experiencing all the frightful passion of being with a special person for the first time. A little light-headedness and sappiness was easily excusable on his part, Sasuke thought.

Sasuke was so gentle. Naruto marvelled at that, while he ran his fingers down Sasuke's back. He'd expected him to be more passionate and rough, slamming into him with the full force of someone who'd been deprived of pleasure for too long. But he was gentle, moving slowly and truly trying to get Naruto used to the feeling of him. Naruto shut his eyes. He had to admit he rather liked this – rather liked feeling Sasuke inside of him. The pain had become duller.

Slowly, Naruto felt that it was starting to feel quite ... pleasant. Yes, so Sasuke was still heavy and the slapping-sliding sounds of their bodies moving together wasn't like music in his ears, but it felt nice. Sasuke was warm. His body heat, the lips that occasionally brushed against Naruto's forehead and that hand rubbing his own arousal felt good – more than good, actually.

"Faster," Sasuke heard Naruto stammer out. Sasuke obliged, losing himself further in being inside of Naruto. He knew that he wasn't going to last long, knew that thrusting faster now would only lead to his coming quicker. But then, Naruto was groaning and thrashing underneath him, tempting him so much that -

Damn it, he just couldn't hold it anymore. Sasuke, having always been a person who thought he had himself in control, came faster than he'd expected. He came with a harsh, undignified grunt and fell forward onto Naruto's chest, burying his head in Naruto's reddened neck. He briefly licked the salty skin, liking how Naruto groaned at that.

This had been good. But he'd come way too fast. In fact, Sasuke noticed with horror that Naruto was still hard.

"I'm sorry-" Sasuke started, but Naruto shook his head. Not that again. He was tired. He was sweaty, and – above all – he just needed release. Fuck Sasuke and his insecurity complex. He needed action, not retraction.

"Don't apologise. Just do something," Naruto shot back, and taking Sasuke's hand into his led it to his still hardened cock. Sasuke, gulping down quite a bit saliva, encircled it with his hands and started to pump – earning a groan from Naruto. He pumped a bit more, continuing to do so till he felt something slightly warm sputtering on his hand. Then, out of curiosity, he licked his fingers, tasting Naruto's semen.

Naruto was horrified. "Sasuke- did you just?"

Sasuke shook his shoulders. "It didn't taste that bad."

Naruto threw a pillow at him. "That's about the most disgusting-"

Sasuke decided that now was the time to shut Naruto up with a kiss, even if he'd tasted pre-cum. Then again, Naruto didn't seem to mind it all that much now.

...

In another part of the city, Sakura closed the book she had just been reading with a loud sigh.

Going to study medicine was going to be difficult, she knew that. Then, all-nighters like this would probably become the norm; however, she had made up her mind on it. She would become a doctor – she knew she would be a good one. It had always been her dream to be independent.

_Naruto and Sasuke _

_Naruto -_

It still hurt to think about him - them. Sakura felt that it would probably still hurt for a while and that – for the time being – she was better off not seeing him. Or Sasuke.

_But it won't last forever._

No, she didn't want things to return to how they had been. Rather, she wanted them – her, Naruto and Sasuke – to have a new beginning, where no one was a third wheel. Where Sasuke wouldn't feel neglected, she didn't feel redundant and Naruto would not been torn.

"Sakura, can you finally switch that light off?" Ino grumbled, shielding her eyes with the blanket. "And get to bed. You've been carrying this on too much."

Sakura smiled. She knew that things were going to turn out just fine – because even a wasteland can be transformed to something beautiful, if you applied enough patience and love to it.

---


End file.
